Held SEN Support Space

16/03/2026

The only preschool assessment that really matters:

Do children enjoy coming to preschool?

Do they feel safe?
Do they feel understood?
Do they feel free to be themselves?

Because when children feel happy, secure and valued…

✨ They play
✨ They explore
✨ They learn

Early years is not about pushing children faster.

It’s about giving them the confidence, joy and security that learning grows from.

And sometimes the biggest success of the day is simply this:

A child who can’t wait to come back tomorrow.

16/03/2026

16/03/2026

Children spend much of their lives learning how to move through a world that evaluates them.

At school they are graded.
In sports they are ranked.
Among peers they are measured by popularity, ability, and belonging.

Very quickly, they begin to absorb the quiet message that love and acceptance are something to be earned.

Which is why every child needs at least one place where that message does not exist.

A place where their worth is not tied to performance.
Where mistakes do not threaten connection.
Where they do not have to make themselves smaller or different to remain loved.

Because when a child knows that kind of safety, something important happens.

They stop spending their energy proving they deserve to belong.

They begin to relax into themselves.
To speak more freely.
To explore the world without the constant fear of losing love.

And from that place of security, children grow in ways that no amount of pressure could ever produce.

Because the deepest growth does not come from trying to earn love.

It comes from knowing it is already there. ❤️

16/03/2026

When a child is overwhelmed, what they need most is not correction; it’s regulation.

During big emotional moments, a child’s brain shifts into survival mode. The part of the brain responsible for reasoning, problem solving, and listening temporarily goes offline, while the nervous system activates the fight, flight, or freeze response.

In that state, children are not trying to be difficult; their brain is simply focused on safety.

This is why lectures, punishments, or logic rarely work in the middle of a meltdown. The brain has to feel SAFE before it can learn.

This is where our words become incredibly powerful.

Simple phrases like:
“I’m right here with you,”
“You’re safe with me,”
“Let’s take a slow breath together”

send signals of safety to a child’s nervous system.

When children hear calm, supportive language, their body can begin to move out of stress mode and back toward regulation. This process is called co-regulation.

Young children are not born knowing how to regulate their emotions. Their nervous system develops through repeated experiences of being supported by a calm and connected adult.

Over time, these moments shape the brain. They teach children how to understand their emotions, calm their body, and handle stress in healthier ways.

These 12 phrases are simple tools you can use to help children feel safe, supported, and regulated during difficult moments.

Because the calm voice children borrow from us today eventually becomes the calm voice they carry inside themselves. 💕💕

16/03/2026

✨ Celebrating Early Years Practitioners — The Quiet Champions of Childhood ✨

Children spend so much of their day navigating expectations, rules and social pressures. Many learn very early how to “mask” their feelings, hide their worries, or behave in ways they think adults expect.

That is why early years environments matter so deeply.

In the right environment — one supported by skilled Early Years Practitioners — children can finally exhale. They can drop the masks they carry, explore freely, take risks in their play, express big emotions, and simply be themselves.

Some people underestimate the role of early years practitioners as simply “watching children until it’s time to go home.”

But anyone who has watched skilled practitioners at work knows it is so much more than that.

They create environments where:
• children feel safe and accepted
• curiosity is encouraged
• imagination can flourish
• friendships form naturally
• emotions are expressed and understood

Early Years Practitioners protect something incredibly important — children’s right to play.

Their work is thoughtful, skilled and deeply valuable. It requires patience, understanding and a real respect for children as individuals.

These spaces must be protected.

Because when children are given the freedom to play without judgement, they show us who they really are.

And that is where the real magic of childhood lives.

Let’s celebrate our Early Years Practitioners — and the vital role they play in nurturing confident, resilient and authentic young people.

🌱

15/03/2026

A HELD-style post: “Fibromyalgia Reality”

✨ Fibromyalgia Reality

One of the hardest things about fibromyalgia is that people often only see the moments when you are managing.

They see you smiling.
They see you showing up.
They see you getting through the day.

What they don’t see is the aftermath.

The exhaustion that feels like it runs through your bones.
The headaches that won’t shift.
The aching joints, burning muscles, and the fog that makes even simple things feel overwhelming.

Living with fibromyalgia often means carefully choosing which moments are worth the energy you have.

Many parents living with chronic illness make that choice every day — because the love for their children and families is bigger than the limits their body places on them.

And that kind of strength often goes unseen.

✨ HELD — supporting parents who carry more than people realise.

That’s one of the hardest parts — a lot of it is invisible. People often see us on the good days, but not the recovery afterwards.

15/03/2026

✨ The quiet price some mums pay ✨

Today I had a wonderful Mother’s Day with my children and grandchildren. My heart is full.

But as someone living with fibromyalgia, I also know what comes next.

When you live with chronic illness, even the most beautiful days can come with a cost. We often push through because the moments matter so much — but our bodies remember.

Tonight the aftermath has arrived.

The exhaustion that feels like it runs through your bones.
The banging headache that won’t ease.
Pain everywhere — my hips throbbing, my knees aching, even the bottoms of my feet hurting.
The fibro fog, the heaviness, the sense that your body has completely burnt out.

This is something many people with fibromyalgia know well — the payback that comes after pushing yourself just a little too far.

And yet… I would still choose the day again.
Because the laughter, the hugs, and the memories with the people we love are worth so much.

But tonight is also a reminder that living with chronic illness means constantly balancing joy with recovery.

So if you’re another mum sitting quietly tonight, completely wiped out after doing your best today — please know you’re not alone.

You showed up.
You made memories.
You gave love.

And sometimes, with chronic illness, that takes more strength than people realise. 💛

14/03/2026

HELD SEN Support

“When the system says you’re fine… but your body says otherwise.”

This week I received the decision on my PIP application.

I scored zero points.

Zero.

Despite living with fibromyalgia, chronic pain and chronic fatigue, the assessment decided that none of this significantly affects my daily life.

Anyone who lives with chronic illness knows how painful that kind of decision can feel.

Because the reality is this:
You learn to keep going.

You push through the pain.
You keep showing up for your children.
You still make the school run.
You still cook, clean, organise appointments and fight battles for your child’s support.

But the system often mistakes survival for being well.

Many SEN parents and carers are living with their own health challenges while supporting children with additional needs. The invisible effort it takes to keep everything moving can be enormous.

So if you’ve ever been told “you don’t qualify” when you know how hard your days really are, please hear this:

A refusal is not the end of the process.

Many PIP decisions are changed at mandatory reconsideration or tribunal once more information is considered.

And more importantly — a decision letter does not define your experience or your strength.

Behind many strong SEN parents is a body that is tired, hurting, and still showing up.

And that deserves recognition.

You are not alone in this.

💛

14/03/2026

Starting school and still in nappies — what parents are rarely told

Every year, as September approaches, I hear the same quiet worry from parents.

“My child is starting school… but they’re still in nappies.”

For many families this brings huge anxiety.

Parents worry their child will be refused a place.
They worry they will be judged.
They worry their child will be the only one.

But here is something many parents are rarely told.

Children do not have to be fully toilet trained to start school.

Some children need longer to develop toileting skills, particularly if they have:

• sensory sensitivities
• developmental differences
• medical needs
• anxiety around the bathroom environment

For these children, learning to use the toilet may happen during Reception rather than before it.

Reception teachers see this far more often than people realise.

Schools also have a responsibility to support children who need help with personal care, especially where developmental needs or additional support is involved.

Starting school is already a huge transition for young children.

New classrooms.
New adults.
New routines.
New expectations.

For some children, mastering toileting at the same time simply feels too much.

And that’s okay.

Children reach milestones in their own time.

The goal is not rushing them to meet a deadline.

The goal is helping them feel safe, confident and supported as they grow.

So if your child is starting school and still in nappies, please hear this:

You are not alone.
You are not behind.
And your child’s journey is still unfolding.

You are HELD here.

💛
— Cathy

14/03/2026

When a child refuses the toilet — and school is getting closer

A mum reached out to me recently with a worry many parents carry quietly.

Her little boy is four years old and due to start school in September.

But there is one challenge that is causing huge anxiety.

He will not sit on the toilet.
He will not use a potty.
And he will not go without a nappy.

She has followed the advice from the health visitor.
She has tried encouragement, routine and patience.

But her child simply says no.

With school getting closer, the worry is growing.

I want to gently reassure parents who may be in this position.

Toilet refusal at this age is more common than people realise.

For some children the issue isn’t about learning the skill.

It is about how their nervous system experiences the toilet environment.

Bathrooms can feel overwhelming for sensitive children.

The sounds, the space, the change in routine, the loss of the familiar nappy — all of this can feel too much.

Sometimes what looks like stubbornness is actually a child protecting themselves from something that feels uncomfortable or unsafe.

Children develop these skills when their body and brain feel ready.

And for some children, that timeline is simply different.

The most important thing parents can do is remove pressure and focus on building confidence slowly.

Many children who refuse the toilet at four suddenly become ready weeks or months later — sometimes even after starting school.

So if you are worrying about nappies and school starting soon, please hear this:

You are not failing.

Your child is not being difficult.

They are simply moving at their own developmental pace.

And like so many childhood milestones, this one often arrives when the child finally feels safe enough to try.

You are HELD here.

💛
— Cathy

14/03/2026

🌿 The invisible battles SEND parents fight before the school day even begins

For many families, the school day begins with a quick breakfast, a packed bag and the rush out the door.

But for some parents, the real work of the day begins hours earlier.

Long before the classroom doors open.

Behind closed doors, many SEND parents are already navigating battles most people never see.

A child who hasn’t slept all night.

A body clock that simply will not align with school mornings.

A young person whose nervous system is overwhelmed before the day has even started.

Sometimes there are tears.

Sometimes exhaustion.

Sometimes a child who simply cannot get up because their body feels too heavy or their mind too foggy.

Parents try everything.

Gentle encouragement.
Patience.
Firm boundaries.
New routines.
More alarms.
Different strategies.

And still, some mornings feel impossible.

Then comes the next layer.

Attendance letters.
Phone calls.
Questions from school.

And the quiet fear that others may think this is simply a lack of discipline or effort.

But the truth is often very different.

Many children facing these struggles live with neurodevelopmental differences, medical conditions, or sleep disorders that make mornings extraordinarily difficult.

Parents in these situations are not ignoring the problem.

They are living it, every single day.

They are advocating for support.
Searching for answers.
Holding their children through the hardest mornings.

And still trying to help them find a path into education.

These battles are rarely visible.

But they are very real.

So if your mornings sometimes feel like climbing a mountain before the day has even begun, please know this:

Your effort matters.

Your love is visible in every small step forward.

And you are not walking this road alone.

You are HELD here.

💛
— Cathy

14/03/2026

🌿 When a child is struggling… and the system struggles to help

A mum reached out to me recently feeling completely exhausted.

Her son is 13 and lives with ADHD and autism.
He also has a serious sleep disorder which is now affecting his ability to attend school regularly.

Like many parents in this situation, she has been trying to do everything right.

She contacted the GP.
She tried to access specialist services.
She previously attended a sleep clinic — but the service has now closed.

CAMHS declined the referral.
Another hospital said he was “out of area.”
The GP sent a text response rather than offering clear guidance.

Meanwhile, the school is questioning his attendance.

And the mum is left in the middle of it all — trying to support her child while navigating a system that feels impossible to understand.

Sadly, this situation is far more common than people realise.

Many neurodivergent young people experience severe sleep disruption, especially during the teenage years.
And when sleep breaks down, everything else becomes harder:

• school attendance
• concentration
• emotional regulation
• physical wellbeing

Parents are often left feeling like they are fighting on multiple fronts at once.

Trying to get medical support.
Trying to reassure the school.
Trying to hold their child together.

And doing all of this while carrying the quiet worry:

“Am I failing my child?”

But the truth is this.

These parents are not failing.

They are advocating, pushing for help, and refusing to give up on their children.

That takes enormous strength.

Behind many attendance struggles is not a lack of care.

It is a family doing everything they can while waiting for the system to catch up.

If you are a parent living this reality, please know this:

You are not alone.
Your child is not the problem.
And your persistence matters more than you realise.

You are HELD here.

💛
— Cathy