16/11/2025
Confidence is't hype- its safety
She’d read every self-help book going.
Post-its on her mirror.
Confidence affirmations on repeat.
But nothing stuck.
She told me, “I say all the right things… but the fear’s still there.”
Of course it was.
Because her body didn’t believe the words.
Not yet.
It remembered the presentations at school when her voice shook and people laughed.
The job interview where she blanked and was told, “You’re not quite what we’re looking for.”
The relationship where every opinion was “too sensitive” or “overthinking.”
Her unconscious wasn’t waiting for positive thinking.
It was waiting for safety.
So she stopped trying to think better.
And started showing her body that nothing bad would happen if she spoke up.
Slowly, something shifted.
She didn’t become fearless.
She became free.
She messaged me later:
“I didn’t hype myself up this time. I just did it. And my body felt calm — like it trusted me.”
That’s what confidence actually is.
Not louder thoughts.
Just less threat.
