AuSends Network

20/01/2026

Over the last couple of days, there have been news reports about parents of disabled children ‘getting paid’ to transport their children to school in England. Contact is concerned that this completely misrepresents the situation and risks fuelling resentment. Strict criteria Anna Bird, Chief Exe...

20/01/2026

19/01/2026

19/01/2026

This!!

I’m autistic, and being asked to have a shower
can feel like you’ve just asked me to find world peace.
Because it’s not just a shower.
It’s the temperature change.
The noise.
The transition from dry to wet to dry again.
The interruption to whatever little stability
I was holding onto.

I’m autistic,
and going to the supermarket
is not “just popping out.”
It means preparing myself
mentally and emotionally.
I need to know the time.
I need to know how busy it will be.
I need to know where I’m going,
what I’m buying,
how long it will take.
And if it’s too busy, too loud, too bright,
I might have to leave halfway through
or come back another day
not because I don’t want food,
but because my body is in survival mode.

I’m autistic,
and I eat safe foods.
The same foods.
Over and over.
Because unfamiliar textures, smells, or tastes
can make my nervous system revolt.
It’s not stubbornness.
It’s self-preservation.

I’m autistic,
and phone calls feel overwhelming.
I rehearse what I’m going to say.
I panic about being misunderstood.
I put them off until they become heavier
than the call itself.

I’m autistic,
and plans changing at the last minute
can knock the wind out of me.
Even if the new plan is “better.”
My brain had already built a map,
and now I’m lost.

I’m autistic,
and small tasks can feel impossibly big.
Starting is the hardest part.
Finishing can take everything I have.
Not because I can’t do it, because the steps don’t line up neatly in my head.

I’m autistic,
and I have ADHD.
My brain lives in constant push–pull.
My ADHD wants novelty, stimulation, movement.
My autism needs routine, predictability, calm.
One part of me is shouting “GO,”
the other is begging for stillness.
And some days, I can’t tell which way is left
and which way is up.

I have time blindness.
I underestimate how long things take.
I forget things I care deeply about.
I lose track of my body’s needs until hunger or exhaustion hits like a wall.

I struggle with transitions,
from rest to action,
from home to outside,
from one thought to another.
I struggle with being perceived.
With eye contact.
With small talk that feels anything but small.

I mask.
I script.
I perform “fine”
when inside I’m managing noise, light, emotion, expectation all at once.

I’m autistic.
I have ADHD.
This is not a phase.
It’s not something I’ll grow out of.
It’s not something love or discipline will erase.

It’s not laziness.
It’s not defiance.
It’s not me being difficult on purpose.

It’s not personal.

It’s just me.
I may not Look anything, but I’m autistic and have ADHD.

Michaela

18/01/2026

Autistic Girls & Masking: the cost of “coping”

So many autistic girls aren’t recognised until much later, often not until secondary school, or adulthood.

Not because they don’t struggle.
But because they learn to cope.

Or at least, to look like they are.

Masking is what happens when an autistic person hides their natural responses in order to be accepted. For girls, that often looks like copying others, forcing eye contact, rehearsing conversations in their head, mirroring facial expressions, staying very still, very quiet, very “good”.

From the outside, everything appears fine.

“She’s no trouble.”
“She’s doing okay.”
“She’s quiet and gets on with her work.”

But what’s happening underneath is rarely calm.

Many autistic girls hold it together all day, only to unravel once they’re safe. The exhaustion, the anxiety, the overwhelm -it all comes out at home. Meltdowns. Shutdowns. Tears over nothing and everything. Bodies that ache. Minds that won’t switch off.

Looking fine comes at a cost.

Masking isn’t a skill to celebrate. It’s a survival strategy. And over time, it can lead to chronic anxiety, burnout, depression, disordered eating, loss of self, and being misunderstood or misdiagnosed. Often as “just anxious”. Or “overly sensitive”. Or “difficult”.

The message they absorb is a painful one:

Who you are is too much.

Hide it.

And the cruel irony is this -the better they mask, the more likely they are to be missed. No support. No adjustments. No understanding. Just expectations to keep performing.

In education, we need to be careful about praising quiet compliance without asking what it costs.

Silence is not the same as wellbeing.

Girls who don’t shout, disrupt or refuse are still struggling. They’re just doing it quietly.

Things worth noticing:

• utter exhaustion after school
• perfectionism and people-pleasing
• copying socially without real connection
• frequent headaches or stomach aches
• a sense that the child is “acting” rather than being

Real support doesn’t start with behaviour charts or waiting for a crisis.

It starts with belief.

Believing children when they say something feels hard, even when the grades are fine and the smile appears on cue.

Giving permission to unmask.

Making space for quiet, for movement, for difference.

Reducing social pressure.

Meeting needs because they exist, not because a label has been issued.

Support isn’t only for visible distress.
It’s for the invisible effort some children are putting in just to get through the day.

We need to stop measuring wellbeing by how things look and start asking better questions.

Because being “fine” should never have to be a full-time performance.

Photo: Numbers 2, 3 and 4 visiting Coalbrookdale

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
♾️

18/01/2026

https://nationalneurodiversityshows.com/product/book-wales-show-2026/

18/01/2026

18/01/2026

We know that some of you will currently be taking part in engagement events around the Government's proposed SEND reforms.

To make life a little easier, we've put together a guide to help you when speaking with decision makers - to show them why PDA children need to be taken into account alongside any SEND reforms.

You can download it from our website here: https://ow.ly/glzL50XU6TR

18/01/2026

What are the Four Areas of Need?

The Four Areas of Need come from the SEND Code of Practice. They help explain how a child needs support and in what area.

These are the four areas…..

1️⃣ Communication & Interaction

How a child communicates, understands others, and manages social interactions

2️⃣ Cognition & Learning

How a child learns, processes, and understands information.

3️⃣ Social, Emotional & Mental Health (SEMH)

How a child manages emotions, behaviour, anxiety, and mental health.

4️⃣ Sensory & Physical

How a child moves and experiences sensory input (noise, touch, movement, light) plus any physical difficulties

Important to know….

A child can have needs in any of the four areas.
Some children have needs in all four, Others may have needs in one or two.

That’s exactly why it pi**es me off when professionals say things like….

“Oh, but Bob is so clever? He’s working above expectations! he does not need extra support.”
When poor Bob is struggling in other areas.

Bob being academically able does not cancel out his needs. Bob could be years ahead of his peers academically, and still have significant sensory need & communication difficulties.

That’s where the idea of a “spiky profile” comes from but I’ll touch base on that another day.

These four areas should form the foundation of SEN support and EHCPs, as set out in the SEND Code of Practice.

It’s on page 97 - point 6.27 onwards (linked in comments for you detectives 😉 ) 🕵️

Xx

18/01/2026

💔 When Schools Say “Just Stay Until Break’ Teaches a Young Person They’re Not Safe to Trust 💔

One of the fastest ways to destroy trust with an anxious or autistic young person is this:

“Just come in until break.”
“Just come for the morning.”
“Just do a half day and then you can go home.”

They dig deep.
They use every ounce of courage they’ve got.
They walk through those doors, because they were promised it would be safe and finite.🙏🏼

And then…

“Oh actually, can you just stay a bit longer?”
“You seem settled now, let’s keep going”
“We’ll see how you go…”

To a nervous system already in survival mode, that doesn’t feel like encouragement 😰

It feels like a trap.

Here’s the bit adults often miss:

For autistic people- young and older, trust is everything.

They are not being ‘awkward’
They are not being ‘manipulative’
They are not ‘testing boundaries’

They are believing you. Literally!

So when a school or parent/carer goes back on their word, what the young person learns isn’t:

“I coped longer than I thought.” ❌

They learn:

“I’m not safe to believe you.” 😔
“Adults say things to get me through the door.”😣
“If I go in, I might not be allowed to leave.”😢

And next time?

Next time they can’t make themselves go in.Because their body remembers.

Then we get:
• More panic
• More shutdown
• More “school is impossible”

Not because they’re being difficult.

But because their trust was broken💔

If you want to build trust, confidence and regulation:

✨ Keep your word
✨Include the young person in setting small manageable steps
✨ Make leaving predictable and safe
✨ Let the young person be in control of the exit
✨ Show them repeatedly that you mean what you say

Because safety isn’t built through pressure and unpredictably.

It’s built through consistency, honesty, and trust.

And once that trust is gone?

It takes a very long time to rebuild. 💔

Patsy x💜💙

18/01/2026