12/12/2021
My biggest failure turned into my biggest success.
As a therapist I commit to do the absolute best for my clients. I spend time getting to know them, building rapport and trust. Once we have determined what we will work on, I spend time prepping sessions, ensuring my techniques are up to date, adapting the therapy for the very best results.
Each session is as unique as my client. Change does not very often happen over night; it can take time, energy and perseverance.
A few years I ago I became aware of a client who desperately wanted to go on holiday with their family but was terrified of flying. The holiday had been booked for over a year but my client was getting anxiety thinking about the journey. They told me their family had said they didn’t know why they booked it, and believed she would never go as the fear of flying was so bad.
The client was aware of my previous successes and came to me for a therapy session to enable them to fly to Europe. The flight was 4 days away and time only allowed for one session face to face, and a catch up on the phone.
I designed a bespoke session and we spent over an hour working together to remove the fear and replace with calm thoughts of the journey. When my client left they were extremely excited and felt calm about the flight. They bounced out my office calling me a miracle worker and saying everyone should know about me.
We did a check in the day before the flight and all seemed good.
From social media I could see that the family had arrived at the airport and the flight to their long awaited holiday was imminent.
Great, I thought – success.
However my joy turned to disappointment as I later became aware that my client had boarded the flight and then as the engines had started they had a panic attack and eventually were removed from the flight. They had insisted that the rest of the family stay on the plane and head off on holiday.
That night I ran back through the session in my mind, retraced everything we had done seeking to understand if I could have done any more or anything differently.
I felt that I had failed my client and her family.
Fast forward 36 hours, my phone pinged and I had a message.
It was sent a video of my client with their family on the beach. They were all shouting ‘look she did it, she’s here, she made it, look what you did’.
After a night at home and another day for the changes to be embedded my client had got up, booked a flight without telling the family, got a taxi to the airport and successfully took the flight on their own.
So what happened?
The reason my client left the first flight was the overwhelming desire to please her family by proving them right i.e. that she would not be able to take the journey and the holiday would not happen, however once she knew the family had made the flight without her, she could successfully go on to make the journey as we had worked on.
They had a great family holiday, the first abroad in 5 years and the flight home was without incident.
And that is why my biggest failure was my biggest success.
