https://www.therapywithhelen.com/

Helen Pamely, London (2025)

08/03/2023

I got put in my place yesterday.

And I’m happy about this.

I said on my first call with my new supplier: “I’m a one man band”

😬

She cut me right off mid-sentence: “You are NOT!” - she exclaimed!

You are a ‘one WOMAN band’.

I loved her immediately.

A match made in heaven.

She was totally right.

And amazing she had the gumption (*NOT balls*) to call me out on it.

Go Laura 🤜🤛

Here’s to International Women’s Day.

08/03/2023

Oh I got put in my place yesterday.

And I’m happy about this.

I said on my first call with my new supplier: “I’m a one man band”

😬

She cut me right off mid-sentence: “You are NOT!” - she exclaimed!

You are a ‘one WOMAN band’.

I loved her immediately.

A match made in heaven.

She was totally right.

And amazing she had the gumption (*NOT balls*) to call me out on it.

Go Laura 🤜🤛

Here’s to International Women’s Day.

05/03/2023

Sunday combat class 🥷

If you’re in a fight - then fight.

If it’s time to meditate - then meditate.

Being FULLY present for whatever is - that’s true mindfulness.

Have a kickass Sunday 😎

14/02/2023

Do you want better work/life balance & clearer boundaries around your working day?

If so, watch out for this ONE BIG OBSTACLE which will prevent this from happening.

As a former busy City lawyer I know what it's like to feel stressed out, overworked, have no time for yourself, for the gym, for healthy eating etc etc.

Typical City life hey.

So, you might think the solution is to create healthier boundaries and habits.

But, before this, there is an ESSENTIAL FIRST STEP.

💥 This is: to build your inner-confidence and sense of your value 💥

Without this, all good intentions, when put under pressure, will fall flat as a pancake 🥞

E.g. You say you're going to finish work at a certain hour or make that lunchtime gym class, but then your boss emails and asks to do something.

Sometimes this will be urgent. But many times it won't be and there will be room to push back.

If you:
😬 aren't confident in your abilities
😬 don't have a sense of your self-worth (outside of what you bill)
😬 haven't developed an ability to communicate your needs

It will be very hard (if not impossible!) to say no.

And this is what it's going to take.

The good news is that these are all things you can work on AND get results with pretty quickly.

Take the time to invest in you.

It will be the biggest payoff you'll ever make 🚀

13/02/2023

I used to always worry about whether my work was up to scratch.

And this used to DRAIN 🕳️ me.

It felt as though my energy and self-esteem were being squeezed out of me 😓

It was the classic imposter syndrome kicking in 👀

❓Could I have done more?
❓Was this what they wanted?
❓Did I write too much / too little?
❓Was I too slow?
❓Was I too informal?

And so it goes on.

But there's a trick you can use though to get round a lot of this.

And it's pretty simple.

ASK people what they want from you 😳

✅ ASK how they want you to interact with clients
✅ ASK how long they think you should give this piece of work
✅ ASK the level of detail required
✅ ASK what the syntax should be
✅ ASK what the turnaround is

Don't sit there worrying.

Most people don't bite.

And, well...if they do...it's probs time to look for a new job anyway! 🤷‍♀️

Double tap and follow if you found this helpful!

03/02/2023

I used to be addicted to external validation.

Truth is - I'll probably always be in recovery.

BUT...when I learned (largely!) to shake it off, my career took off 🚀

It seems to be the affliction of us lawyers.

✅ You get A grades at school
✅ You do well at uni
✅ You win loads of sh*t because you're clever and talented

But what does all this mean?

It means you likely become a high-achieving perfectionist, waiting for that next 'hit' of external validation, to feel as though you're hitting the mark 😰

If you don't hit that mark, well, you feel as though you've failed 😞

All it takes an an under-appreciative boss, or something to not be 'perfect' and it sends you spiralling🌪️

The good news is, you CAN change this mindset.

With some re-framing and work on inner confidence, you don't need to be ruled by what other people think.

It's at this point you'll step into your own power and achieve great things.

I promise 🙏

If you found this helpful, like and follow me for more useful career insights!

20/12/2022

Have you checked out already this week? 👀

Or are you racing for the Xmas finishing line? 🥵

Either way, one thing I learned about success is that you have to be in the moment.

You need a mix of both downtime and uptime.

If you’ve got a deadline - work your socks off and get what you need to done.

If you don’t, then give yourself the PERMISSION to actually enjoy it.

As for me, I’m on the wind down now…too many mince pies already 😋

What’s going on in your run up to Christmas?

24/11/2022

I used to be crippled 😫 by a fear of failure.

When I let this go - my career took off.

In my early career years I would work around the clock 🕜.

My job was more important to me THAN me.

You say jump? I say how high. 🏃‍♀️

Oh is that research task not quite what you wanted 🗒 ? No problem, I'll re-do it...
..and by the way, would you like a latte from the shop? ☕️

It all changed when I started studying for my MA in Psychotherapy, which became my passion.

Law was no longer my sole focus, and I didn't want it to be.

I put boundaries around my time, and I set my limits.

Then I stuck to them.

When I stopped defining myself by the job, I became more daring.

I became more creative.

I just tried new things out, tested new ideas.

I became bullish enough to speak up...because hey - what's the worst that would happen?! 🤷‍♀️

And guess what?

I stood out 👀

I finally stepped into my potential.

In the space of 2.5 years, working three days a week, I was promoted from associate to Partner.

If I had one piece of advice to my younger self:

You have the keys to free yourself WHENEVER YOU CHOOSE.

➡ Now use them.

⚖ 🇬🇧

13/11/2022

If you always put others above yourself - it’s a betrayal of you.

😳

In our society (especially as women), you‘re encouraged to self-sacrifice.

You may well feel guilty if you aren’t prioritising the needs of others. 👀

But to truly stand in your power and offer the world the best version of you - you have to:

➡️ look after you
➡️ guard your boundaries
➡️ make a commitment to you and your journey.

Getting clear on who you are and what you stand for means you can live life intentionally.

And living with intention means you are empowered to create the life you want.

You can achieve whatever you set out to achieve.

You’re no longer a passenger but the captain of your ship.

Standing in your own power means you also have more space and energy to serve others.

What is your one intention for today? 🤔

⚖ 🇬🇧

09/11/2022

There are certain things I wish I could go back and tell my younger lawyer self. 🤔

Knowledge of these things would have made me more successful, happier and just made navigating the corporate world a bit easier.

My gift to you is that I'm sharing this knowledge in a lunchtime workshop GMT tomorrow, with Clara Rose Consultancy Ltd.

And this is completely free!

Do come along with all your weird and wonderful questions and I'll be happy to answer them! 😊

Sign-up link in the comments below.

⚖ 🇬🇧

18/10/2022

This has been a bit of a weird holiday 👀

Well, 'weird' in the sense that I've worked more than I usually do back home…

But wait ❗️- this was actually my intention!

I wanted to see if it COULD actually work 😬 - to come away to a hotel in the sun and work for a week…
...and then (hopefully!) put down the laptop and have a week to relax.

Can you really have your cake and eat it?!?

I have my mum‘s voice in my head (always) saying no to me when I ask this, whatever the context 😂

But, in this case, the answer does appear to be be a YES! 🥳

I'd have bitten off my right arm for this opportunity a few years ago…when the concept of balance was limited to me hoping to occasionally get home before dark 🌙

The pandemic has given us a few gifts, one of which is making the world a smaller place in terms of connectivity - and internet seems to be better than ever!

For me, this has enabled me to create a different kind of lifestyle.

But making life ‘work’ looks different for each one of us,

The question is - what do flexibility and balance look like for you? 🤔

18/09/2022

So happy to finally receive my MA in Psychotherapy 🥹

The truth is that taking time to understand myself and others better is my passion.

I believe the real richness of life comes from digging deep, and finding out who you really are beneath all the surface-level noise.

Thanks to mum, dad and all my friends who have supported me in this incredible journey 🙏

Helen Pamely

08/03/2023

08/03/2023

05/03/2023

14/02/2023

13/02/2023

03/02/2023

20/12/2022

24/11/2022

13/11/2022

09/11/2022

18/10/2022

18/09/2022

Address

Website

Alerts

Shortcuts

Featured

Share