Tea with HB

23/10/2021

I’m disabled. What is your reaction to that? Pity? Sadness? Anger? Why? Disability has an awful representation but it’s not a bad word- or a bad thing! You shouldn't be ashamed about disability- but we should all be ashamed that we don't know enough about it! My new video ‘let’s talk about disability’ rewrites the narrative on ‘disabled’ as a negative word. Please watch & share! 💛

Let's talk about disability! Disabled people- wait, am I allowed to say disabled? Is that rude? Tea with HB is a safe space to learn, and to question!→ What ...

18/10/2021

Please Share 💕

For the longest time I didn’t realise I was disabled.

When I was ten, I was off-rolled from my school. This is when a school deliberately removes a student because they think that student will bring the grade average down, and it happens to ill children a lot. I spent more time out of school than in it, attending hospital appointments, or lying in bed, or sometimes just sitting and waiting for hours on end in A&E trying to figure out what the heck was going on, wondering if I was dying, sometimes hoping I would. I was only 10. That’s so much tinier than I felt at the time.

Despite being in so much pain I couldn’t walk some days, I carried on, taking my exams as a homeschooler, and enrolling in secondary school. On the second induction day, I was on crutches, to the confusion of many of my new peers. ‘What happened between today and yesterday?!’… well nothing. Nothing I could explain. Only that my foot hurt so much I couldn’t put weight on it anymore. Only that A&E wouldn’t give us a wheelchair so my Mum had to carry me there and back.

Throughout secondary I missed many lessons, I was bullied by teachers and students, but still I carried on. I did Silver DofE with the help of physiotherapy (bad idea), I took my GCSEs and cried through the pain in almost every exam.

And I think it was then when I realised I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t help being late every morning, and not handing my prep in on time every class. I couldn’t help being in pain, I couldn’t just ‘carry on’. But it wasn’t until college that I realised I didn’t have to. I started to think maybe, it wasn’t my fault after all. Because suddenly I was receiving help, acceptance, and compassion. Suddenly my problems weren’t impossible to deal with...

It was only easy to call myself a liar rather than disabled, because it was easier for other people to ignore my needs rather than to help. It was easier because it meant I was the problem, not my environment and certainly not the attitudes of those around me. But that’s not true. I’m a person, not a problem.

This is the Social Model of Disability. ☕️

Please share this post to raise awareness & prevent more children going through this torture.

02/09/2021

‘The problem here is morality, I think it is a crisis of empathy because one of the things that would help the climate crisis is if we redistributed resources’ - (isn't she just the most beautiful?!) 🍊

When it comes to the Climate Crisis, sharing really is caring. These words are from my latest podcast guest, philosophy graduate and climate activist Jaylene, and our conversation about online spaces and sustainability is a great episode to spark conversations! Listen with a friend and if you have thoughts on climate justice or how we can utilise our communities to help the planet, I want to hear from you! Send me an email: teawithhb@gmail.com and together, let’s brew a new reality 😘

🎠 LINK IN BIO 🎠
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31/08/2021

In a world where it is seemingly so simple to connect with each other, it is disheartening to see how disconnected we can be. From online abuse, to fake news, the tools that should empower us and connect us, are often used to divide us and pit us against one another. ⚡️

Connectivi-tea with Jaylene Mbararia, (an activist for social justice and sustainability, and a recent philosophy graduate) is out now! We talked about online activism, community based action, our current political system, and, of course, climate change.

This episode is the start of the Sustainabili-tea series I am working on for next year, and I want you to be involved! I know Jaylene’s perspective will spark some conversations, and if you have thoughts on climate justice or how we can utilise our communities to help the planet, I want to hear from you. Send me an email: teawithhb@gmail.com and together, let’s brew a new reality 😘

🎠 LINK IN BIO 🎠
💌 Communi-tea Newsletter
☕️ Listen to my Podcast
🎬 Subscribe on YouTube
🫖 Support me on Patreon (Bonus Episodes & More!)

30/08/2021

In July, I became a town councillor for and am currently campaigning to be elected onto the District Council! If you are interested in following my political journey, please follow .hb *🌻

I wasn’t sure whether to disclose my disability or not within the campaign. I don’t want a pity vote, but we desperately need representation. I am scared someone will accuse me of ‘faking it’, but even more scared that if I let that fear stop me, things will never change. I have never taken a picture in my wheelchair before. I have never wanted to document it. In addressing my own internalised ableism over this past year, I realised how much of a difference it would have made to my mindset, and health, and life, had I seen a young person using mobility aids in a capacity that wasn’t medicalised.

So, I was prepared to take the photos and hate them. I was ready to feel disappointed and ashamed… but I didn’t, and I don’t. Mobility aids do not mean failure, they mean freedom. I look at this picture and I don’t see someone bound or confined or stuck to a wheelchair. I see me, and just how far I have come 🌸

🌻 *This is a safe place for everyone and anyone who needs it, and I don’t want to exclude people by discussing the politics of the UK all the time, which is why I have made a separate account!

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27/08/2021

I used to think that my favourite season was autumn, when the leaves changed colour and beauty could be found even in death. And then I met my boyfriend whose favourite season is spring and he said it was because there is so much beauty in life and I thought perhaps he was right. He taught me to live in the moment and for a moment spring became my favourite season. Dewdrops on grass, and the daffodils, and him.

But the clouds this year told me my favourite season is summer. Not because of its beauty. Not because absence makes the heart grow fonder. But because the most beautiful things in life are feelings. And there is nothing quite like the feeling of hot sun on closed eyelids. I look forward to it every year.

‘Still, the sun was hot. Still, one got over things. Still, life had a way of adding day to day’ - Virginia Woolf, Mrs Dalloway

P.S these were the first photos I took when I could walk again after my operation, and put my hands above my head, and wear something other than pyjamas. I have never been more grateful for my body and its ability to heal despite everything 💛

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26/08/2021

Hey, how’ve you been? I've missed you! A lot is changing in the world, but one thing that remains the same is my love for tea (& you)

So tell me what you've been up to this summer?!

🌸 I’ve been recovering from my operation & starting physiotherapy again
🌸 My lovely boyfriend took me to a drive in movie theatre to watch Cruella and it was AMAZING!!!
🌸 One of my reels reached 40k views whilst I've been away?! And there are a few new faces here (hi!!!)
🌸 Taylor Swift announced the RED tracklist & joined TikTok!
🌸 My best friend moved to a new city and I am so proud of how they are jumping into new adventures!
🌸 I have had some of the most delicious meals ever (including an okonomiyaki burrito and the best BBQ of my life!) 🌯🍣🥞🍦

🎠 LINK IN BIO 🎠
💌 Communi-tea Newsletter
☕️ Listen to my Podcast
🎬 Subscribe on YouTube
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31/07/2021

Some Disability Facts for the end of 🌻

🦽 ‘Disabled’ is not a negative word, it is simply explaining the inaccess and limits we experience.
👓 Disability is not a monolith. We all have different opinions, appearances, and experiences, just like everyone else!
🏥 Not every disabled person receives good healthcare.
💀 Many often experience neglect and gaslighting in medical systems which can be fatal.
💊 Painkillers do not work for everyone!
💸 Not every disabled person receives financial help (and those that do often get very little)
⚖️ The process for accessing any help (medical, financial, social, etc) is dehumanising, exhausting, and inaccessible.

Please read my website, listen to my podcast, and check my other posts for information on these misunderstood issues 💛

As many of you who have been here a while will know, I like to take breaks from social media sometimes, partly for my health, partly to make time for other things, but also to show that hustle culture and burnout are not things to aspire to, and it is GOOD to rest! I wish I had known that earlier. You can't light others up if you are burnt out! So take care of yourself- it's not selfish :)

Thank you so so so much for every comment, kind message, share, and follow. I was seriously considering deleting this account but knowing so many people have appreciated my writing and art this month has really encouraged me. Lotsa love,
HB x

P.S my Patreon, Newsletter, & Tiktok will all still be active so you can stay in touch if you need anything! ☕️

30/07/2021

I was 10 years old when my pain first stopped me from moving, attending school, even getting to the loo without difficulty. I never knew there was a pain that existed that couldn't be healed. I knew heartbreak couldn't be fixed except with time. I knew the pain from somebody dying arrived in sharp stabs but eventually visited less often. I never knew that pain could come and never leave.

In the 10 years I have been suffering with debilitating chronic pain, I have not found a single medication that eases it. This seems to come as a shock, even to family or friends who have known me for years! They forget, they think I must be taking something to manage the pain. I am not. I cannot. Not only do painkillers not work for my pain, every single medication I have ever tried has given me some terrible side effect. I wish more people knew invisible, chronic, excruciating pain existed. I also wish they knew that it can't be cured, and sometimes it can't even be managed. I wish they knew that even when I am not saying it, even if I ‘look great’, I am always in pain.

Please, please, please share this post so more people can be aware. Another is coming to an end and many still have no idea of the difficulty some people have to face just to open their eyes in the morning. We deserve more understanding, we need to be treated with more respect, it is not right that to most people is an unfamiliar word ☕️

29/07/2021

I see people comparing disabilities a lot, and people with chronic illnesses are often told ‘oh at least you’re not…’ or ‘it could be worse!’ which are just really unhelpful comments. 🚫
Physical, Mental, Invisible, Visible, Permanent, Temporary, Dynamic, Consistent, no disability is ‘worse’ than another, they are all valid and difficult to deal with in their own ways. 🎠
Some disabled people are seen as ‘inspirational’ and ‘palatable’ whilst others are seen as ‘lazy’ and ‘scroungers’. No matter what, the effect is the same: lack of respect, understanding, and care. 😞
This isn’t just about disabled people though! The same comparison and negative impact happens all over the world, especially online, no mater who you are. It’s everyone’s responsibility to rewrite the narrative! I created Tea with HB to combat the damaging effects of systems and things that make us feel we are not enough. To express that your worth cannot be defined by anyone or anything: we are all inherently valuable and unique 🌸
And, like a cup of tea, it takes time to become the best version of ourselves! So give yourself a break, grab a cozy blanket, tune into my podcast, and together, let’s brew a new reality! ☕️

If you've been a listener for some time, please share this post to your story to let more people find out about my podcast :)

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28/07/2021

Have you listened to Intersectionali-tea yet?

Disability is the only marginalised identity that intersects with EVERY other identity! I can't believe we are still having to justify our existence, fight for equal rights, and convince people that is a real thing 🥵

Season 2 of Tea with HB is almost over, and right now I am not 100% certain I will make another season. At the moment even social media feels like a lot, but I think that is to do with because it is so hard for me to constantly talk about the inequality disabled people experience and feel like I am shouting into a void! How are you all feeling? ☀️

💭 Would you prefer more videos (YouTube, Reels, TikTok) rather than more podcasts?