14/04/2026
Ever wondered what to say to someone going through fertility struggles?
Infertility can be so isolating.
Well-meaning comments often land wrong, leaving everyone feeling worse.
So, I asked the fertility community what they ACTUALLY want to hear from the people who support them.
Their answers were incredibly insightful.
What stood out most is that people don’t expect their loved ones to have magic words or solutions.
They simply want acknowledgment, compassion, and genuine support.
The most meaningful responses:
• Validate the struggle without minimising it
• Offer specific help rather than vague support
• Ask questions instead of giving advice
• Express a willingness to learn and understand
• Acknowledge you don’t have to “fix” their pain
• Show up consistently with small gestures
(like a simple heart emoji)
No one wanted to hear “just relax,” “at least you can get pregnant,” “my cousin tried for years and then adopted and got pregnant right after,” or “have you tried...?”
Supporting someone through infertility isn’t about having answers or even the “perfect” words. It’s about creating space for their feelings, checking in regularly, and being present without judgment.
Most importantly, it’s about listening more than you speak.
If you want to be a better at supporting someone, save these slides.
And if you’re on this journey yourself, share this with the people in your life who genuinely want to help but might not know how.
- Share this post as widely as possible so more people can get the support they need during this journey
Remember: You did not choose this, it is not your fault, and with the right support, you don’t have to face it alone.
