18/11/2025
No one really talks about grief and eating.
The way loss changes your relationship with food, quietly, deeply, and sometimes for years.
When I was 18, I lost my dad.
And like a lot of people, I clung to what I could control: food.
I lost weight. But not in a way that lasted, because it was built on fear, not care.
Since then, every new loss has triggered that same pattern.
The feelings come up⊠and my brain still tries to go back to food.
Not because Iâm not âhealed.â
But because my nervous system remembers what used to work.
And hereâs what Iâve realised:
Sometimes, even when Iâve felt the feelings,
even when I know whatâs happeningâŠ
I STILL want the food.
And thatâs okay.
Thatâs not failure.
Thatâs self-awareness with permission.
Giving myself that permission changed everything.
I no longer spiral.
I no longer turn one bite into a weekend.
Because when you stop resisting the comfort,
and you start understanding the pattern,
you stop needing to numb so hard.
I donât coach people to eat their feelings.
But I do help them understand why food became safety.
And how to work with it instead of against it, which enables them to move forward.
To anyone whoâs ever grieved, and found themselves back at the fridge,
I see you.
And youâre not broken.
Thereâs a way through it that doesnât shame you.
â€ïž Miriam