The Equilibrium Coach

The Equilibrium Coach A Counsellor, Counsellor Supervisor, Counselling Lecturer, Life Coach, Public Speaker, Yoga Teacher, Writer, Reiki Master & Media Consultant.

I am a fully qualified and registered integrative Counsellor/Psychotherapist, Counsellor Supervisor, Life Coach, Nutritional Advisor, Reiki Master and Body Therapist. I have worked within the NHS as a counsellor and volunteer; as well as numerous other well-established and respected charities such as Solace Women’s Aid, London Friend, and The Women and Girl’s Network. I also offer Clinical Supervision to some of the staff of Charities such as Victim Support and RAPt. My Heritage and Approach

My name is Novena-Chanel (No-ve-na-Cha-nel, or N-Chanel for short) and I was born in the UK from a mixed parentage of African and Caribbean heritage. I am therefore able to utilise my own personal and professional experience of differing, and sometimes conflicting, cultural values and practices within my clinical and professional work; working effectively with difference and diversity. I have worked with an array of clients who have explored concerns about sexuality and identity, social/community isolation, family/cultural pressures and overcoming abuse. My individual approach to counselling and coaching is infused with sensitivity, openness and creativity; actively working to build a therapeutic relationship based upon mutual trust and partnership. As a registered member of the BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy) and the UPCA (Universities Psychotherapy and Counselling Association) I work in a professional and confidential manner; adhering to the ethical guidelines of both organisations. The BACP Ethical framework can be found here – www.bacp.co.uk. My Philosophy

Through my life’s journey I have come to believe that as unique, complex, and creative individuals, our personal journeys can sometimes become hard to travel and understand. There are also times when our passion and sense of self becomes lost within the ever challenging cycle of life, and we grow tired of fighting to keep our heads above the turbulent waters of life. I believe that it is during these times that we need to find meaning and fulfillment in our lives, and a reason to keep on travelling or ‘swimming to the top’. This can be supported through the connection with Self and others, the strengthening of our self-belief, and the unlearning of negative thought patterns. I believe that this can be achieved by exploring the core of the presenting issues and/or concerns; many times leading back to parental relationships (or lack of) and earlier childhood experience. My hope is that this assists you in learning how to firstly identify and challenge these patterns, and then go on to change or relearn more beneficial approaches to living a life that fulfills you.

During the holidays, it really is okay to do nothing at all or everything that feels right for you. Whatever today looks...
25/12/2025

During the holidays, it really is okay to do nothing at all or everything that feels right for you.

Whatever today looks like for you, it counts.
This is your day.

Maybe today is about re-parenting yourself; moving slowly, watching festive films, making something comforting to eat, whether that’s toast and beans or a full spread that takes all afternoon. Maybe it’s group chats with friends, or a quiet walk to clear your head and fill your lungs. Maybe it’s music turned up too loud, dancing until you’re breathless and laughing, or comedy films on repeat because joy sometimes comes wrapped in silliness.

Maybe today is a recipe you’ve never tried, a face mask, a long shower, or doing absolutely nothing at all. All of it counts.

If you’re visiting family when it feels complicated, you’re allowed boundaries. You’re allowed to pre-face visits with, “I’ll need to leave after dinner,” or, “I may need to head off early, but I’ll make sure I say goodbye.”

You’re allowed to gently close conversations that feel heavy or intrusive, with closing statements such as, “Today is about joy for me, I don’t want to go there,”
or, “I’m keeping things light today.”

You don’t owe anyone explanations about your relationship status, your body, your children, your job, or where you think you should be in life.

If you’re sending messages today, a soft reminder; today isn’t joyful for everyone. Some are grieving, some are lonely, some feel disconnected, some feel full of warmth and love. Every emotion is welcome here.

As a therapist I can assure you that all the beautiful posts you’ll see today may also place a plaster over difficult family dynamics, past betrays, those who are absent, broken hearts and unspoken words. Some are just ok with silencing for a day, some can’t. Both can be held as what each chooses to do.

However today meets you, let it meet you with kindness.

You’re allowed to choose ease and yourself.

Sending you much love, big hugs, kind words, acknowledgement and permission to do what feels right for you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Novena-Chanel

13/12/2025

A gentle, neurodivergent-friendly breath reset for your nervous system.

If you’re feeling wired, overwhelmed, snappy, foggy, or emotionally flooded, your nervous system may be stuck in fight or flight. This is especially common for neurodivergent brains, trauma histories and chronic stress.

Here’s a simple breathing practice I often share with clients, students and parents. It’s subtle, powerful and you can do it anywhere, no yoga mat required 😉

🌬 4 breaths in, 8 breaths out

• Inhale gently through your nose for 4 counts
• Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 counts
• Repeat for 3–5 minutes

The longer exhale is the key. It sends a signal to your body that you are safe, helping shift you from the sympathetic nervous system (alert, stressed, on edge) into the parasympathetic nervous system (rest, digest, repair).

You might notice your shoulders dropping, your jaw unclenching, thoughts slowing slightly and emotions feeling less urgent.

If counting feels hard, that’s okay. You can simply think: shorter in, longer out.

Try it before responding to a message, when you feel time pressure, after conflict, before bed, or when you notice shame or overwhelm creeping in.

Small practices, done often, change nervous systems over time.

Save this for later.

Share it with someone who needs a softer moment today 💜

13/12/2025

This is such a great example of ADHD, impulsivity, time blindness and the shame spiral we don’t talk about enough.

You say yes, impulsively because in that moment, your brain truly believes it can make it work. The reality arrives and suddenly you’re calculating journeys in your head, traffic and overestimating energy levels and transitions. The result is then an overloaded nervous system, timings collapse, you’re now late or wanting to curl up in your bed and hide.

So on comes the cancelling, or for some, ghosting, disappointing someone you genuinely wanted to show up for. Cue the guilt and/or shame.

For many people with ADHD (and occurring conditions such as autism), this is about time blindness and miseducation about energy levels, transitions and dysregulation. An event at 4 feels far away until it’s suddenly right on top of you and your brain confidently tells you guilds be fine 😩🤪😮‍💨. Yet, fifteen minutes to the time you’re meant to be there, you’re still putting your shoes on or getting in the car/waiting for a bus, preparing for an hour journey across town.

Later on rejection sensitivity that some experience and the fear isn’t just about being late, it’s also about being seen as unreliable, uncaring, selfish, careless or “too much”. Especially painful when you’ve had a lifetime being told your impulsivity made you a problem.

For some, saying yes is also about fawning - people pleasing as survival. Being agreeable up stay safe, accepted. Especially common in those who grew up being told they were “difficult” “naughty” or always in trouble.

So as Trevor Noah perfectly articulates, saying “no” is a good start. Some other reframes may be saying that you need to check your capacity, or that you’re provisionally saying yes but will confirm closer to the time. Planning something three weeks ahead sounds great in theory, especially when it’s a dopamine high, but on the day, you might not feel motivated or even want to go!

Some practical tools that might also help are working backwards from arrival time, not the start time, adding 20-30 minutes buffer. Being upfront that timing is something you’re working on and having contingency plans helps too

I saw this Bluey cartoon with Jack in the car, and honestly, it sums up ADHD from a child’s point of view so well.Jack’s...
15/09/2025

I saw this Bluey cartoon with Jack in the car, and honestly, it sums up ADHD from a child’s point of view so well.

Jack’s wriggling around, shaking his legs, distracted by a bird, forgetting his hat… and when his dad asks again, he says, “Oh no, I think I left it.” His sibling chips in with, “Why can’t you just sit still?” and Jack replies quietly, “I don’t know.” 💔

That’s so hard to watch because that’s it, isn’t it? Most children with ADHD/ADD don’t know why.

It’s not just about being “hyper.” For some children, the hyperactivity is on the inside; their mind is racing even if their body looks calm. For others it may show as big energy, fidgeting, blurting things out, interrupting, or acting before thinking (impulsivity).

ADHD can look like forgetting simple things (like the hat!), time blindness (always losing track of how long things take), speaking over people without meaning to, or big intense moods that swing quickly. Some experience feeling crushed by even small rejection (rejection sensitivity), with being told “you’re too much” or “not enough” – again and again.

Imagine being a child who’s corrected constantly. Finding it near impossible to sit still for hours in school , being told “Stop fidgeting” “Listen properly” “Why can’t you just…?” It chips away at confidence.

Siblings can feel it too – dealing with impulsivity, broken toys, interrupted conversations, or hugs that come too rough or too sudden.

For parents it’s exhausting some days. Constantly repeating themselves, managing meltdowns, highs and lows, other people’s expectations, judgements and unsolicited’advice’.

Children with ADHD aren’t being “naughty” – their brains are wired differently. Alongside the challenges, they often bring so much creativity, humour, empathy, and energy.

A few things that can help are:
• Timers and visual clocks for
• Breaking tasks into tiny steps
• Routines that keep things predictable
• Movement breaks (not everything has to be done sitting still!)
• Celebrating the wins, no matter how small

Therapy can help too. Not to “fix” the child, but to build self-esteem, give practical strategies, and help families find a rhythm that works for them.

“Imagine being afraid of diversity, but not dictatorship.”At the heart of it, fear of diversity is really fear of what w...
14/09/2025

“Imagine being afraid of diversity, but not dictatorship.”

At the heart of it, fear of diversity is really fear of what we see on the outside — skin colour, different dress, different accents, different faiths. A fear that our own sense of normality might be discarded, undervalued, or erased.

Yet underneath the visual, we are more alike than many would like to admit. Every parent wants to protect their children; every family wants safety and the best possible outcome; every healthy human longs to be respected, to have their reality acknowledged. Within each of us is an inner child who only ever wanted to be loved, seen, heard, and safe. Not being the blueprint of ‘acceptable’, for some, threatens this reality.

Not fitting the “blueprint of acceptable” feels like a threat to some, and I truly understand where that fear comes from.

A few weeks ago, I saw a video that shook me to my core. A family fleeing war, new to the UK, were trapped in their hotel, filming from a window as marchers waved flags and shouted for them to “go back home.” You could hear the fear and terror in their voices as they feared for their safety, and the safety of their children.

This is what some call normal and “protecting peace.” Some may recognise this from other historical events such as N**i Germany, Apartheid South Africa, segregated America and more.

If your peace requires another family to live in fear, then it is not peace at all. It’s not strength either. It’s a projection of fear and perceived vulnerability onto others who are already vulnerable.

So let this be a reminder to those who march, and to those who stay silent thinking “I’m not racist”:

Diversity is not the danger. The danger is believing that cruelty is protection, and that hostility is normal.

When we lose sight of our shared humanity, we build walls; walls that soon enough shut us off from our own humanity, and even ability to truly love those closest to us.

Now, those that know me know I love a good cartoon and I love a good metaphor even more.So let’s take a look at this one...
13/09/2025

Now, those that know me know I love a good cartoon and I love a good metaphor even more.

So let’s take a look at this one 🙌🏾

Here we have a dog trapped in prison. He escapes his cell, runs across countries, hides in houses, locks every door, even swallows the key. He climbs mountains, dives into the deepest oceans… but no matter where he goes, the police dog — his shame, his guilt, his fear — is always there.

This is what shame and guilt feel like. It’s always there, waiting to be triggered, mirrored or projected onto others.

For many of us, the prison was built in childhood. Shame and guilt were given to us through experiences such as being told “you’re too much” or “you’re not enough”, being made responsible for keeping the peace at home, becoming the emotional moderator of parents, siblings or caregivers, trying to predict and soothe the turbulence of home life.

For some it was being punished for expressing needs or feelings, so instead, they learned to bury them deep inside. For too many, it was learning that love is conditional, so they learn to perform for it, and never expect it freely.

Those early experiences become the prison walls we lock our innerchild and selves within, with the police dog becoming our inner voice, our inner critic, the inner voice that whispers:
“You don’t deserve rest. You don’t deserve love. You don’t deserve joy. You don’t deserve freedom.”

As adults, we try to escape through overworking, people-pleasing, perfectionism, casual s*x, habitual relationships, or avoiding closeness. Yet, no matter how far we run, the shame and guilt catch up.

This is because healing doesn’t come from running. It begins when we finally turn to face the shame with compassion and curiosity, learning that we now have the power to put it down.

True freedom is reclaiming our worth, beyond the prison walls and standing firm in our worth.

So, what are you running from, and most importantly, are you ready to face it, stare it in the eye and free yourself from it?

Let’s talk. Come and find me on my website (link in my bio) and let’s arrange a free 15-minute therapy consultation.

You deserve peace.

Novena-Chanel, The Equilibrium Coach™️

This lovely picture from Jamee Mae KysonGrowth has me thinking about growth, relationships, births (our personal growth)...
10/05/2025

This lovely picture from Jamee Mae KysonGrowth has me thinking about growth, relationships, births (our personal growth) and the end of cycles (older versions of ourselves).

Growth can feel like both a celebration and a shedding as we evolve. Some people may drift away because they are no longer aligned with the version of us we are becoming, and some may resist our attempts to change and demand we remain within the familiar box they’ve placed us. Sometimes this is not through malice, but fear of loss, comfort, and yes, for some, loss of power and control.

However, as living Being, we are not meant to stay the same.

Some will walk with us through every version - attending our rebirth ‘ceremonies’ like proud Godparents, watching you come into your own. Be it a new career path, deeper learning about yourself, new experiences or new ways of living, they commit to learning the evolved version of who you are today, here and now.

Allow people to be present for a chapter, reason, season or a lifetime, by the way they embrace and react to your journey of births, endings and rebirths.

With that said, I am wishing you a weekend ahead that exceeds all expectations and embraces your growth.

Novena-Chanel xx

26/04/2025

We’re often quick to correct, but real change starts when a child feels seen, heard, and safe. Behaviour shifts when there's connection. Lead with empathy, not just discipline.
"Connection changes behaviour more than correction ever will."

More information in my book
Guidance from The Therapist Parent
Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

25/04/2025

Mona Delahooke, Ph.D. 💗

Ever feel like you’re about to overflow?That’s your stress bucket talking.This image shows how everyday worries, trauma,...
22/04/2025

Ever feel like you’re about to overflow?

That’s your stress bucket talking.

This image shows how everyday worries, trauma, anxiety, and pressure slowly fill our internal bucket.
Left unchecked, it overflows, resulting in burnout, shutdown, or emotional overwhelm.

But here’s the key: We all have taps.

Taps release pressure and are coping tools many of us can employ to help de-stress and even regulate ourselves.

Taps are:

• Seeing friends
• Moving your body
• Laughing
• Eating well
• Music, creativity, stillness
• Rest. Real rest… without guilt.


The more we use our taps, the better we manage the water inside.

It’s not about having an empty bucket, we often need challenge to change, develop and grow, but it is necessary for us to have a healthy flow of what be are carrying.

In trauma-informed therapy and coaching, I help clients not only recognise what’s filling their bucket, but also learn to use their taps with intention.

Emotional regulation isn’t just for crisis, it’s an everyday act of self-awareness, self-preservation and self-compassion.

⸻

What’s filling your stress bucket right now and what’s one tap you can turn on today?

With that said, I am wishing you all a blessed and productive day ahead; one that exceeds your expectations and soothes your nervous system.

From Novena-Chanel.

_____

Who is Novena-Chanel?

I am a registered counsellor/ psychotherapist, a qualified life coach, clinical supervisor, Reiki master, yoga teacher, keynote speaker, and author.

I am also the founder of the Epigenetic Relational Therapy Academy™—a trauma-informed training provider, publishing house, and the official home of IERA-Therapy™ (Integrative Epigenetic Relational Therapy™).

Through my integrative and anti-oppressive approach, I support individuals, practitioners, and organisations to engage in deep healing, relational transformation, and embodied justice.

Find out more at www.theequilibriumcoach.com | Link in my bio.

29/03/2025

“Close the doors.” Three words that should never be weaponised in a sanctuary.

Church, like any place of worship, is meant to be a sanctuary. A place of safety, restoration and connection to the Divine (whatever religion or faith you are). As someone once beautifully told me: “The Church is like a hospital. People come in feeling broken, unwell, and needing healing.” There will be some who are at the start of their healing, and others who are further along, what matters is that it’s a place that does us no harm.

So when spiritual leaders begin using their position to coerce, guilt, or manipulate people into giving, especially under the guise of Divine instruction, it crosses sacred lines.

This isn’t about generosity or faith. It’s spiritual abuse and coercion.

Can you imagine sitting in a space where you’ve done for peace and instead hear “close the doors.” No one is leaving until a set amount is gathered. As if your spiritual safety, connection to God/Universe, your right to be in sacred community, is conditional?

$20 - short-time offer. Just for today.
$100 to stand beside me on the pulpit.

That doesn’t feel like faith. That feels like bullying.

From a therapeutic lens, these experiences can be deeply retraumatising, especially for those with histories of abuse, religious trauma, or financial vulnerability.

Let me be clear: I am not against giving or tithes. I am also not against honouring SAFE Leaders who lead with integrity, or supporting spiritual spaces financially. Just as we breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide for the trees to recycle, giving and reciprocity is best practiced with ease. Giving from the heart, not through being shamed, pressured or trapped within a building, is not kindness, love or in alignment with the sane God you teach knows every single hair on your head.

If you’ve ever been harmed in a faith space, I am so sorry. You deserved safety. You deserved truth. You deserved love.

Well done to whoever released this video for evidence that these things happen and survivors should be heated and believed.

So I end with this: “Let me never become a place where greed, evil or ‘the devil’ feels comfortable.”

Address

London

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
7pm - 9pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
7pm - 9pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
7pm - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
7pm - 9pm
Friday 9am - 5pm
7pm - 9pm

Telephone

+442032907538

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when The Equilibrium Coach posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Featured

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram

Category