20/02/2026
Here below is a picture my lumber spine and the one next to it is my cervical neck . I am still working though 💪I wanted to talk about pain. And some of my own personal experiences from it. This is not a feel sorry for me post. but i hope it will reach others that are also going through chronic pain.we are stronger then we think we get up,get dressed and eat and try to show up for others, we put on a brave face as much as we possibly can, all though sometimes is harder then others and we break down and cry. People probably think your having a nervous breakdown technically you are. Your nervous system literally goes into fight and flight. because when pain lasts more then 3 months it is known as chronic pain.I get you and I understand your pain thats why i feel the need to write this and to share my own experiences of how i am probably even better at my job due to it..
Pain is not just physical its also an emotional endurance test, all rolled into one.
Things happen to your nervous system, your body goes into fight and flight mode.but then again its survival.You may have gut issues like I have but usually is brought on by stress,but it's all linked one way all the other anxiety ,depression may kick in pain can change your personality because you are in pain, especially if not maintained by medication alone.
I can actually empathise with you as a massage therapist since 2004. I got into my job for a reason,after having a car crash, or 4 shall we say I fell down the alps as well. This was such a blessing in a weird way cause it got me into my job and where i belong, that i am proud and also greatful. I never go to work not happy massage is my life , i love making people better step by step with the knowledge of my own experiences with pain and the emotions that come with it. As I say not a feel sorry for me post more a hopefully you can relate post.
I have had several car crashes and this is where a healing touch began in 2004
I actually had lower back surgury in 2023 after having a protuding disc as below in the picture l5/s,sciatica bilateral left knee kept buckling,the right ankle kept snapping every 20 mins was like a roller coaster of pain and emotions. For months and years when the flare ups would happen it would be 10 out of 10 everyday sometimes if i was lucky it would reduce to a 4 still not great but could cope with that but nerve pain is the worst, it also effects the muscles, you get coldness,water sensations tingling in toes burning,spasms with nerve pain it's a horrible pain would not wish on worst enemy..
[ ] i could not walk, nerve pain is intense. The medications are strong the GP,s give you which turns you into zombies like pre gabling,co codamol,morphine etc..i found nothing helped with gp medication in my experience with this type of pain, cold and heat and doing minimal physiotherapy exercises prob helped to some extent. But nerve pain is nerve pain. so eventually had no choice for surgury on 21st February2023, best decision I made it needed doing after years of weeks going into months to then years, of not being able to walk and do the things i enjoyed most people that know me no that is my passion. spinal injections, worked temporary all though i worked it was excusiating, i had no choice as have to live. Fast forward to 2026 i will be having a spinal injection 21st feb this Saturday for my neck ironic thing is I had surgery for my lower back 21st feb 2023. I didn't think about that oh spooky. I have severe cervical stenosis and facet joint artheritis, from c1 to c7 bone spurs and meldolic changes and severe forminal stenosis on the left of c5 and on the right c6.which basically means there is not enough room for the nerves. My symptoms is like have sciatica but in your neck. Tingling down both arms dead arm. Cold tingling the shoulders feels the worse. All though it much better then September to December I can move my neck now. Lots of adjustments and massages and doing the exercises have helped a great deal.
[ ] So that's a bit on my background.
[ ] Lets now talk about the emotional side
People will come to me with not just pain,it effects there mental well being its a vicious circle the stress will make pain worst. Get depressed because they can't make plans for the future, they lose their identity of who they where before the ailments, they may lose relationships and blame themselves for it, so there is a lot of self sabotage, low self esteem,negative self talk, procastination , social rejection uncertainty, shame and guilt, fear of abandonment, feel moody,frustrated that they can't do the things they once could,they worry they are a burden to everyone around them, they worry your bored of them,everyday is a new day but usually you are waiting for bedtime so you can sleep just to feel at peace, then you wake up you cant sleep, sleep problems, you will become selfish to other people's problems, you may forget to ask how they are or how they are, your brain is frazzled you stumble to articulate words,you may not be able to get a message out or what help you actually do need, sometimes its better for people just to show up or send a message.You will feel like you are attention seeker. you pop another painkiller in the hope it will go away. Your stomach hurts because of maybe the drugs you are on. you panic you are not going to get better, you may not get better, is this what life brings. its worrying and scary, rolled into one, so if you have gut issues this will defently show up too. Some days you will feel constipation, somedays you will have diarrhea. You will feel like a burden to your mates and family because you wonder am i expecting to much from them, you worry about there time that your being introuding to there time , you think maybe you should not ask for help or support in people due to this,just simply being present. it's lonely looking at 4 walls. People will have good intentions towards your well being, so if can lean on them.you may lose people whilst losing yourself, you may self isolate and feel even more lonely due to these reasons. you never know if there are boundaries with your care givers as it can be draining on them too,not seeing you happy, but hopefully that would be voiced.if family and friends turn up, it gives joy and you remember who just showed up and it takes the darker days away.You worry you wont be belived by doctors or anyone around you because what you could do yesterday is not what you can possibly do the next. Some will think your even faking. Can't which see the insides of peoples minds or body's if you could feel that maybe there would be more understanding. Not that its an excuse if you push people away or they choose to walk away. It is hard if that happens double trauma. That's where you will feel bad and guilty full of regrets of why i say that. You will feel needy,desperate which on a normal run, you are probably independent. You will feel codependent you will rely on others,which in turn can lead to frustration in knowing you can't do it cause your body is tired you are tired which is often the case. On Some days or even hours through out the day you will feel good so you will over do it and possibly feel the flare up for longer, you never know how long the flares will last could be days, months , years, or worst even permanent. On the bad days you will cry,feel depressed at worst feel live giving up in this suffering body. Not out of pity feel sorry for me because pain when no medication works and it does suck your soul from you and turns you into the black dog of depression, anxiety, but the lack of sleep,maybe not eating due to this its exhausting work. you feel overwhelming, socially isolating, it limits your activitys,you feel irritable being trapped in a body that is not working, you feel irritable with others you feel irritable in yourself because you cant do the things you onced enjoyed. You dont know when a chronic or even an acute problem is going to end. you feel scared of the future. You feel guilty when you have a fear of missing out on events, you will fill forgotten by people, will you over extend the feel sorry for me card, but you generally need people there to lift you up whilst sometimes you just want your time to grief the loss of your soul, you dont want to be the negative n***y in the room talking about your pain so you may hide that in fear ,not just your social life you may have to give up work, you worry about money, the bills rolled into one or you carry on working because you have no choice, you try and get disability allowance just to be turned down, which adds stress, before you know it you spiral, but yet you still manage to find the strength to get up for another day,fake a smile and try and fake it till you make it. Pain also plays a role in your nervous system, so when a doctor puts you on antidepresents, all though some can be good for nerve pain.Muscular pain and nerve pain are totally different entitys. You will suffer sleep problems, you will feel exhausted and tierd. Lack of sleep also makes you grumpy. Generally pain takes away your life hopes and dreams which leads to these symptoms on top of what you are going through. It's generally hard work being in survival mode. You can also feel incredibly embarrassed with your age and not being able to do the things you love.
So I am sure a lot of people may have related to the emotional side of pain.
Now how can you help yourself ?
Exercises are also your best friend. Even if just a little bit but often it is far better to do what you can. There are plenty of exercises on you tube that could help with your condition
Hot and cold therapy if its inflammation then use cold every 2 hours for 20 mins and before your exercises put some heat on hot water bottle. Then exercise just move every half hr do something you really don't want the surrounding muscles to seize up light gentle yoga.
Walking actually helps with the lower back. Even if you are new to exercises do 5 min walk for a week 10 mins the next etc. Small goals will make a difference to you healing.and both physical and mental health
Do some meditation as much as possible massage helps with the nervous system your body is in fight flight mode all ready so even if takes mind of it for a short while.
Diaphragmatic breathing helps settle the stomach and the vagus nerve
Look up exercises for fascia
Use a tennis ball,trigger point cane or massage gun to help soothe muscle pain
Water so important to drink over 2 liters this helps keep the muscles from dehydration
Rest listen to your body.
Massage and acupuncture,cupping really helps.
Depending on issue with body osteopath are great to can highly recommend Simon at carlton clinic or trevor at bridgeham clinic.
Yoga,pilates and tai chi worth doing especially as we get older
Give it time
Be kind to yourself
Try and ask for help even though sometimes that is hard to except help because your brain still tells you you can and as mentioned you may feel like a burden or taking up others time,but try and ask.
Phone a friend you will need all the support you can get, a little phone call tlc works for your mental wellbeing. Due to being stuck in your body thats not working or your mind ..and not going out due to socialise is very harmful to our well-being when life is on hold.
Do eat anti inflammatiry diet, things that are good for your gut like probiotics,green leafy veg Mediterranean diet,ginger,chilli's tumeric,aloe Vera juice
Read a book
Speak to others that have been in simular situations this will confirm what you are feeling as I say it can take a mental toll
Hopefully you will have support to pull you out of your darker moments, so lean in where possible
What is a waste of money ?
Idd therapy i found I spent £2000 for a treatment for my lower back that really did not helped I was sucked in out of desperation that's not to say there was moments where I felt almost a bit of relief
Chiropractors I am sorry but the concept of 3 sessions a week for this long and you do this for x amount of time you will feel better well with the body you cannot guarantee that. And for 10 mins when an osteopath can do it in 30 mins I feel you get more honesty from osteopaths and value for your money but that's my personal experience it may work for you
Sitting there and doing nothing you will actually make this worst, so please get up and move if an exercise hurts don't do it. Physio style exercises are gentle, swimming , walking great but only go within your limits
Dont eat high fatty foods
Avoid doomscrolling mind and body are so connected
Don't forget to try and smile
I hope this helps people know they are supported when they come to a healing touch
You are supported and I will do my best to help you because I understand. My pain maybe a curse but it brought me into the job I love.
Thanks for reading hope this helps some others that suffer from any mental or physical ailments.
You are in safe hands here at a healing touch.
Www.ahealingtouch.co.uk
