21/01/2026
Following up yesterday’s post, here’s the rest of the story.
A quick recap...the woman concerned shared a post in a run club WhatsApp group asking if anyone else was marathon training, she was trying to find out if anyone was keen for some longer group runs. There was a bit of a response, but a few days later two men - who she had never met or spoken to - messaged her privately having taken her number from the WhatsApp group and having scoped out her Strava account. This made her feel extremely uncomfortable.
The general consensus was this wasn’t appropriate behaviour. WhatsApp groups are weird, they straddle the public/private divide and sometimes boundaries get blurred, including sending unsolicited messages to someone you’ve never met before.
In terms of how the club handled the issue it wasn’t great. There was confusion, safeguarding wasn’t something that anyone had thought about, people didn’t know how to use safety features and the classic line ‘I’m sure he didnt mean to make you feel uncomfortable’ got thrown around.
This brings me to an important point, it’s not intention that matters, it’s the impact the behaviour has. In this case it made someone uncomfortable, so a conversation is needed about why and the club needs to put guardrails in place to make sure everyone in the community feels comfortable and safe (including looking at using alternative platforms like or which are designed for communities and allow leaders great control and participants more privacy).
As a few people have said, the woman concerned could’ve politely declined the messages or blocked the men concerned, but sadly because of gender power dynamics that’s not always easy to do and, as I’ve explained, in these scenarios we must prioritise impact.