Joanne Reed Free to be me Counselling Services

10/03/2026

Why grief can turn into low mood years later.

People are often surprised when grief feels heavier long after the loss.

Common reasons include:
– delayed emotional processing
– returning to “normal life” too quickly
– changes in identity, meaning or direction
– cumulative stress alongside grief

Low mood in grief isn’t always intense sadness.
It’s often emptiness, withdrawal, tiredness or lack of motivation.

This isn’t weakness. It’s the nervous system carrying more than it can comfortably hold.

Grief needs a voice.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: enquiries@freetobemecounselling.co.uk

Telephone: 07594 720245

09/03/2026

Grief doesn’t shrink just because time passes.

One of the most painful beliefs people carry is:
“If this still hurts, I must be doing something wrong.”

But grief doesn’t work on a timeline.

Time passing doesn’t automatically mean grief softens, especially if life demanded you keep going without space to process what happened.

For many people, grief resurfaces later, when things are quieter or when the cost of coping catches up.

Needing support months or years after a loss doesn’t mean you failed. It often means you survived.

If this is you, get in touch to learn how we might work together.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: enquiries@freetobemecounselling.co.uk

Telephone: 07594 720245

06/03/2026

Why did my client choose to come to therapy....

They didn’t come to therapy because things were unbearable

They came because everything felt harder than it should.

They were functioning. Holding responsibilities. Showing up at work and in their daily life but inside, they felt flat, detached and quietly exhausted. They kept wondering whether this was just how life felt after loss.

Over time, the work wasn’t about “feeling happy again”.

It was about:

– understanding what grief had taken from them
– reducing the constant self-criticism
– feeling more present in their own life

They still grieved but it stopped dominating everything.

Small internal shifts can change a lot.

Are you ready to experience a shift? I offer a free 15 minute telephone call to enable you to ask any questions you may have and decide whether we could work together. Get in touch, I reply to all messages.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: enquiries@freetobemecounselling.co.uk

Telephone: 07594 720245

05/03/2026

One thing I wish people understood about grief and depression...

You don’t need to know exactly what you feel to talk about it.

In my work, many people apologise for not having the “right words” or not knowing where to start. They worry they’ll say it wrong, minimise it, exaggerate it or get emotional.

But grief and depression are often experienced as confusion, contradiction and silence, not neat explanations.

Therapy isn’t about performing insight. It’s about having space where nothing needs to be tidied up.

Often the most important moments start with:
“I don’t really know how to explain this.”

That’s more than enough. If you are unsure where to start I'll help you find the words. We work together, it's not all awkward silence and nodding, I'll ask you questions, get to know you, help you feel more at ease.

I'm here when you are ready to start.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: enquiries@freetobemecounselling.co.uk

Telephone: 07594 720245

04/03/2026

How grief and depression quietly overlap.

Grief and depression are not the same but they can sit very close together.

Grief brings waves of sadness, longing and change.

Depression often shows up as heaviness, flatness, loss of motivation or meaning.

When grief is prolonged, unspoken or unsupported, it can begin to affect mood, energy and how someone experiences life day to day. People often describe feeling “not themselves” anymore, not intensely distressed, just dulled.

What makes this harder is that many people explain it away:

“Of course I feel like this look at what I’ve been through.”

That explanation may be true but it doesn’t mean you should carry it alone.

Understanding the connection doesn’t label you. It helps you stop blaming yourself.

I have availability and would love to support you. Just get in touch.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: enquiries@freetobemecounselling.co.uk

Telephone: 07594 720245

03/03/2026

Grief isn’t always visible.

It doesn’t always look like crying or obvious distress.
Sometimes it looks like functioning.
Going to work. Parenting. Replying to messages. Doing what needs to be done.

And inside, it feels flat.
Heavy.
Distant.

You can miss someone deeply and not feel constant sadness.
You can love them and still feel numb.
You can cope outwardly and still feel as though something in you has quietly dimmed.

This is where grief and low mood often overlap. Not in dramatic breakdowns but in the slow loss of energy, interest or connection.

Many people tell themselves:
“I’m managing. It’s fine.”
“I should be used to this by now.”
“This is just how life feels after loss.”

But coping and carrying are not the same thing.

If this resonates, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
It means your system has been holding a lot.

You don’t have to be falling apart to deserve support.
And you don’t have to explain why it still hurts in quieter ways.

If this has put words to something you haven’t been able to name, you’re not alone in that.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

03/03/2026

“How do I know if this is grief… or depression, or both?"

It’s a question many people start asking around this time of year, especially when the world seems to be moving forward and you’re still feeling low.

I’ve written a new blog about grief, low mood and emotional exhaustion and why this doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.

You can read it here:
https://www.freetobemecounselling.co.uk/free-to-be-me-blog/griefanddepression

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Grief, low mood and emotional exhaustion: why this doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.

02/03/2026

Depression doesn’t always look like staying in bed.

Sometimes it looks like getting up, going to work, replying to messages and doing what needs to be done, whilst feeling flat, heavy or strangely disconnected inside.

Many people living with grief-related depression don’t recognise it as depression at all. They tell themselves they’re coping because life hasn’t stopped because they’re functioning. Others tell them or seem to think they’re “doing well”.

Feeling numb, distant or emotionally drained isn’t a personal failing. It’s often what happens when loss has been carried for too long without space to be processed.

You don’t need to be falling apart for something to be wrong and you don’t need to justify why this feels hard.

Sometimes the quiet struggles are the ones that need the most care.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: enquiries@freetobemecounselling.co.uk

Telephone: 07594 720245

27/02/2026

“I wish I’d come sooner.”

Most people who come to therapy tell me the same thing, often with a hint of regret.

They waited because they thought they should cope. Because others needed them. Because they didn’t feel “bad enough” to justify asking for help. Many assumed time alone would take care of it.

What they didn’t realise is how much energy it takes to carry grief quietly. How gradually it reshapes daily life. The constant effort, the emotional distance, the sense of just getting through it rather than really living.

By the time people reach out, they’re often not in crisis. They’re simply tired. Tired of holding it all together. Tired of questioning themselves. Tired of doing this alone.

Therapy doesn’t undo the past. But it can stop grief from quietly taking up more space than it needs to. For many, that realisation comes with a simple understanding: they didn’t need to struggle for as long as they did.

Ready to give it a go? Just get in touch.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: enquiries@freetobemecounselling.co.uk

Telephone: 07594 720245

26/02/2026

Grief that isn’t addressed doesn’t stay static.

It continues to shape how people relate to others, how they see themselves, and how much emotional resilience they feel they have over time.

Left unsupported, many people slowly adapt their lives around grief, becoming more guarded, more self-critical, or emotionally withdrawn without quite realising it’s happening. Not because they’re weak, but because they’ve had to cope alone for too long.

Early support doesn’t mean something is seriously wrong. In my work, it often means the opposite. It allows us to understand what your grief is doing to you now, before it quietly becomes the way you live.

Clients benefit from working with me because this isn’t about labelling or pathologising grief. It’s about careful, experienced listening; helping your nervous system settle; and making sense of your reactions without judgement or pressure to move on.

This kind of support can prevent people from becoming stuck for years not by rushing the process, but by giving grief the attention and care it actually needs.

Get in touch to book an appointment or to see how we could work together.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: enquiries@freetobemecounselling.co.uk

Telephone: 07594 720245

25/02/2026

Why grief feels worse in the evenings

If your grief feels heavier once the day slows down, you are not imagining it.

Many people find that evenings are the hardest part of the day after a bereavement. When distractions fade, the house becomes quieter and exhaustion sets in, emotions often rise to the surface. Memories feel closer. The absence feels louder. The effort of “holding it together” all day catches up with you.

In this video, I explain why grief can intensify at night, what is happening psychologically and physically, and why this does not mean you are going backwards.

I am Joanne, a UK-based grief and loss counsellor supporting adults experiencing bereavement, su***de loss, sudden or traumatic death, and complex or prolonged grief. My work focuses on helping people make sense of their experience and feel less alone in it.

If evenings are the most difficult part of your grief, this video is for you.

If you would like 1:1 online grief counselling, you can find more details below.

Best wishes
Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor

***deloss

25/02/2026

A common turning point I hear in my work sounds like this:
“I realised I’d been managing everyone else but not myself.”

After loss, many people become very skilled at coping for other people.

They hold families together.
They protect children.
They stay functional at work.
They keep things steady so no one else has to worry.

Grief often teaches people how to survive for others, how to carry responsibility, suppress their own needs, and keep going even when they’re exhausted. From the outside, they look “strong”. Inside, they’re often depleted and unseen.

Counselling is where that pattern gently shifts.

It becomes a space where you’re not the organiser, the carer, the reliable one, or the strong one. Where you don’t have to manage anyone else’s emotions. Where you’re allowed to notice your own limits, your own needs, and your own pain, without guilt or explanation.

This is how people begin to include themselves again in their own lives.
Not by abandoning others, but by no longer disappearing inside the role of coping.

For many, that’s the beginning of real change, not dramatic, but deeply important.

Best wishes

Joanne Reed
Grief and Loss Counsellor, Huddersfield and Online
Free To Be Me Counselling

Email: enquiries@freetobemecounselling.co.uk

Telephone: 07594 720245