06/02/2026
My body had to take the wheel because my protectors wouldn’t let go.
During my facilitator training in Bali, I developed a savage cough.
It frustrated the hell out of me.
I felt like my body was failing me — and I couldn’t meet myself with compassion at all.
After some rest, something shifted.
I stopped seeing the cough as a problem and started listening to it as a messenger.
There was something in me that needed to be expressed.
Something I hadn’t realised was still being held as trauma.
My protectors were strong — really strong.
Holding it together. Staying composed. Staying “capable.”
Until they couldn’t anymore.
In one of our circles, I stopped holding back.
I was too ill to keep performing strength.
The cough meant I physically couldn’t hold it all in — and honestly? It was freeing.
I remember thinking, f**k it — I’m just going to be me.
In that moment, I found more safety inside myself than I ever had before.
Confident in my calm.
Able to show up authentically and feel safe doing so.
This is the work I care about.
Not fixing.
Not forcing.
Letting the body speak.
If your body has ever stopped you in your tracks, maybe it wasn’t failing you — maybe it was protecting you.
