The Not So Fertile Psychologist, Chichester (2026)

Supporting women & couples to find balance on the rollercoaster of infertility💗

10+ years as a psychologist
3+ years of my own secondary infertility journey🍍

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27/01/2026

“But trauma is for people who’ve been through really bad things...”

As a fertility psychologist, I hear this often in my work. And I get it. I had the same thoughts during my own fertility journey, even with my professional background.

But trauma isn’t just about major life-threatening events. It’s about how your nervous system processes ongoing uncertainty, medical procedures, and repeated emotional pain.

Your body responds to stress and emotional pain in very real, physical ways. Those physical reactions (the anxiety, the avoidance) are all part of your system trying to protect you.

And fertility trauma is unique because:

· It’s ongoing
· It involves your body
· It triggers primal fears
· It’s often invisible to others
· It comes with repeated exposure

If you’ve been wondering if your reactions are ‘normal’, I want you to know, they are. You’re not being dramatic. Your body is responding exactly as it should be to a challenging situation.

Save this post for validation on hard days or share it with someone who needs to feel understood.

Remember, you did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone!💕

Want to learn more about managing fertility trauma? Join my newsletter by replying support below, you’ll receive validation, understanding and practical strategies drawn from both my professional and personal experience.

09/12/2025

I was broken.

Years of trying, failed treatments, an early miscarriage, and the relentless cycle of hope and disappointment had left me struggling in ways I’d never experienced before.

And as a clinical psychologist working with mums and babies, I was surrounded daily by what I desperately wanted but couldn’t have.

I knew I needed support. I knew I needed time away from that role whilst I processed my grief and trauma.

So, I reached out to my supervisor who was very supportive.

I then got a call from a senior member of the leadership team. That’s when I heard it: “We’ve all had our problems Grace, but really.....”

In that moment, my experience was minimised to just another “problem” I should be handling better. As if years of infertility, medical procedures, and cumulative grief were something I should just get on with.

And if this can happen in mental health services, imagine how often it happens everywhere else.

I really wish that she had understood that infertility isn’t something you can always just push yourself through. It’s ongoing trauma. It’s loss after loss. It’s uncertainty about the future. It’s trying to heal from something you’re still living through.

I wasn’t weak for needing time away. I was human. And I now know it was brave to say what I needed.

If you’ve ever had your infertility experience minimised or dismissed, I see you. Your struggle is valid. Your pain is real. And you’re not overreacting.

This journey is brutal, and it deserves to be acknowledged as such.

💕 Want to be part of a community that truly understands? Comment SUPPORT below to join my Beyond the Wait newsletter where your experience is never minimised or dismissed.

Remember: You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone.

08/12/2025

This time of year can bring such conflicting emotions.

Part of you genuinely wants to embrace the festive season. You want to enjoy the lights, the traditions, the time with loved ones. You want to feel that Christmas magic you used to feel.

But underneath it all is a heavy grief.

Another Christmas without the baby you thought you’d have by now. Another year of watching your extended family grow while you remain stuck in infertility. Another round of well-meaning questions about “when you’ll have kids” over the dinner table.

You see your sibling’s children opening presents and you feel genuine joy for them AND crushing sadness that your child isn’t there too.

You love being auntie or uncle, but you desperately want to be mum or dad as well.

Two things can be true at once.

You can be excited about Christmas morning AND grieve the morning you imagined having.

You can appreciate the family you have AND long for the family you’re trying to create.

You can enjoy the festivities AND feel exhausted by the emotional weight of it all.

This isn’t you being ungrateful or negative. This is you holding complex, valid emotions that exist together - joy and grief, excitement and sadness, happiness and anger.

Or maybe all you feel is the grief, sadness or anger and that’s okay too.

If you’re struggling to navigate the complex feelings this Christmas, you’re not alone.

It’s okay to feel festive one moment and heartbroken the next. It’s okay to need to step away when it gets too much. It’s okay to cry while hanging the decorations.

Be kind to yourself through this festive period. You’re managing something incredibly difficult while trying to show up for the people you love.

💕 Want support navigating the emotional complexities of fertility during the festive season and beyond? Comment SUPPORT below to join my Beyond the Wait newsletter community where we explore these mixed feelings together.

Remember: You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone.

01/12/2025

Every cycle brings that little bit of hope.

That “maybe this time.”

And every disappointment makes hope feel like setting yourself up for more pain.

It’s brutal.

You can’t just fully let go of hope because what if this is THE cycle? And what if giving up hope means missing your chance?

So you exist in this exhausting middle ground.

Too scared to hope fully. Too scared to stop hoping entirely.

The uncertainty of not knowing if this will ever happen - if all this pain will be worth it or if you’re enduring it “for nothing” - is one of the hardest parts of this journey.

Your exhaustion with the unknown is valid.

Your fear of hoping is understandable.

And your struggle to be okay with the “maybe” makes complete sense.

💕 If you’re struggling with the uncertainty of your fertility journey, comment GUIDE below and I’ll send you my free Managing Uncertainty guide with strategies to help you navigate the unknown.

Remember: You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and you are not alone.

Address

Chichester

Website

http://www.hopeinmindpsychology.com/

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