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Eva Nabunya- Grief and Trauma Specialist, London (2025)

05/11/2025

🌲THE AXE FORGETS, BUT THE TREE 🌳 REMEMBERS

🌳There is a kind of grief that isn’t loud, dramatic, or spoken, but it lives in the body long after the world has forgotten what caused the pain.

🌳This Shona proverb says it perfectly:

🌳“The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.”
The one who caused the wound moves on.
The one who was wounded carries the mark.

🌳And this is how so many people live with unresolved grief,
grief that was never named, never given space, never allowed to breathe.

🌳The world, the “axe” often forgets:
the miscarriage others stopped mentioning,
the breakup you were told to get over,
the bereavement people assume you’ve healed from,
the childhood trauma no one acknowledged.

🌳But your body is the tree,
it remembers what the mind had to bury in order to survive.

🌳Unprocessed grief doesn’t disappear.
It reshapes itself into:

• chronic fatigue
• tension in the shoulders and jaw
• chest tightness
• digestive issues
• shutdown or irritability
• panic that seems to come “out of nowhere”
• emotional numbness
• unexplained sadness

🌳The body becomes the storyteller of what the mouth was never allowed to say.

🌳Healing begins not by “forgetting”, but by acknowledging what the body already knows.

• Where does your body tighten when you think about loss?
• What emotions rise when you are finally still?
• What have you carried so long that you stopped noticing the weight?

🌳Your pain is not dramatic.
Your memory is not weakness.
Your healing is not too late.

🌳Grief stored in the body can be released, gently, slowly, with compassion, when it is finally allowed to be seen.

🔗 Free 30-min discovery call, link in bio
DM me the word TREE if this speaks to you.

30/10/2025

🍃HEALING WHEN THEY DON'T SEE THE HARM.

🍃Some wounds cut deeper
because the person who caused them
doesn’t see anything wrong.

🍃They surround themselves with people
who excuse, dismiss,
or even celebrate their behaviour.
To them, it’s normal.
To you, it’s pain.

🍃This can leave you doubting your own reality.
It can feel like shouting into a void,
like your hurt is invisible.

🍃Here’s the truth:
• Your pain is real even if they never admit it.
• Their refusal to see does not cancel your story.
• Healing does not require their understanding or apology.

🍃Ways to protect your heart while you heal:
• Ground in your truth. Journal what happened, name your feelings, keep your story clear.
• Choose safe support. Find people, friends, therapists, support groups, who validate your reality.
• Set boundaries. Distance is an act of self-respect, not cruelty.
• Release the need for their insight. Your growth is not tied to their recognition.

🍃You don’t need their agreement to begin again.
Your healing is your own.
And your worth was never dependent on their ability to see it.
Have you ever had to heal without an apology?
What helped you protect your truth?

28/10/2025

🌹WHEN FORGIVENESS FEELS FRUSTRATING.

🌹Abuse leaves marks that words can barely hold. And when you’ve been hurt, people may tell you that forgiveness is the path to healing.

🌹But what if forgiveness doesn’t bring peace?
What if it stirs frustration,
or feels like yet another demand on a heart already wounded?

🌹It’s normal to feel angry.
It’s normal to feel frustrated when the idea of forgiving someone
feels like letting them off the hook.
Anger is not a flaw, it’s a sign that something unjust happened.

🌹Here’s what can help:
• Acknowledge the anger. Naming it is not weakness; it’s truth.
• Separate healing from excusing. Your growth does not require you to minimise what was done.
• Redefine forgiveness. It doesn’t have to mean reconciliation.
It can simply mean releasing the hold their actions have on your daily life —
on your terms, in your timing.
• Seek safe support. Therapy, trusted friends, or survivor groups can help carry what feels too heavy.

🌹Healing isn’t a straight line.
• You do not have to rush forgiveness.
• You do not have to feel anything before you are ready.
• Your anger is valid.
• Your story matters.
• And your pace belongs to you.

🌹Have you ever felt pressured to forgive before you were ready? What helped you protect your own healing?

27/10/2025

💝WHEN YOUR INTUITION SENSES A SHIFT.

💝Sometimes your heart knows before the words arrive.
A pause in the messages.
A change in tone.
Something in your spirit whispers: things are not the same.

💝The dread sets in,
Surely my friend…my sister in Christ…couldn’t have done that.
You question yourself.
You hope you’re imagining it.
Then the truth unfolds,
and the ache of disappointment lands.

💝This is a particular kind of grief,
the loss of trust before the relationship is even over.

Here are a few gentle ways to navigate it:
• Honour your intuition.
Your inner knowing is a gift, not a weakness.
• Seek clarity when safe.
If the relationship matters, open a calm conversation.
Ask, listen, and share how you feel.
• Allow the grief.
Friendship changes bring their own kind of mourning.
Give yourself space to name the hurt.
• Anchor in supportive truth.
Surround yourself with people who offer honesty and kindness,
and remember: their actions reflect them, not your worth.
• Lean on God’s steadiness.
When human relationships shift,
God’s presence remains a safe constant.

💝It hurts when the people you trusted
choose a path you didn’t expect.
But you are allowed to trust your discernment,
to set healthy boundaries,
and to keep your heart soft without keeping it unguarded.

27/10/2025

💝WHEN YOUR INTUITION SENSES A SHIFT.

💝Sometimes your heart knows before the words arrive.
A pause in the messages.
A change in tone.
Something in your spirit whispers: things are not the same.

💝The dread sets in,
Surely my friend…my sister in Christ…couldn’t have done that.
You question yourself.
You hope you’re imagining it.
Then the truth unfolds,
and the ache of disappointment lands.

💝This is a particular kind of grief,
the loss of trust before the relationship is even over.

Here are a few gentle ways to navigate it:
• Honour your intuition.
Your inner knowing is a gift, not a weakness.
• Seek clarity when safe.
If the relationship matters, open a calm conversation.
Ask, listen, and share how you feel.
• Allow the grief.
Friendship changes bring their own kind of mourning.
Give yourself space to name the hurt.
• Anchor in supportive truth.
Surround yourself with people who offer honesty and kindness,
and remember: their actions reflect them, not your worth.
• Lean on God’s steadiness.
When human relationships shift,
God’s presence remains a safe constant.

💝It hurts when the people you trusted
choose a path you didn’t expect.
But you are allowed to trust your discernment,
to set healthy boundaries,
and to keep your heart soft without keeping it unguarded.

25/10/2025

🪷WHEN, "WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER" ISN'T HELPFUL.

🪷We’ve all heard it.
Maybe we’ve even said it ourselves:
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

🪷It sounds empowering,
but when you’re grieving or hurting,
it can land like a brick.

🪷Here’s why:
• It suggests that pain must produce strength to be worthwhile.
• It skips over the reality of trauma, exhaustion, and lasting change.
• It can make someone feel like they’re failing if they’re not “strong” yet.
• Sometimes pain just…hurts.
• Sometimes survival is the only victory.
• Growth may come eventually,
• but strength is not a requirement for your suffering to matter.
More helpful words sound like:
• This is really hard. I’m here with you.
• You don’t have to be strong for me.
• It’s okay to not feel okay.

🪷Healing isn’t a competition in strength.
Your worth is not measured by how quickly you turn pain into power

23/10/2025

🫟TOO BUSY TO GRIEVE

I🫟n a world that praises productivity,
it’s easy to confuse keeping busy with healing.
But sometimes, the endless activity,
the packed diary, the constant helping,
the need to stay useful,
isn’t strength.
It’s protection.

🫟We fill our days, so we don’t have to feel the nights.
We help others, so we don’t have to face our own ache.
We call it “moving on,”
but sometimes it’s really just running from what hurts.

🫟How to know if busyness has become avoidance:
• You feel restless when things go quiet.
• You struggle to sit still without reaching for your phone or task list.
• You find yourself caring for everyone else but you.
• The thought of slowing down makes you anxious or sad.
What you can do instead:
• Begin by pausing, even for a minute.
• Notice what feelings arise when you stop.
• Create small rituals of reflection, journaling, walking, lighting a candle, praying, or simply breathing.
• Allow moments of silence to speak.
Healing needs stillness.

🫟Grief needs time and room to breathe.
You don’t have to earn rest.
You just have to stop long enough to feel,
and trust that feeling doesn’t mean falling apart.
It means letting your heart catch up with your life.
Have you ever realised you were using busyness to avoid grief?

🫟What helped you pause?

22/10/2025

💫QUESTIONS THAT INVITE SHARING
(Handled Sensitively)

💫Sometimes, what people need most
isn’t advice
it’s a space to be heard.
The right question, asked gently,
can open a doorway for someone
to exhale what they’ve been carrying.

💫Questions that invite sharing
are not about curiosity;
they’re about care.

💫They sound like:
• What has this been like for you lately?
• What helps you get through the hard days?
• Would you like to talk about them today, or would silence feel kinder?

💫These kinds of questions
honour timing, choice, and trust.
They say: You matter, and your story is safe here.

💫In a world that rushes to fix,
being willing to listen
is one of the purest forms of love.
What’s a gentle question that made you feel seen?

22/10/2025

💫QUESTIONS THAT INVITE SHARING
(Handled Sensitively)

💫Sometimes, what people need most
isn’t advice
it’s a space to be heard.
The right question, asked gently,
can open a doorway for someone
to exhale what they’ve been carrying.

💫Questions that invite sharing
are not about curiosity;
they’re about care.

💫They sound like:
• What has this been like for you lately?
• What helps you get through the hard days?
• Would you like to talk about them today, or would silence feel kinder?

💫These kinds of questions
honour timing, choice, and trust.
They say: You matter, and your story is safe here.

💫In a world that rushes to fix,
being willing to listen
is one of the purest forms of love.
What’s a gentle question that made you feel seen?

17/10/2025

🎨🖌️🫟CREATIVE OUTLETS FOR GRIEF.
Grief doesn’t always speak in words.
Sometimes, it paints.
Sometimes, it writes.
Sometimes, it sings softly through the silence.

🫟Art, writing, and music can hold what the voice cannot say.
They give shape to pain,
colour to memory,
and rhythm to the parts of loss that defy language.

🫟Creating doesn’t erase grief,
it companions it.
It becomes a safe space to sit with your sorrow
and discover meaning through expression.

🫟• Paint what you can’t explain.
• Write what your heart needs to release.
• Sing, hum, or listen to the music that feels like home.
Each act is a way of saying:
“My story still matters. My love still lives.”

🫟At The Exchange, we provide gentle therapy and guided workshops
that helps you express your grief through art and writing — because sometimes healing begins with simply creating from the heart that still remembers.

16/10/2025

🍃3 THINGS THAT HELPED ME ON HARD DAYS

🍃• Some days, grief feels like wading through thick air
• everything feels heavy,
• everything feels slower.

🍃I used to think I had to do something big to feel better,
but healing often begins with the smallest acts of care.

🍃Here are 3 things that actually helped me on hard grief days:
Moving my body even just a five-minute walk.
• It’s not about exercise.
• It’s about reminding my body that life still moves,
• even when my heart feels stuck.
Texting one person, “Having a rough day.”
• Not explaining.
• Not apologising.
• Just letting connection find its way back in.
Letting myself feel it without judging the timeline.
• Grief doesn’t keep a calendar.
• It’s okay to still ache.
• It’s okay to not be okay.
Maybe today, healing looks like a deep breath,
a short walk,
a gentle message.

🍃Small things, but they matter more than we realise.
What small things have helped you get through a hard grief day?

Ever been at this point in your Life?

14/10/2025

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️WAVE OF LIGHT/
CLOSING (OCTOBER 15, 7 PM)🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

🕯️Tonight at 7 PM local time, people around the world will light candles for the Wave of Light, in memory of babies who were lost too soon. 🌟
This moment reminds us that though our babies’ lives were short, their light still shines, in our hearts, in our memories, and in the love we carry forward.

🕯️To me, tonight’s wave is deeply personal. Over the years, I’ve carried names, songs, dreams unsaid — and this week, like many others, I’ve walked again through grief so familiar. I know how much it means to be remembered, and to remember.

🕯️If you join tonight:
• Light a candle.
• Share a photo or memory with or tag me, if you feel safe to do so.
• Pause for a moment of silence, prayer, or simply breath.

🕯️If you’re too tired or the grief feels too heavy, that’s okay too. You show up in your own way is enough.

🕯️I am here.
I see you.
And together, we remember.

Eva Nabunya- Grief and Trauma Specialist

05/11/2025

30/10/2025

28/10/2025

27/10/2025

27/10/2025

25/10/2025

23/10/2025

22/10/2025

22/10/2025

17/10/2025

16/10/2025

14/10/2025

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