05/03/2026
The struggle is real 🤣🤣 combine this with treatment modalities including “knit bone” 🍃 it’s a wonder I’m still in business
The Wiganese Pain Scale
As many Healthcare Professionals know, within the NHS, Pain Scales can be useful tools in assessing how a patient may be affected by the severity of pain in their presenting condition, usually represented by emoji’s to give a visual indication as to how the person is feeling at the time.
In Wigan of course, to properly understand the needs of the patient, one must be familiar with their vocabulary, especially when the patient uses Wiganese exclusively or excessively.
e.g. "Ah'm allreet when Ah'm sut daarn, but Ah keep havin’ mazey bouts when Ah geet aart o t’ cheer"
Translation: "Whilst sedentary, I have no negative symptoms, but on rising, I am aware of feeling light-headed/dizzy."
So how does one interpret the severity of pain in a Wiganese speaking patient?
The Wiganese Pain Scale is the answer ‼️
Operating on a mild to severe axis (from 'mithered' to 'mauled'), the scale uses the following terminology:
Ni**le; Twinge; Sprunge; Throb; Gripe; Warch; Mithered; Mauled.
N.B. although some terms are universal, 'Sprunge' and 'Warch' may be unfamiliar.
'Sprunge' is an ache less in severity than a 'throbbing' sensation, whereas 'Warch' is an archaic term definitive of an ache of somewhat more severity and is commonly applied to severe stomach complaints('Belly Warch') and headaches (‘Yed Warch’).
The pain’s severity is defined within the scale from 'Mithered' (minor pain) to 'Mauled' (extreme pain); 'Mithered' is a term associated with a 'worry' or something bothersome but not a major concern, whereas 'Mauled' (pronounced 'mault') is a more serious term used in the expression "Ah'm mauled t' deeath" ("I have concerns that are not trivial").
This scale therefore can be invaluable in making sure that the Wiganese patient can be fettled properly and thus aid in treatment and recovery prior to them goowin’ wom.