Rebecca P. Fox - Psychotherapist

11/12/2025

Toxic partners don’t need to shout to create chaos. They quietly reshape how you see yourself:

• You apologise even when you’ve done nothing wrong
• You walk on eggshells without noticing
• You minimise your needs to “keep the peace”
• You defend their behaviour to friends
• You question your worth because of how they treat you

When love feels like self-doubt, something deeper is happening.
My new blog will help you spot the difference between chaos and genuine safety.

🔗 https://rebeccapfox.com/post/what-secure-partners-do-differently-in-relationships

10/12/2025

Toxic relationships rarely start with drama, but they always start with self-doubt. When you begin shrinking yourself to “keep the peace”, something is deeply off.

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀:
• You’re careful with your words because their reactions feel unpredictable
• They minimise your emotions, calling you “too sensitive” or “dramatic”
• You feel guilty for wanting basic needs like reassurance or clarity
• They twist conversations until you apologise just to end the tension
• Your nervous system feels constantly “on alert” around them

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁?
You think it’s your fault… because that’s exactly how subtle toxicity works.

If this resonates, my latest blog will help you see how secure partners communicate, repair, and create emotional safety, so you can finally recognise the difference.

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Wondering if it’s you or your partner? Learn what secure partners do differently, spot green flags, and discover your attachment style with our free quiz.

09/12/2025

The Harmful Behaviours of Avoidant Partners

Avoidants aren’t bad people. But the impact of their behaviour can be deeply painful.

If you’re with an avoidant partner, you may feel:
• Seen one day… invisible the next
• Shut out emotionally when you need them most
• Criticised for being “too much” or “too emotional”
• Confused by mixed signals and inconsistent affection
• Like you’re doing all the emotional labour

Avoidant patterns don’t magically disappear, but awareness is power. Learn how secure partners show up instead.

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Wondering if it’s you or your partner? Learn what secure partners do differently, spot green flags, and discover your attachment style with our free quiz.

08/12/2025

When your partner Controls you without “Controlling”

𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗯𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀. 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗽𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵:
• Monitoring your tone, words, or social media
• Guilt-tripping you for wanting time alone
• “Accidentally” sabotaging your plans
• Using emotions as weapons
• Acting wounded when you set boundaries

Control wrapped in softness is still control.
See how secure partners behave differently - it’s night and day.

🔗

Wondering if it’s you or your partner? Learn what secure partners do differently, spot green flags, and discover your attachment style with our free quiz.

06/12/2025

A narcissist doesn’t break you all at once. They chip at you little by little until you can’t recognise yourself.

𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀:
• They’re charming in public, cruel in private
• They “joke” about your insecurities
• Your success threatens them
• They pick fights when you’re at your happiest
• Everything becomes your fault - including their moods!

If love feels like walking through fog, my new blog will help you see clearly.

🔗 https://rebeccapfox.com/post/what-secure-partners-do-differently-in-relationships

05/12/2025

There’s a dangerous myth that holiday stress causes domestic abuse. It doesn’t. Abuse is about power and control, not presents, money, or Christmas dinner.

But what the research consistently shows is that the holiday period can intensify the danger for those already living with coercive, controlling, or violent partners.

Support services report around a 15% spike in domestic abuse-related calls at Christmas every year.

Researchers explain why this season acts as a “pressure cooker” for abusive relationships:
• increased family stress
• financial pressure
• heightened expectations
• reduced access to support
• isolation from friends, work, or familiar routines

For someone in an abusive household, these factors don’t create tension, they intensify the abuser's need for control.

𝗪𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘀:
• more monitoring
• more criticism
• more emotional volatility
• more unpredictable behaviour
• and more fear behind closed doors

So before judging someone for “not being in the Christmas spirit”… remember they might be managing a silent war at home. Your patience and kindness may be the only gentleness they receive this month.

04/12/2025

We’re all quietly bracing ourselves for it, aren’t we?
The end-of-year noise. The “Here’s everything I achieved in 2025!” posts. The highlight reels, the polished wins, the celebrations.

And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with sharing joy… I want to pause for a moment and speak to the people who don’t feel like celebrating this year.

Because for some, the biggest achievement wasn’t a promotion, or a transformation, or a milestone. For some people, the biggest achievement was simply making it through the year.

Waking up on days that felt impossible.
Carrying heartbreak quietly.
Surviving changes they never asked for.
Protecting their children while trying to hold themselves together.
Walking through loss, uncertainty, loneliness, or fear, and still choosing to stay.

Not loudly.
Not publicly.
Not with fireworks.
Just quietly… gently… one day, one decision, one breath at a time.

And if that’s you, if this year has felt like a storm that wouldn’t end…

I see you. I’m proud of you. And you deserve to honour yourself for surviving a year that tried to break you.

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁:

Those of us who have been through things that almost broke us…
we always come back stronger.

Our resilience deepens.
Our self-trust sharpens.
Our ability to recognise what’s right for us, and what isn’t, becomes clearer, cleaner, quicker.

Hardships don’t make you weak.
They carve strength into you.
They teach you things ease never could.
They build a backbone you don’t notice until life tests it.

So no, you don’t have to celebrate loudly.
You don’t have to post achievements.
You don’t have to meet society’s definition of “success.”

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀:

You achieved something extraordinary simply by enduring.
Not everyone has resilience. And resilience isn’t built through comfort - it’s built through surviving the things you never thought you’d get through.

And you did. That is not nothing. That is strength at its finest.

03/12/2025

The Holidays Aren’t Safe for Everyone....
While most people count down to Christmas… others are quietly bracing for it.

Every year, we’re bombarded with messages about joy, family, connection and togetherness. But the reality is very different for those living with coercive control or emotional abuse.

And this isn’t just a “𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨.”
It’s something research has been documenting for years.

A study analysing emergency department data from 2005-2017 showed that domestic violence-related injuries increased during holiday periods, including Christmas and New Year.

Another report highlights that support services see spikes in domestic and family violence over the Christmas and New Year period, driven by increased stress, confined environments, and emotional pressure.

For someone in an abusive relationship, this season doesn’t feel festive, It feels dangerous.
It feels like walking on eggshells.
It feels like trying to predict the next explosion.
It feels like pretending everything is fine because everyone else expects “holiday cheer.”

So if you notice someone withdrawing, going quiet, or acting a little “off” this month… Please don’t assume they’re being difficult. They may be trying to survive something you can’t see.

02/12/2025

We put so much pressure on ourselves to say the right thing, do the right thing, keep everyone happy, hold everything together, and it’s just not realistic.
No one gets it right all the time.
No one is endlessly calm.
And no one is genuinely happy 24/7.

And with the holidays coming up, that pressure gets louder.

But here’s the truth most people won’t say out loud. 𝗖𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗺𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲. And the expectation that it should magically bring families together?
Total nonsense!!

For so many, this is the most stressful, emotionally demanding time of the entire year. Especially if you’re in a toxic relationship or around people who drain you dry.

Because you already know…
😔 Drama is coming.
😔 Disappointment is inevitable.
😔 And whatever you say or do - it still won’t be enough.

You can feel it building in your body long before the day even arrives. That quiet bracing. That mental rehearsing.
That “𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵” whisper you already know won’t be answered.

𝗦𝗼 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀, 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝘄 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀:

✔️ Be gentle with people.
✔️ Slow down if you feel yourself reacting.
✔️ Take a breath before you speak.
✔️ Give people a little more room than usual - because you truly don’t know what load they’re carrying.

Some people are grieving.
Some people are terrified.
Some people are trying not to fall apart in front of their children.
Some people are doing everything they can just to make it through the day.

And I genuinely mean this when I say:
𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴. We underestimate how powerful compassion is, especially at this time of year.

So let’s drop the pressure to be perfect.
Let’s drop the idea that we have to “get it right.”
And let’s just… be human!
Messy, imperfect, compassionate humans doing the best we can. Because that’s more than enough.

17/10/2025

Why is it that some people seem to breeze through friendships… but always leave a trail of hurt and confusion behind them?

A client said to me recently:
“Rebecca, I don’t get it. She was my best friend one week and then suddenly, she dropped me like I didn’t even matter. And yet somehow, I feel like I’m the one in the wrong.”

And maybe you’ve felt that too. The friendship that seemed so close, so genuine - until it wasn’t.

Here’s what I often see going on 👇

🔹 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁-𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀.
Narcissists rarely invest in friendships for the long haul. They move from person to person, focusing on who can meet their needs in the moment. And once you’re no longer “useful,” the friendship fades.

🔹 𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗺 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆.
They’ll put you down, often wrapped up as “harmless jokes.” But the moment you tease back, even lightly, they react with outrage, defensiveness, or the silent treatment.

🔹 𝗗𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺.
Somehow, they’re always the innocent victim. Yet when it’s your turn to share, your pain gets minimised, dismissed, or quickly redirected back to their story.

And the truth is - if you’ve ever walked away from a friendship feeling confused, hurt, or doubting yourself… you’re not imagining it. These are classic signs of toxic, narcissistic dynamics.

The first step is recognising the pattern. The next is learning how to protect your peace.

👉 If any of this feels familiar, you don’t have to navigate it alone. In my book ‘Taming Toxic Egos’ available worldwide on Amazon you can understand these difficult dynamics on a deeper level and also how to deal with them in the most effective way.https://mybook.to/TOXICEGOS

13/10/2025

Two weddings. Three engagements. Six wins...

These are the moments that make my work so satisfying!

This year, I was invited to weddings in the US by clients whose journeys I’ve had the privilege to walk beside. Sadly, due to health challenges, I wasn’t able to attend - but I’m hopeful that next year I’ll be celebrating in person with my newly engaged clients. In fact the flights are already booked for one persons wedding which is taking place in Ibiza!!

𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁: watching people come to me from such dark, frightened places and transform into who they were always meant to be.

💡 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 - now standing tall, mentally and emotionally strong.

💡 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻 - now winning in court and securing stability.

💡 𝗠𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘂𝗽 𝗼𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 - now engaged, married, and building the healthy, connected relationships they always deserved.

And the best part? The updates I still receive from past clients. ☺️ The wedding photos, the regular picture updates showing their children thriving, and the joy of watching them live fully again - it all makes my heart so happy.

That’s why I do this work. Because healing isn’t just about surviving trauma - it’s about reclaiming joy, creating stability, and building futures filled with love, safety, and connection.

👉 If you’re in that dark space right now, wondering if things can ever change, please know this: they can. And I’d love to help you take those first steps toward your own transformation. My DMs are always open.

08/10/2025

Feeling lost in life is more common than most people admit.

I see it all the time in my work. On the surface, people look like they’re holding it all together - but underneath, there’s a constant sense of:

💔 “I don’t know what to do next.”
💔 “I feel completely exhausted, I don't want to do 'life' anymore.”
💔 “No one truly sees me, values me, or has my back.”

That combination of exhaustion and feeling undervalued is crushing. It leaves people stuck at a crossroads, unable to move forward because they don’t even know which direction to take, and sometimes it can take you to an even darker place.

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱:
“I don’t know what to do with my life” is rarely the real issue. There’s always a deeper meaning - old wounds, unresolved trauma, or toxic dynamics that drain the life out of you until you can’t see clearly anymore.

That’s where I step in. Helping people find clarity is what i'm really good at. Together, I work with my clients to uncover what’s really going on beneath the surface and once they see it, they finally feel able to move forward.

Because you don’t need to stay stuck. You don’t need to keep living in a cycle of exhaustion and doubt. You deserve clarity. You deserve to feel valued.

If you’re at a crossroads right now, unsure of where to turn or who to talk to, my DMs are always open. Let’s go deeper and find the clarity you need to take your next step.