Shaun Lock

14/02/2026

Never forget the importance of caring for your inner child and be sure to let them out to play sometimes….

The wounded child inside many males is a boy who, when he first spoke his truths, was silenced by paternal sa**sm, by a patriarchal world that did not want him to claim his true feelings. The wounded child inside many females is a girl who was taught from early childhood that she must become something other than herself, deny her true feelings, in order to attract and please others. When men and women punish each other for truth telling, we reinforce the notion that lies are better. To be loving we willingly hear the other’s truth, and most important, we affirm the value of truth telling. Lies may make people feel better, but they do not help them to know love. ~bell hooks

*details of the book and painting in the comments

09/02/2026

This is wonderful example of how transformative it can be to be open to engaging in therapy…..

23/01/2026

You’re Not Stuck. You’re Between Versions of Yourself.

Feeling stuck is one of the most uncomfortable states a person can be in. It feels like failure, like time is passing and you are somehow doing it wrong. You look around and everyone else appears to be moving forward, deciding things, building lives, while you seem paused in place.

But what if being stuck is not the problem?

What we often call “stuck” is actually a transition without a clear name. One version of you no longer works, but the next one has not yet taken shape. Old goals feel empty. Old motivations no longer pull you forward. Yet nothing new has fully claimed you either. That gap feels frightening because it is unfamiliar.

Modern life has very little tolerance for this phase. We admire progress, reinvention, and momentum. We do not admire uncertainty. We expect people to move smoothly from one chapter to the next, as if growth should be efficient and uninterrupted. In reality, the most meaningful changes usually come with a period of confusion, slowing down, and loss of direction.

This is why advice often feels useless at times like these. You are told to push harder, stay positive, make a decision, be grateful, or “just choose something.” But transitions cannot be forced. Pressure does not create clarity. What is needed instead is space, patience, and the courage to sit with not knowing yet.

When you are between versions of yourself, your energy changes. Urgency fades. Drive softens. The things that once mattered no longer hold the same power. This is not laziness. It is recalibration. Something deeper is quietly deciding what deserves your effort next.

Many people escape this phase too quickly. They cling to old patterns, familiar roles, or borrowed ambitions just to avoid the discomfort of uncertainty. They mistake motion for growth and stability for truth. But the cost of rushing through this stage is often living a life that no longer fits.

Growth does not always look like forward movement. Sometimes it looks like stillness. Sometimes it looks like doubt. Sometimes it looks like stepping back so that something more real can eventually take its place.

If you feel stuck, consider this gently. What if you are not lost at all, but unfinished? What if this pause is not a failure, but the quiet space where a truer version of your life is being formed?

Painting: 'Portrait of the painter Anton Peschka', 1909 by Egon Schiele

18/01/2026

Very true…

healing happens
when the lies stop.

20/11/2025

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.
Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.
Only a person who risks is free. ~Leo Buscaglia

19/11/2025

‘It’s totally normal to talk’ ❤️….

05/11/2025

Good thinking….

Noam Chomsky // "Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, it’s unlikely you will step up and take responsibility for making it so. If you assume that there’s no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there’s a chance you may contribute to making a better world. The choice is yours."

01/11/2025

This speaks to me of the nature of therapy, to work through challenging times, situations and feelings is embracing transformation and giving permission and freedom to growth

If I’ve learned anything from life, it’s that sometimes, the darkest times can bring us to the brightest places. I’ve learned that the most toxic people can teach us the most important lessons, that our most painful struggles can grant us the most necessary growth and that the most heartbreaking losses of friendship and love can make room for the most wonderful people. I’ve learned that what seems like a curse in the moment can actually be a blessing and that what seems like the end of the road is actually just the discovery that we are meant to travel down a different path. I’ve learned that no matter how difficult things seem, there is always hope. I’ve learned that no matter how powerless we feel or how horrible things seem, we can’t give up. We have to keep going. Even when it’s scary, even when all of our strength seems gone, we have to keep picking ourselves back up and moving forward, because whatever we’re battling in the moment, it will pass, and we will make it through. We’ve made it this far. We can make it through whatever comes next. ~Daniell Koepke

Book: Daring To Take Up Space https://amzn.to/48Np5IE

Painting: 'Olive Grove, Saint-Rémy', 1889 by Vincent van Gogh

03/10/2025

Wholeness or happiness, which would you choose?……

I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that—I don’t mind people being happy—but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It’s a really odd thing that we’re now seeing people saying “write down three things that made you happy today before you go to sleep” and “cheer up” and “happiness is our birthright” and so on. We’re kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position. It’s rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don’t teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say, “Quick! Move on! Cheer up!” I’d like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word “happiness” and to replace it with the word “wholeness.” Ask yourself, “Is this contributing to my wholeness?” and if you’re having a bad day, it is. ~Hugh Mackay

Book: The Good Life https://amzn.to/4nRYbTZ [ad]

08/09/2025

I have a couple of spaces available, feel free to message me on here or through my website colchestertherapy.co.uk for a free consultation…

05/09/2025

Absolutely….

“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.”— Carl Rogers•For more ﹋

31/08/2025

Important news…..

Thanks to Sushant Thapa