Michele Willmott

Michele Willmott Couples and Mens Crisis Coach & Mentor for High Achievers. Radically Transform Your Relationship. Creator of the Profound Permission Method™.

Training Select Coaches in Energetic Mastery. Book A Call: https://michelewillmott.as.me/relationshipmentoring Relationship Mentor for Women & Couples. Creating real relationships. Where you feel fully accepted &deeply loved for who you are. No games, no having to hide. Find Michele at http://michelewillmott.co.uk

⭐ You’re Not “Walking On Egg Shells” With Your Partner. You are 'Performing' Safety.Most people don't realise that they ...
07/12/2025

⭐ You’re Not “Walking On Egg Shells” With Your Partner. You are 'Performing' Safety.

Most people don't realise that they are doing this, half the time they are experiencing their relationship by way of words in their head, and the body ends up having no choice but to follow.

They think they are walking on eggshells with their partner.
Or they are just trying to keep the peace.

But what they are actually doing is performing safety.

Soothing their voice so their partner won’t react.
Choosing words carefully so as not to cause conflict.
Softening their truth.
Not taking up space.
Trying to be easy.
Managing the emotional atmosphere at all times.
Yes, even being caring, kind and empathetic.

This isn’t really or fear, although it can create anxiety and is always rooted in a deeper fear.

Really it is your system trying to prevent that fear from happening; staying alert, prepared, and “on” so nothing destabilising happens.

It’s people pleasing to try and create harmony.
It’s future anticipation of discomfort you don't want to have to face.
It’s your nervous system performing safety instead of you actually creating safety from within.

Performing safety disconnects you from your partner more than conflict ever will.
Because the moment you perform, the relationship becomes a performance too.

The shift needed?

Stop performing. Start revealing.

Intimacy doesn’t grow through management and performance.
It grows through truth and through knowing how to let your system soften enough that your partner can actually feel you.

The One Foot in and One Foot Out Energy That Kills IntimacyA common pattern I see in relationships isn’t conflict.It’s a...
07/12/2025

The One Foot in and One Foot Out Energy That Kills Intimacy

A common pattern I see in relationships isn’t conflict.
It’s ambivalence rooted in a lack of integrity and inauthentic desire.

The quiet, subtle, almost invisible posture of being half in and half out.

A kind of:

“I want closeness…
but I’m scared of what that closeness requires.”

“I want intimacy…
but I don’t want to feel what’s underneath my numbness.”

“I want desire to return…
but I don’t want to face the truth of why it left.”

This is the energy of one foot in, one foot out.

It looks like:

- staying for the family, the stability, the familiarity

- hoping desire will magically reappear

- outsourcing the work to the partner (if he/she changes then it and I will be ok)

- avoiding the deeper truth because it feels too disruptive

- keeping an unseen exit door cracked open “just in case”

What most people don’t realise:

You can’t create real intimacy from a part-time position in your own relationship.

When the body is in ambivalence, it cannot open.
It cannot desire.
It cannot trust.
It cannot deepen.

And when you are not in integrity with yourself, when you know you are half in and half out but pretend you are fully committed, the relationship becomes heavier than it needs to be.
Misalignment with integrity will always create more struggle, more confusion, and more distance.

Half-in energy is a coping mechanism, not a relational posture.

Desire returns when you step fully into your own truth, not when you wait to see if your partner can make you feel something again.

Intimacy begins the moment you decide
to put both feet in…
or stop pretending you have.

If you don't know EXACTLY what to do with your relationship triggers then that's not how it should be!You have been dupe...
05/12/2025

If you don't know EXACTLY what to do with your relationship triggers then that's not how it should be!

You have been duped by society into thinking that your 'negative' feelings and triggers are a problem and that they need fixing.

They need working WITH not worked away.

Big difference.

The former keeps the status quo in your relationship in play.
The latter dismantles the reactivity that comes from the trigger.

Knowing how to do this is one of the most valuable skills you will ever develop, because the moment you transform your relationship with your triggers, every area of your life begins to shift.

WHY?

Because triggers are inevitable.
Your response to them is not.

You managing them and trying to talk yourself round or 'feel' them and then not know what to do next is f**cked up...not because you are wrong or bad, but purely because you like everyone else gets hooked into believing the dominant narratives are correct and 'right'.

What a pile of crap!

You are far more powerful than you realise, you are just scared to go there because you mind is giving you all kinds of reasons to stay where you are....oh yes, in relationship hell more than you care to admit.

I realise my relationship coaching and mentoring often prices some people out of my work, however, you can do this work for yourself with varying levels of support...when you DM me.

Take the step…
Or keep repeating the same patterns while I continue living the harmony, depth, connection and fun I once hoped existed and now experience because I simply chose to back myself.

This isn’t to shame you.
It’s a wake-up call:
What exactly are you waiting for?

Trying to fix your relationship becomes part of the relationship’s dysfunction.Trying to escape the pattern keeps the pa...
05/12/2025

Trying to fix your relationship becomes part of the relationship’s dysfunction.
Trying to escape the pattern keeps the pattern intact.
Trying to control your partner collapses the polarity that was meant to hold you together.

Withdrawal happens when your partner feels managed.
Reactivity happens when you feel misunderstood or criticised.
The whole system destabilises when “efforting” becomes the strategy.

This is how couples end up in the endless loop:

Conflict → tool → backfire → more tools → more conflict → panic → collapse.

The common thread?

Effort-energy. TRYING.
Trying to control outcomes, emotions, tone, timing, behaviour.
Trying to grip what feels unsafe.
Trying to micromanage connection.

And then the self-help clichés roll in:

'Let it go. Just relax. Don’t be so anxious. Surrender. Accept them'.

It’s almost comedic… if it didn’t feel so insulting.

You can’t “let go” when a part of you is living in survival.
You can’t “relax” when a deeper system in you is bracing.
You can’t “just accept” when your inner state of being is destabilised.

So what does create change?

Stabilising the internal system that is driving the relational dynamic.
Safety work.
Precision work.
The work that shifts the energy you are relating from, not the tools you are trying to layer on top.

This is where everything changes from the root up....and all because you finally stepped out of YOUR pattern that was running the whole show.

The Couples who have the Capacity to Go Way Beyond the Norm Will Have Three Things in Common...Some dynamics are primed ...
03/12/2025

The Couples who have the Capacity to Go Way Beyond the Norm Will Have Three Things in Common...

Some dynamics are primed for transformation.
Others are fighting uphill against the nature of the bond itself.

⭐ THE COUPLES WHO THRIVE
The couples who can go way beyond the norm will have three things in common:

1. Sexual chemistry
The unmistakable YES that your body recognised very early on in the relationship.

When that chemistry exists at the root, you are not trying to manufacture desire, you are working with something real.

2. Shared values + similar worldview
Not identical.
Not perfect alignment.
But a shared sense of what matters, what’s sacred, and how you want to live.
When two people walk in the same direction internally, the relationship has a real spine.

3. Two fundamentally decent people who WANT to show up
Not flawless.
Just decent.
Two humans willing to be honest, responsible, and better than their patterns.

This trio makes the relationship highly workable.

⭐ THE SITUATIONS THAT MAKE REPAIR HARDER (AND Sometimes Impossible)
Not because the people are bad but because the field itself is compromised.

1. Lack of sexual chemistry
You can build safety. You can build communication.
But you cannot build desire.
If the chemistry was never there, the polarity usually collapses faster than the tools can rebuild it.

2. Addiction (especially alcohol and w**d)
This one is brutal to say.
Alcohol erodes emotional presence.
W**d might seem to “calm your nervous system", but it dampens perception, dulls responsiveness, and lowers relational capacity.
If one partner is numbing, the relationship is unequal.

You cannot create the future with someone who refuses to be fully here.

3. History of physical or sexual abuse
A relationship CAN heal through trauma, but it requires both people committed to repair, safety, and deep work.
Without that level of commitment, the trauma hijacks the dynamic.

4. Being ignored, stonewalled or ghosted
This is a powerplay and often abusive.
Silence is emotional violence when used as power.
Especially when you are doing your work, owning your triggers, and showing up cleanly (remember most people are not showing up cleanly).

A relationship cannot evolve when:
one person is responsible and the other hides, or punishes or collapses, or makes you responsible for their feelings.
Temporary shutdown? That’s human.
Patterned shutdown? That’s sabotage.

⭐ THE TRUTH - Love is not enough.
The relationships that can transform are the ones where both people:
Take full responsibility.
Are willing to feel uncomfortable and stay in the room emotionally.
Are willing to tell the truth (I don't mean hide behind their opinions).

And the relationships I am willing to take on are the ones that meet the three core qualities at the top because that is where transformation becomes inevitable, not forced.

If you are craving your next level in your relationship please feel free to message me.

Your relationship with your triggers is the relationship that decides whether your love life evolves or repeats.Most peo...
27/11/2025

Your relationship with your triggers is the relationship that decides whether your love life evolves or repeats.

Most people misread their triggers:
• They hold their partner responsible for them
• They manage or suppress them
• They assume something is wrong with them

All three are misunderstandings of what a trigger actually is.
A trigger is not a flaw.
It is the moment your old identity tries to resurrect itself.

Most people collapse, perform, defend, or withdraw, not because the trigger is “too much,” but because the internal state driving their reactions has not dissolved yet.

This is where passive aggression often enters the room.
It looks like control to the person using it, and feels like intimidation to the person receiving it.
It provokes fear, not connection.
And it happens when the identity tightens its grip to survive.

BUT when your body has been retrained, this all changes.
A trigger becomes a pivot point.
A moment where truth moves faster than your pattern.
A moment where you can turn on a dime not from reactivity, but from precision.

This is where REAL MAGNETISM is created.

Not from performance.
Not from trying to be “loving.”

But from the energy that emerges once your old identity dissolves.

Your trigger response decides whether you:
• collapse back into the past
or
• create a new relational field in the present

That IS the choice.

Stay over-identified with the mind and you will keep recreating victimhood, blame, and protection.

Learn to use your triggers as the openings they are and they become the most reliable pathway into deeper connection, open and transparent communication, restored polarity, and genuine intimacy.

If you are ready to work at the level where your triggers become the portal into the relationship you actually want, send me a message and we will explore your next steps.
6-month individuals.
3, 9, 12-month couples.

25/11/2025

Trying to change your partner Vs Being an inspiration for change: completely different energies!

Stop visualising your ideal relationship.You create your desired relationship scenarios BEFORE they show up.You don't cr...
21/11/2025

Stop visualising your ideal relationship.

You create your desired relationship scenarios BEFORE they show up.

You don't create from your mind. You create from your body.
Always.

Visualisation collapses under pressure because it relies on future convincing, and creation never happens in the future.

You only ever create from the identity you’re in now, which is why repeating the old identity repeats the old relationship patterns.

And when that identity starts to collapse, there will be emotional fallout because part of you is dying.

This is where your inner boundaries and your internal power are tested.

This is the moment my clients walk into willingly.
They know the battle was never with their partner...

It was ALWAYS self vs self.

And they win, because they are willing to lose the identity that keeps recreating the same dynamics over and over.

6-month individuals.
3, 9, 12-month couples.
If you are ready to work at the level where identity collapses and creation actually begins, reach out.

Why I Chose Not to Settle for a “Good” Marriage!..Because I wanted a husband who leads intentionally, not just coexists....
20/11/2025

Why I Chose Not to Settle for a “Good” Marriage!..Because I wanted a husband who leads intentionally, not just coexists.

People are often surprised when I share that my marriage hit a crisis point, because it didn’t look like one from the outside.

There was no betrayal, no 'big' issues, no lack of intimacy.

I was the one who initiated the crisis.

Our relationship was for the most part loving and supportive, BUT it was slowly dimming.

The intimacy, polarity, and aliveness were quietly eroding, the kind of subtle decline most couples accept as “normal.”

In the moments I stopped tolerating “good enough” and voiced that something that I wanted more, everything shook.

It made things more uncomfortable before it got better.

When you no longer settle for a relationship that looks good and is good in many ways, but isn’t fulfilling you on the deeper levels, it shakes the parts you have both avoided seeing.

Most people normalise the quiet decline:
“This is just what happens after years together.”
“All couples bicker.”
“Intimacy fades.”
“What's wrong with being best friends.”

And if that genuinely works for both people, then that's ok.
But ignoring it comes with a cost.

The slow erosion of intimacy and emotional connection often leads to anxiety, resentment, disconnection, or a roommate-style partnership that functions, but doesn’t nourish either person.

I wasn’t willing to live like that.
I could feel a very specific desire within me, a longing for a different quality of masculinity than the one we were living with at the time.
Not forceful or domineering.
But decisive, emotionally grounded, present, and leading with intention.

I didn’t want to be the emotional manager, the initiator, or the one holding the vision for “us.”
I didn’t want to nag for intimacy, connection, or consideration because I felt it was missing.

I wanted a relationship where:
- the masculine feels alive through leading with presence, clarity, and direction.
- the feminine feels safe to soften, express, and rest her nervous system.
Where we evolve together, not drift apart

This isn’t about men being dominant or women being passive.
It’s about both partners thriving.

A relationship becomes magnetic when each person feels met, and the partnership becomes an ever-unfolding adventure.
Not perfect. But alive.

Looking back, my desire for “more” wasn’t dissatisfaction or unrealistic expectations.
It was intelligence. It was an innate knowing that societal conditioning is creating passivity in many men and over functioning and micromanaging in many women....this is not an attractive dynamic.

I was able to transform my relationship and take it onto a whole new level because I was willing to face my discomfort.

Your fear, sadness, loneliness, anxiety are ALL an opportunity to create more of what you want.

If it is time to stop managing your feelings and start claiming MORE of what you really want, DM me to explore options.

17/11/2025

🌑✨ The Truth About Energetic Magnetism

There is a reason coaches struggle to raise their prices, attract premium clients, stabilise their income and actually 'do' their business in a way that feels right for them and it has very little to do with strategy gaps.

Many coaches are trying to build a business on an emotional foundation that can’t hold it.

You can be wildly talented, deeply trained, maybe have tried all the strategies, and be endlessly giving…
and still feel like you’re pushing uphill.

Magnetism isn’t created by mindset, content, or confidence.
It is created in the body.

In the moment where your deeper fears no longer lead and you start trusting your internal power.

Unfortunately this is where so many get stuck:
They are trying to act like the magnetic version of themselves, while relating to their inner world through subtle judgement, management (rather than alchemy), or avoidance.

That internal static, the tiny self-betrayals, the resistance that is left unaddressed, the “just push through” is the exact frequency that kills the magnetism.

This is not something that is in our conscious awareness, rather an energetic field we 'give off'.

When I began working with my own shadow instead of trying to silence it…
things shifted much faster.
Not because I became more “positive.”
But because I stopped giving away my power to my shadows and started creating safety AND magnetism within my emotional experience.
From there:
– my work deepened adn a unique proprietary method revealed itself bit by bit (not from my head, but 'through' me)
– my presence became cleaner and confidence went up notches
– my pricing naturally rose into the high 4- and 5-figure range and clients showed up
– and any anxiety that spikes around visibility, pricing and sales is used to create magnetism rather than being made a problem.

Because magnetism is not a performance.
It’s the natural consequence of energetic integrity.

This is why I am hosting a free live interactive call this Thursday at 4pm UK for coaches who want to:
• charge high-ticket or premium
• stabilise their income without hustle
• dissolve sabotage patterns that block magnetism
• or understand why strategy alone hasn’t worked
We will explore the field where your magnetic frequency is actually created, in the body, not the mind.
If you’d like the Zoom link please send me a DM.

I don’t fix communication.I rebuild the foundation from which healthy communication naturally arises.​I don’t teach conf...
13/11/2025

I don’t fix communication.
I rebuild the foundation from which healthy communication naturally arises.
​
I don’t teach conflict repair.
I help you dissolve the triggers that create conflict in the first place.
​
I don’t teach men and women “how to talk.”
I clear the conditioning that creates separation between them.
​
I don’t hand out tools.
I create transformation.
​
Here’s what almost no one ever tells you:
​
The moment your NEW relationship is created isn’t during a conversation.
It isn’t after a breakthrough talk.
It isn’t when your partner finally changes.
​
It begins in the moment beyond the story your mind is making…
beyond what you think their behaviour “means”…beyond the trigger itself.
​
That moment, the quiet, unfamiliar space where the story falls away, is where everything becomes possible again.
​
Most people never look there.
​
They stay trapped on the surface, trying to fix communication, manage conflict, or apply another “tool”… while the foundation underneath remains unchanged.
​
That’s why everything keeps feeling like Groundhog Day.
Why the same cycles repeat.
Why nothing truly shifts.
​
Quick fixes don’t work, not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because you’re working on the wrong layer of the relationship.
​
Change the foundation, and your entire relationship reorganises from the inside out.
​
DM me if you are ready to step into the work that dissolves the triggers, resets the foundation, and opens the space where your new relationship is created.

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Mentor for Couples, Men & Women

To become a magnet for what you truly want in Love & Life, it is essential to take a stand for your desires & fully align yourself with your values & standards.

This involves a commitment to taking full responsibility for the thoughts, feelings & behaviours that you show up with on a consistent basis.

Once you an do this you will realise that you have EVERYTHING you need within you to create exactly what you want & MORE!

The only thing that has been holding you back so far.... ​will be the fact that you have given your fear & resistance more power than yourself.