Wheely Happy Days

29/11/2025

Insomnia strikes again (2am) after a night of broken bad dreams and plenty of tears. Morning like these I try to dictate or take notes for my journal - which I am failing at keeping up to date.
But this morning words fail me. I feel so very alone right now, listening to the rainfall through my constant, but somewhat comforting tinnitus. I can't see through the brain fog to make sense of any of my thoughts. But my brain keep buzzing and I'm overthinking everything.

I guess the only feeling I can identify is an overwhelming sense of sadness, and lots of physical pain, my painkillers haven't scratced the surface of this morning.

I'm not posting for sympathy, I'm not being unkind, but I'm not seeking please validation or attention. Just needed to write my feelings down, keep it real. Because life throws curve balls and there are many wheelysaddays too. I have never been good at dodgeball.

(I tried to turn comments off, but duh, brain fog I can't work out to do it, not a great look seeing as l used to be a marketing manger before I lost everything).

How far I've fallen 😔.

28/11/2025

Warning ⚠️ I've a bee in my bonnet. Bit of a rant

It's been a properly rubbish couple of days, I'll admit. Yes, I was a bit naughty and overdid things, and my body responded with its usual sense of proportion - two lost days to and pain that would make a medieval torturer approve. But this is life now, isn't it?

I normally manage my days rather well with my Visible Health band (modern technology keeping me vaguely functional). But here's the thing - just because I'm chronically ill and because of this disabled doesn't mean I've taken a vow of joylessness. Sometimes I do things knowing full well my Ellyllons will exact their revenge. That's my choice to make.

What I absolutely don't need right now is to go on social and be faced with reading all this nonsense about people with disabilities "taking the p**s." I haven't exactly chosen this glamorous lifestyle.

Two years ago I was fit, healthy, living a full life with a well-paid job I genuinely loved. Do people honestly think I'm thrilled about needing care from my husband and son, being in constant pain that medications barely touch, feeling isolated because getting out of bed or picking up the phone feels impossible?

That I enjoy grieving daily for the life, friends, normal happy marriage and career I had before? Or living with depression so deep you feel like a burden to everyone you love and can't earn a wage a feel like a failure in life because the only thing I contribute is surviving on benefits?

To anyone out there gaslighting chronically ill people: spend a week in my shoes, then come back and tell me we're "taking the p**s."

Better yet, don't. Life is quite tough enough without any more of your bu****it. Time for a complete social cull. So if you find yourself blocked, sorry not sorry. You're just not worth using what little headspace and energy I have left.

Rant over. (Apologies, I've a potty mouth)

27/11/2025

🙏you are never alone. We are all in the same boat and understand the isolation our conditions make us feel.

Sending the warmest of hugs 💛
—thanks to Tiny Buddha

27/11/2025

27/11/2025

When you've hit that wall—the proper wall, not the one you can grit your teeth and stumble through—"Struggling" by The Lottery Winners just sits there with you and says, "Yeah, mate. I know."

It's that rare thing: a song that doesn't try to fix you or rally you or tell you it'll all be worth it. It just acknowledges that sometimes the everyday stuff—the things other people do without thinking—costs you everything you've got and then some.

And when you're already running on fumes, trying to squeeze out a bit of joy or normality, that cost becomes impossible.

It understands that some days, KOKO keeping going isn't inspirational—it's just exhausting. And there's something quietly comforting about hearing someone sing about the weight of it all without dressing it up or making it mean something it doesn't.

Sometimes you don't need motivation. You just need someone to say, "This is hard, and it's okay to admit it."

If you're, like me really struggling today too. Take time to be kind to yourself. Rest and keep on keeping on. This is for you 🩷 have a listen....

Provided to YouTube by Universal Music GroupStruggling · The Lottery WinnersKOKO℗ 2025 The Lottery Winners, Under Exclusive License to Modern Sky UKReleased ...

26/11/2025

Paul Taylor

Next High Horses show is this event at the Hare and Hounds in Kings Heath 15th August. 2 live sets of music and Djs between and afterwards!

26/11/2025

New research shows that the simple act of focusing on the good in life can physically rewire your brain. Thanks to the magic of neuroplasticity, your brain adapts to seek out more positive experiences, creating a self-reinforcing cycle of optimism and resilience.

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s incredible ability to reorganise itself by forming new neural connections. By consciously paying attention to positive thoughts, moments, and gratitude, you strengthen the pathways that make your mind naturally more positive. Over time, this can improve mood, reduce stress, enhance problem-solving, and even support better decision-making.

This discovery is a powerful reminder that mindset is more than just a feeling—it’s a physiological change in the brain. Small daily habits like journaling gratitude, celebrating achievements, or noticing the small joys around you can literally rewire your neural circuits toward happiness and well-being.

Harness the power of neuroplasticity today and watch your brain transform in ways that support positivity, growth, and mental strength.

25/11/2025

Out purpling the purple bearded one.

Due to hair loss my new addiction is wigs. Not as easy as you think though, so if anyone can recommend a great wig supplier (of the funky variety) I'd be grateful. I've only got a little head!

25/11/2025

I love Rainkiss ponchos. They are great when you're in a wheelchair, lightweight and pack up small into their own pocket. One of my festival essentials.

Discover Rainkiss mens and womens one-size fits all unisex rain ponchos. Our rain ponchos use recycled materials like 100% recycled polyester & PFAS free waterproof coating. At Rainkiss we are on a mission to replace single use plastic ponchos with a fashion forward sustainable rain poncho.

24/11/2025

Wish me luck, I'm going in. 🙏