Inspired Minds

02/12/2025

If a single person achieves the highest kind of love, it will be sufficient to neutralise the hate of millions.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

20/11/2025

17/11/2025

Always felt disapproved of by a family member?

You’re not alone and one thing is certain: it's not your fault.

I just published a new blog exploring a powerful truth: Chronic disapproval says everything about the disapproving person and very little about you!

If you’ve spent years trying to please, perform or prove yourself… this piece may finally give you the permission to be free.

It dives into:
- Why some people choose to live in constant judgment
- How their unhappiness, insecurity, and martyrdom shape their behaviour
- The freedom that comes from letting go of old roles
- And how to break free from the emotional grip of someone who never approved of you

If you’re ready to understand the dynamic - and reclaim your peace - this is for you. 💛

Read the full article here:

For many people, the most enduring emotional wounds do not come from strangers, but from the people closest to them. A parent who always found a flaw. A sibling who rolled their eyes at every achievement. A family member whose comments were never quite kind—never quite approving. When someone grow...

17/11/2025

NEW BLOG POST: Invested in Our Pain — When Trauma Becomes Identity
There are moments in therapy when someone isn’t just carrying their pain anymore…
They’re living inside it. Stuck in a holding-pattern.
And it becomes the lens through which they see themselves, others and the world.

Recently, I spoke with a prospective client whose story captured this completely.
He had spent over £350,000 on therapy and healing.
He was seeing three therapists at the same time.
He had tried “every therapy imaginable” — yet said “none of them worked.”
He hired nutritionists, coaches, healers… but didn’t follow their guidance.
And then came the line that said everything: “I’ll always have to live like this. I’m not even sure who I’d be without it.”

He wasn’t searching for healing. He was searching for confirmation of his pain. Pain had become his identity — and until that shifted, real transformation was impossible.

In my latest blog, I explore this phenomenon:
• why people become unconsciously attached to their pain
• why some sabotage their own healing
• how familiar suffering can feel safer than the unknown
• and how transformation becomes possible only when we release the emotional identity built around trauma

This isn’t about dismissing real pain. It honours the injustice, the hurt, the lived experience. But it also looks at how we break the emotional “holding-pattern” that keeps us stuck long after the original wound has passed.

As a Buddhist scholar wrote: “Life will be painful, but suffering is optional”

This article is for anyone who feels stuck, anyone who keeps “trying everything,” or anyone who senses they may be living inside a story that no longer serves them.

You are not your pain. You are not your past. And healing is not about losing who you are — it’s about remembering who you were always meant to be.

Read the full blog here:

There is a moment in therapy that every mental-health professional eventually encounters: a moment when someone is not simply carrying their pain, but living inside it: a holding pattern. Their suffering isn’t just a wound they’re trying to heal, it’s the lens through which they see themselves...

13/11/2025

Feeling Overwhelmed, Anxious, or Stuck Right Now? You’re Not Alone — And There Is a Way Through

So many people I work with tell me the same thing…
They’re exhausted from trying to keep it all together.
They’re overwhelmed by thoughts that won’t switch off.
They’re carrying pressure, expectations, and fears that feel too heavy to explain.

If that sounds familiar, please know this: Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re weak — it means you’ve been carrying too much, for too long.

That’s why Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can be so powerful. It helps you understand why your anxiety is there, release the emotional weight behind it, and rebuild your sense of peace from the inside out.

And transformational changes can be profound. Here’s a recent message from a young woman who had been struggling with acute anxiety:

“Thank you for all your help, I genuinely think this might be the happiest I’ve been in such a long time! Even the difficult days aren’t that hard anymore. You have made such a difference in my life and I will forever be grateful!! I’ll keep in touch still! Again thank you and hope you are all good!!”

Her words speak for themselves: RTT doesn’t create a “perfect life” — it helps you feel lighter, calmer, more in control, and more you than you’ve felt in a long time.

If you’d like to understand how RTT works, why it’s so effective for anxiety, and what healing can look like from the inside, I’ve written a full blog post that goes deeper into the journey.

👉 Read the full blog here: https://inspired-minds.com/rtt-for-anxiety-a-personal-journey-toward-feeling-like-myself-again/

If you’re struggling right now, please know: You don’t have to keep carrying this alone. Support is here, and healing is absolutely possible. 💛

If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety or depression, you’ll understand this feeling: You wake up already tired. Your thoughts start racing before you even get out of bed. You’re overwhelmed by things that other people seem to handle effortlessly. You keep telling yourself, “I should be copin...

02/11/2025

“Fear in Disguise”
Have you ever wondered why someone’s behaviour seems the complete opposite of what they’re truly feeling?
Why a person who’s terrified of being left becomes angry and pushes others away?
Why someone nearing the end of life lashes out, when what they really feel is fear, grief, or longing?

Here’s something many of us don’t realise:
Behind nearly every behaviour… there is fear.
Fear of loss.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of not being enough.
Fear of death itself.

Yet fear rarely looks like fear.
It shows up wearing masks — anger, control, detachment, defensiveness, even arrogance. These behaviours are not flaws or failures; they’re the nervous system’s attempts to stay safe when vulnerability feels unbearable.

So the person who yells, withdraws, criticises, or refuses help might not be “difficult” at all — they might be terrified. And underneath that terror is almost always a longing… for love, for safety, for connection.

In my latest blog, I explore this idea in depth:
🌀 how fear hides beneath anger and control
💔 how fear of closeness and fear of abandonment create painful relationship patterns
🌅 how anger at the edge of death is often a mask for fear of loss and the unknown
💗 and most importantly — how to meet fear (ours and others’) with compassion instead of judgment.

When we understand that behind every defence is fear — and behind every fear is love — our whole way of seeing people changes.

✨ Read the full post here →

Here’s something that most of us find hard to grasp: why someone’s behaviour may be the complete opposite to what’s really going on for them; how someone behaves is not how they feel; what someone says or does may be completely contrary to what’s really going on for them! And this includes u...

20/10/2025

When does hurt become resentment?

It’s not when someone hurts us - it’s when we stop feeling the pain and start telling a story about it.

Resentment is not just stored anger. It’s unprocessed emotion fused with a story about injustice — pain that’s been turned into identity.

And while it can feel protective (“I won’t forget what they did”), it quietly drains our peace and keeps part of us tied to the past.

Healing begins when we stop feeding the story and allow ourselves to feel what’s underneath — the hurt, sadness, or disappointment we tried to avoid.

Read my latest post to learn exactly when hurt turns into resentment — and how to free yourself without bypassing your emotions.

The Quiet Weight of Resentment Resentment is one of the most quietly destructive forces in the human psyche. It doesn’t burst out like anger or dissolve through tears like sadness. Instead, it settles — dense, enduring, and familiar. While anger says, “I’m not okay with this”, resentment w...

29/09/2025

Ever heard this in your family?
“I’m just always so busy”
“He’s just so busy”
“She never stops, she's exhausted”
"I have have any time"

It sounds innocent — but often it’s not really about being busy at all. It can often be more about competing for the martyrdom prize: who carries the heaviest load, who sacrifices the most, who deserves the greatest sympathy.

The hidden cost? Isolation. Rejection. Abandonment.

When “I’m so busy” becomes a family mantra, it just pushes people away, instead of pulling them closer. The martyr ends up feeling unappreciated, resentful, isolated and alone — trapped in a cycle of victimhood they never meant to create.

💡 In my latest blog, I unpack:
• Why families compete for the “busyness crown”
• What “I’m busy” is really saying
• How martyrdom backfires and creates loneliness
• And simple ways to break the cycle

👉 Read the full blog here: https://inspired-minds.com/the-family-martyrdom-prize-of-busyness-why-im-always-so-busy-hurts-more-than-it-helps/

✨ Love isn’t measured in exhaustion. It’s measured in connection, happiness, joy and presence. And take a piece of Nelson’s advice: in the choice between being right or being free: choose freedom, it works every time!

We’ve all heard it around the dinner table or in family chats: “I’m always so busy” “He’s just so busy” “She never stops, she’s run off her feet, she’s exhausted” On the surface, these sound like simple observations. But in many families, “I’m busy” is less about calendar...

27/09/2025

Don’t make your ability to love yourself conditional on someone else’s ability to love you.

~ Paul Ferrini

25/09/2025

"What you think of me is none of my business" - Terry Cole-Whittaker

24/09/2025

💔 Ever feel like no one is really there for you — even when you’re surrounded by people?

That’s often the hidden wound of fear of abandonment. It can make us fiercely independent, unable to ask for help, and suspicious that others don’t truly care. In relationships, it can even push people away… just to test if they’ll stay.

The truth? This fear doesn’t come from your logical mind — it lives in your subconscious, shaped by old wounds and protective beliefs.

That’s why approaches like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) are so powerful. RTT works with the subconscious to uncover the root cause, release outdated beliefs, and rewire the mind for trust, safety, and love.

✨ Healing abandonment doesn’t mean forgetting the past. It means the past no longer controls you.

In this blog post, you can read about where this fear comes from, how it shows up in our lives, and how RTT can help. You can read it here:

There’s a particular kind of loneliness that doesn’t go away just because you’re surrounded by people. It’s the loneliness of feeling invisible, unwanted, or unsafe to rely on anyone. At its core is a deep fear of abandonment — the sense that, sooner or later, everyone will leave, and no o...