EmotionMind Dynamic

31/12/2025

“I can look after myself”

These words out of any man’s mouth when asked about why they don’t seek help for their mental and emotional challenges, always makes my heart break a little bit.

It’s not that I don’t think you are not capable of looking after yourself, it’s that sometimes there are things you haven’t learnt yet that would help you do it a little bit better, with less stress and less pressure.

Take *Rob, embarrassed when the paramedics told him his ‘heart attack' was a panic attack. He had been hiding away the emotional turmoil of a dysfunctional family due to his loyalty to his gran who raised him well. A man who had spent his professional career building a solid reputation but personally felt inadequate, insecure and unloveable.

Take *Gary who went his whole life thinking he was weak and needed to prove himself to every man and his dog that he wasn’t worthless, he wasn’t the imposter, he wasn’t the loser his father told him he was. He lost his first wife to a bitter divorce (he accepted he caused), lost years with his children because he didn’t feel worth it and didn’t know how to be a ‘good father'. And then contemplating taking his own life became a serious consideration because he had tried and failed to see the man he wanted to be, the gentle man we all saw.

Take *Jake, who protected his mother, sister and brother from an abusive father from a very young age. He was left physically, emotionally and mentally scarred, self abusing, rejecting love, hurting those who loved him and ending up in prison after a fight. He was on the brink of losing his family or ending up in prison again before he realised there was a different way.

These three men, ravaged by childhoods they had no control over but took a whole lot of responsibility for, would have done anything to not have to sit on my sofa and be honest with themselves. And I mean anything.

But each of them reluctantly or otherwise committed and invested in themselves for the first time. Releasing the pent up anger, frustration and sadness that had consumed their lives and relationships. They pressed stop on the self punishment loop, they kicked self sabotage to the curb and they let go of the idea that they were worthless, imposters who didn’t deserve love happiness or joy.
Instead they came to recognise that the monster they painted themselves to be was a façade to keep people at arms length, to avoid rejection, to control the pain they felt. These men were gentle men who have hearts of gold, and a whole lot of something to give to the world and now they know it too.

*names changed for confidentiality

04/04/2025

I have had some heartbreaking conversations with people struggling in silence and feeling like they are failing, even when they are doing well professionally. CEO’s, leaders, managers living with anxiety, facing crippling panic attacks and still turning up with a smile on their faces, exhausted by wearing the mask and not being the best parent or partner at home as a result.

I remember slapping the smile on every time I left the house, portraying this mother, business owner and wife who had her s**t together, kids in school and sports, helping people achieve the life they want, working towards a PGCE , qualifications in counselling, coaching, child psychology, then later a Masters degree in a bid to cope, but from the outside looking in I was soaring, succeeding even, internally I was emotionally dying.

Depression almost cost me everything, at my lowest, I had a devastating thought that made me consider walking away for my children or fighting for a life. Lucky for me that moment was my saviour, I finally found the motivation to change and become powerful in my own life again.

The first part of my journey was helping my son go from 8-9 panic attacks a day to nothing in nine years this year and two years of learning, failing, falling on my backside and getting back up to fight again, fight for my mind back, fight to be me again and fight to destroy the depression that nearly destroyed me.

I now help others to avoid or overcome anxiety, stress, depression, to become who they truly are and in 2022 Bangor University and Cardiff university evaluated EmotionMind Dynamic’s effectiveness in improving mental wellbeing and self efficacy.

I recently put the paper in NotebookLM to hear their summary, it was really interesting if you are interested in finding out what results
Listen to a notebookLM summary here
https://lnkd.in/ekVrmMJT

Or Read the paper here
https://lnkd.in/eJuxRqjd

Shortcut to the result in the pics attached. let me know your thoughts

22/03/2025

We have made mental health a common enemy, something to be afraid and ashamed of, something we do not talk about for fear of rejection, judgement and harsh criticism. All the things we do to ourselves when we are living with depression, anxiety, stress, we don’t need someone else to do it, we are already masters at self punishment, so we remain in our own heads making up scenarios, catastrophising, self blaming and feeling completely and utterly lost.

“why didn’t he say something?”
I hear it all the time, we don’t say anything because society from the government down has made it uncomfortable and almost impossible to talk about our own actual suffering.

No one knew I was living with depression, I would laugh and joke, from the outside in, people thought I had my whole life together. At one point I was getting my teaching degree and four other courses while working full time with four children, doing sport in the evenings, they attended school and their sports, they showed no indication of a family struggling. The I moved on to running a business, doing my masters, delivering workshops, and it all got done to a high standard.

Inside was another story, I was suffering, I was in deep emotional pain, I couldn’t; think straight, I lost my memory, I experienced a loss of peripheral vision, I developed a stutter, I constantly judged myself against intolerably high standards, I criticised myself and judged my inability to change the very thing I was helping other people change my thoughts. It was hell, but I feel lucky to never have wanted to take my own life as an option.

I did however hit rock bottom where a dark and devastating thought had the ability to change my life for the worst but it changed my life for the better. In October of 2015, I new that I either had to walk away from my family or do something to change my situation, so without any medical or therapeutic intervention I set about making the changes I needed to make. I worked hard to make myself better. (as as sideline I helped my son go from 8-9 panic / anxiety attacks a day to nothing, 9yrs this year, that’s another story)

I did it on my own by choice, I didn’t look for another way, I suppose that's the high achiever in me. Now O am grateful for that battle and I see my role as making sure people don’t feel like they are on their own suffering.

It’s hard but not impossible, so please share with your friends who might need to hear that there is hope, that there is a way out no matter who tells you this is it forever, it is not true.

21/03/2025

If you re struggling with big emotions and or menopause symptoms, have a listen this podcast we cover so many topics

Women's Health Unwrapped is a weekly podcast show dedicated to empowering women to unlock the secrets of true health and vitality. We unwrap what healthy living really means to help you get clear on the power of building sustainable healthy habits without the overwhelm and confusion you feel right n...

16/02/2025

Five things not to say to someone living with depresion

30/11/2024

Three things they don’t tell you about depression: memory loss, not coping with the little things, and disconnection from loved ones. Join our inner circle group to find support.
https://tidycal.com/hayleytwheeler/discovery-call

29/11/2024

Empower your child to overcome anxiety with these questions!

29/11/2024

Ready to make a change? Ask yourself these 3 questions!
https://tidycal.com/hayleytwheeler/discovery-call

28/11/2024

Don't make these mistakes with anxiety!🚫

Waiting till anxiety kicks in, believing everything you think, and investing in powerful emotions is a recipe for disaster. Start taking control of anxiety today!💪

28/11/2024

🚩 Three Signs of Red Flags in Relationships 🚩

🔎 Not giving personal info but gathering lots of info about you?

‍♀️ Being negative about past relationships? ‍♂️

Creating a push-pull relationship?