Autability

16/03/2026

If you've been looking into communication strategies for your autistic child, you may have come across the term Total Communication (TC).

At first, it sounds like a great idea. The approach suggests using lots of different ways to communicate at the same time — speech, sign language, pictures, gestures, facial expressions and AAC devices. The thinking is simple: the more ways you communicate, the more chances your child has to understand.

But research and clinical experience tell us a different story. For many autistic children, Total Communication can actually make communication harder instead of easier. Understanding this can help you choose the approach that truly suits your child.

Total Communication is not one single method. It is a philosophy that encourages people to use many communication methods at once. These might include spoken words, signs, visual supports, written words and AAC devices. The goal is that if one method doesn’t work, another one will.

However, autistic children often process language and sensory information differently. When several communication signals happen at the same time — such as speech, signs, pictures and facial expressions — it can become overwhelming. Instead of helping the child understand, it can create too much information all at once.

The child may not know which signal to focus on. This can lead to anxiety, shutdown or disengagement — the very things that make communication more difficult.

Research also shows that when adults switch between different systems or use several at once, it can become unclear to the child which method they should use. This confusion can:

*Delay the child committing to one communication system
*Reduce their motivation to start communication
*Make it harder for them to become confident in a useful communication method

Total Communication can also be difficult to use consistently. This often leads to even more confusion. A child may experience:

*Signs being used at school, pictures at home, and speech during therapy
*Different adults modelling different communication methods
*No clear main system they can rely on

Autistic children need predictability and consistency to feel safe communicating. When communication systems keep changing, that sense of safety disappears, and communication can start to feel stressful and unreliable.

11/03/2026

ADHD isn’t just about calming someone’s energy levels. It’s about regulating attention, energy and focus so that you can be in control of your decisions and actions proactively, not reactively. Having that control is something the majority of the world takes for granted on a daily basis.

I was always that girl in school who kept quiet unless she was 100% certain she knew the answer. Why? Because of the fear of rejection. Of criticism. Of aggressive responses from others claiming I was stupid etc.

But then some days I was that girl that gave multiple answers in a lesson. Who couldn’t care less what anyone thought. Who felt untouchable by comments and would shout back at anyone who gave her an insult, throwing it back ten times worse.

The only problem with that second girl, is that invincible high, where your voice was loud no matter what, always wore off. And the shame that followed would pierce my nervous system with the sharpest pain that just felt unbearable to tolerate.

But this is where people misunderstand how medication helps ADHD. It’s not just to calm us down. In fact, often it is used to wake us up. The role of medication is actually to REGULATE.

When you’re regulated you can make informed choices to be that loud person, and know you might be wrong. But, that’s ok! Being wrong is ok, and you can manage the feeling in a balanced grounded state. When regulated, your brain you can make informed choices about people who make comments about your answers or opinions. Like, does what they say to me really matter? Or, perhaps they just want a debate!

When I’m off my medication, I can’t choose my state. It controls me as my brain tries to regulate itself some other way. Whether that’s addictive behaviours, sleep or impulsive decisions. But when I’m on an effective dose, well…. If I’m loud about something it’s because I believe in it and I know people will respond, and good luck to them. It’s a type of choice and control over actions and reactions that so many people will never understand and always take for granted.

Check out the link in my stories to more info on on the website - ADHD does not always present how you think it does, at school or at home.

03/03/2026

Families navigating SEND often come across terms that can appear complicated or intimidating. Terms such as severe, complex, and profound are commonly used in professional reports and policy documents, whereas autism and ADHD are often described differently, even when support needs are significant.

Understanding what these terms mean can help parents tackle the SEND system with more confidence and less anxiety.

Severe Needs

Within SEND, 'severe' indicates a very high level of need and support required in specific areas, such as learning, communication, or physical abilities. In other words, their level of need is considerably higher in a specific area than for other children, including other children with SEND.

A child with severe needs may:
• Need constant or near constant adult support.
• Require significant adaptations to access learning or daily activities.
• Have severe learning, communication, physical, sensory or developmental needs.
• Need a highly structured or specialist environment.

Complex Needs

Complexity refers to the combination and interaction of multiple needs, as well as the involvement of various support systems.

A child with complex needs may:
• Have multiple SEND needs at once such as communication, physical and cognitive difficulties.
• Require education, health and social care support together.
• Need coordinated planning between professionals.
• Experience interactions that fluctuate and impact multiple areas of daily life.

A child may have complex needs without severe learning difficulties, and vice versa. These categories are related but have separate meanings.

Profound and Multiple Learning Difficulties

PMLD describes children with significant learning difficulties accompanied by other additional needs, including physical, sensory, or medical challenges.

These children may have:
• Profound cognitive/intellectual disabilities
• Multiple additional needs, such as physical disabilities, sensory impairments or medical needs
• Require highly individual lifelong support
• Communicate in very specific ways, often not using speech

Children with PMLD are typically categorised as having severe AND complex needs; however, 'profound' specifically refers to learning and development.

Autism and ADHD needs

Within SEND, autism and ADHD are often misunderstood because their needs may not be ‘severe' or 'profound,' in terms of the definitions we have described. Instead they involve specific and sometimes less visible challenges.

Many autistic and ADHD children:
• May be academically able, but struggle with regulation, communication or sensory processing.
• Have needs that are manageable at one moment and overwhelming at another
• Experience hidden challenges, where significant effort is directed toward coping rather than learning
• Require consistent and skilled support, even when difficulties are not always obvious

These children experience a different type of ‘complex’, such as:
• The interaction between environment, expectations and nervous system
• The building impact of unmet needs over time
• The need for adults to understand how and why difficulties arise, rather than focusing solely on obvious behaviours

For families, these different terms influence:
• How support is planned and funded
• Whether needs are seen as “educational only” or multi-agency
• Access to EHCPs and specialist provision
• How SEND reforms are applied.

Recent reforms recognise that children with the most complex needs, including those with profound needs, continue to require legally protected specialist support. These reforms also acknowledge that neurodivergent children may require a different approach and extra support.

It’s important to understand the differences in levels of SEND need so that parents can see why recent reforms are being suggested. Autistic and ADHD children absolutely still need support, but these adjustments need to become the norm in schools so everyone may access education equally.

25/02/2026

If your child doesn’t have an EHC plan, their needs are still just as important. It just means you’ll share their needs with the school in a different way, and sometimes you have more freedom in how you do this.

Begin by writing a short summary of your child’s strengths and challenges. Include what helps them learn and feel comfortable. Focus on practical details. For example, saying your child needs advance notice of changes is more helpful than just saying they get anxious.

Ask for a meeting with the school’s SENCO before or soon after your child starts. Explain your child’s autistic traits, sensory needs, communication style, and social needs in a way that’s specific to them.
Bring any professional reports you have, like assessments from a psychologist, occupational therapist, or speech and language therapist. Even if they didn’t lead to a diagnosis or plan, they can still help the school understand your child.

Schools are required to make reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act 2010. If you think your child’s needs aren’t being met, write down your concerns. This creates a record and can help things move faster.
You are your child’s best advocate. Don’t expect the school to figure everything out on their own—guide them, and be clear about what your child needs.

We have lots of free downloads to help you describe and explain your child’s needs to a new school. Follow the link in the comments to find them 👇

19/02/2026

Appealing a School Decision When Your Child Has an EHC Plan

If the local authority refuses to name your preferred school in your child’s EHC plan, or names a school you believe cannot meet your child’s needs, you have a legal right to appeal. This isn’t about being difficult. It’s about making sure your child’s needs — as set out in law — are properly met.

Appeals are made to the First-tier Tribunal (Special Educational Needs and Disability) (often called the SEND Tribunal). This is an independent legal body that reviews whether the local authority has made the correct decision based on the evidence and the law. Importantly, you are appealing the local authority’s decision, not the school itself.

There are strict deadlines. You must lodge your appeal within: Two months of the date on the decision letter, or One month from the date of your mediation certificate, whichever is later. Before appealing, you are usually required to consider mediation. You do not have to proceed with mediation, but you must obtain a mediation certificate before registering most appeals. Missing the deadline may mean the tribunal refuses to register your appeal, so it is important to check the date on your decision letter carefully and act promptly.

Parents can appeal:
Section B – the description of needs
Section F – the provision specified to meet those needs
Section I – the named placement

Many parents are unaware that they can challenge more than just the school name. If the needs and provision sections are not accurate or specific, this can directly affect whether a placement is appropriate.

Tribunals do not focus on preference. They focus on whether the named placement can meet your child’s needs as set out in the EHC plan. This is where evidence becomes crucial. Rather than arguing that a school is “bad”, focus on:
Whether your child’s needs are being met
Whether provision in Section F is being delivered
The impact on your child if needs are not met

Impact might include:
Increased anxiety or school-related distress
Reduced attendance
Emotional dysregulation or shutdown
Masking in school followed by meltdowns at home
Academic regression
Social isolation

A child maintaining grades but experiencing severe anxiety may not be in a placement that is meeting their needs appropriately. Tribunals consider both educational progress and wider wellbeing.

Strong appeals are evidence-led. This may include:
Educational psychologist reports
Speech and language or occupational therapy reports
Medical or CAMHS letters
Attendance data
Behaviour records
Written correspondence raising concerns
A detailed parental statement outlining impact over time

You do not have to navigate this alone. Free and independent advice is available from:
IPSEA – specialist SEND legal advice and model documents
First-tier Tribunal (Special Educational Needs and Disability) – official tribunal guidance and forms
Your local SENDIASS service (every local authority must provide one)

A high proportion of tribunal decisions are found in favour of parents, particularly where strong evidence is presented. Many cases are resolved before reaching a full hearing. While the process can feel overwhelming, careful preparation and clear evidence significantly strengthen your position.

If you need help with explaining the impact a school is having on your child, check out the link in the comments to our Impact Pack, which can help you word and demonstrate the effects of the wrong choice of school on your child.

12/02/2026

Why Your LGBTQIA+ Teen With ADHD Might Be More Anxious Than You Realise

If you have a teenager who is both ADHD and LGBTQIA+, you might notice that anxiety affects them more than it does other teens. This is real. There are several reasons your teen may feel more stressed than their peers, and understanding these reasons is the first step to helping them.

This increased emotional sensitivity comes from the brain, not from choice. Everyday challenges like fitting in, making friends, and keeping up with schoolwork feel even more intense. When you add the stress of identity on top of this, it’s easy to see why anxiety can be a constant part of their life.

Your teenager is navigating something that psychologists call intersectional minority stress. They don't just belong to one marginalised group; they belong to at least two. Being LGBTQIA+ in a world that still largely assumes heterosexuality and cisgender identity is stressful in itself. Having ADHD in a school system designed for neurotypical learners is stressful, too. But these stressors don't simply add together; they multiply.

Many ADHD teenagers learn to mask: suppressing their natural behaviours to appear neurotypical. It's exhausting, and research consistently links it to anxiety and depression.

Many LGBTQIA+ teens also hide parts of themselves. They watch what they say, how they act, what they wear, and what they show interest in to avoid negative attention.
Coming out is not just one moment. It is a process of constantly deciding and judging risk: Is this person safe? What will happen if I tell them? What if I don’t? Each of these small decisions needs skills that ADHD makes harder.

Understanding the "why" behind your teen's anxiety doesn't fix it, but it changes how you respond to it, and that matters enormously.
Believe the scale of what they're feeling. When your teen says something is unbearable, they may mean it literally.
Help your teen feel safe to be themselves at home. The less energy they use hiding at home, the more they have for other things.
Make sure your teen’s support team understands all parts of who they are. Often, ADHD support misses identity issues, and LGBTQIA+ support misses neurodivergence. Your teen needs people who understand both.

You don’t have to become an expert right away, but showing your teen that you are willing to learn shows them they are not alone and that you are there for them. Your understanding and openness can make a big difference

09/02/2026

This week is Children’s Mental Health Week, a reminder that a lot of struggling children are not “naughty”, “lazy”, or “too emotional.”

All too often, neurodevelopmental conditions are misdiagnosed as mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety. Children and young people (and adults) do display symptoms of these conditions, and many are worthy of a diagnosis. However, what is often missed is the root cause of these symptoms. Maybe your child is prescribed anti-depressants or anxiety medication, but without treating the root cause, these conditions can never fully resolve.

ADHD often presents with a huge overlap of symptoms with anxiety. Symptoms such as restlessness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, emotional outbursts and difficulty sleeping are all experienced in both conditions. If you reach the point of ADHD burnout, symptoms can be confused with those of depression, including exhaustion, inability to make decisions, loss of enjoyment in activities and negative self-talk.

Children and teens need time to recover from ADHD burnout. It can feel physically exhausting to manage even the simplest of everyday activities, like showering. The idea of homework can cause the brain to completely shut down from the overwhelm. People often think it is about managing time better, but it isn’t; it’s about managing energy.

This week, we have launched our new ADHD burnout recovery and prevention workbook written especially for teenagers. It explains what burnout is, why it occurs and provides space to plan a recovery schedule for the next time they’re struggling. As a special offer for this week only, if you buy either our Ultimate Teen Survival Guide or Teen Anxiety bundle, simply add the workbook to your basket too and get it absolutely free! See link in comments.

05/02/2026

If Your Child Doesn’t Get Their First Choice School�
If can be hard when you open that email and see your child wasn’t offered a place at the school you had your heart set on. When your child is autistic or has ADHD, and has an EHCP, choosing a school isn’t just about Ofsted ratings. It’s about safety, understanding, and the right fit.

Visiting schools, even when they’re not your first pick, can still reveal possibilities.
�You might want to visit alone first, especially if your child finds new environments overwhelming. When they’re ready, prepare them gently. Explain where you’re going, what to expect, and why.
�Open days can be sensory chaos. Many schools are happy to offer quieter visits, so it is worth asking and explaining why. This not only helps your child but gives you a chance to see how the school responds to reasonable adjustments.
�Pay attention to noise levels, lighting, classroom layout, and the availability of calm spaces. Is the environment going to support your child, or overwhelm them?
�Are staff speaking kindly, clearly, and patiently? Do they give processing time? These small cues often say more than any prospectus ever could.
�It’s easy to forget things, especially when you're juggling emotions. Take notes and observations, then later review them with your child. Use school websites or virtual tours to go over things together.
�You know how your child communicates, whether that’s words, behaviours, or body language. Pay attention to their reactions when viewing different schools. Comfort, connection, and confidence matter just as much as academics.
�This process isn’t just about ticking EHCP boxes. It’s about finding a place where your child can feel safe being exactly who they are. Sometimes, the right school isn't the one you expected, it’s the one that truly sees them.

03/02/2026

School place offers are on the way…

If you live in England and Wales, these are the dates you need to remember:

* 15 February – SEND school offers
* 1 March – Secondary school offers
* 31 March – Post-16 offers
* 16 April – Primary school offers�(If any of these fall on a weekend or bank holiday, offers are sent on the next working day.)

If you’re the parent or carer of an autistic or ADHD child, this time of year can feel overwhelming. Not getting your first-choice school can be really hard, but it isn’t the end of the road. You have options, and you’re not alone.

Over the coming weeks, we’ll walk you through what to do next: how to visit and assess new schools, how to appeal, how to communicate your child’s needs, and what alternatives might be available, including EOTAS or home education.

Whether your child has an EHCP or not, our goal is to make the process clearer and more manageable for you.

Please tag any families who might be facing school decisions this term. The support and guidance they need could start here.

We’ll add the link to the Autability schools page in the comments to give you more information 👇👇👇

31/01/2026

LAST DAY OF OUR JANUARY BOOK DEAL!

Put both our popular anxiety books in your cart and get the discount automatically added!

But hurry, deal ends 11.45pm tonight!

Link in comments 👇👇👇

26/01/2026

Talking to Extended Family About Your Autistic Child (With or Without an Intellectual Disability)

Helping family understand your autistic child can be a challenge. Whether your child has an intellectual disability or not, there’s often a lot of confusion, assumptions, and well-meaning—but unhelpful—comments.

When your child doesn’t have an intellectual disability, people might say, “But they seem so normal.” That’s because many autistic children mask their struggles. They may appear calm on the outside while battling sensory overload or anxiety inside.

Explain that autism isn’t about intelligence. It’s about how the brain is wired. Your child might excel academically and still find something like a birthday party completely overwhelming. These things can and do coexist.

Use relatable examples to paint the picture:
➡️ “Imagine every sound is turned up to maximum volume.”
➡️ “Think about trying to read facial expressions in a foreign language.”

It’s also important to educate about masking—when autistic people hide their traits to fit in. It can be draining and even damaging to mental health. Your child shouldn't have to perform neurotypical behaviour to be accepted by family.

When your child does have an intellectual disability too, start by separating the two conditions when explaining. Talk about autism. Then talk about intellectual disability. And then explain how they overlap in your child’s life.

Use simple, clear language:
➡️ “They thrive with routine because change feels scary.”
➡️ “They might not speak, but they still feel love and rejection.”
➡️ “They learn more slowly, but they are always learning.”

If someone says, “They don’t understand anyway,” respond with compassion—but also with clarity. Your child does understand. In their own way. And they deserve connection, respect, and dignity.

Set boundaries when needed. If someone isn’t able to be kind or inclusive, it’s okay to limit access. Your child’s safety and well-being come first—always.

Celebrate your child’s wins, however small they might seem to others. Share what brings them joy. Encourage your family to look beyond the diagnosis and see the amazing human underneath.

Not everyone will understand. Some may never fully get it. But that’s not your fault—and it’s not your child’s responsibility to make others comfortable. Your job is to advocate and protect.