18/09/2023
The ideal ratio is to make 4 comments to every 1 question you ask 😄
From The Occuplaytional Therapist & Lindsay Braman - Therapist & Psychoeducator 💕💕
"How was your day at school?" "Fine"
"What did you guys do?" "I dunno"
"Who did you play with?" "Nobody"
Do you have a kid who answers after-school questions like this?
It can be really frustrating, because what you're trying to say is, "I love you and I was thinking about you today!" and maybe even, "I was wondering how your test went" or "I was feeling so empathetic with you about the friendship issues you're going through" or even "I knew you'd be encountering something new, and I just want to hear it went well."
I can all but guarantee you that -- well, with language modified to be child-appropriate -- any of those statements in the previous paragraph will go over better than the questions will. It's okay to question *yourself* instead, figure out what is at the root of your feeling. And then make a statement.
Statements are less demanding. They don't require response of a child, but they invite it if it's wanted.
This isn't a "trick" to fool kids into answering questions they don't want to. This is a genuine discussion about a means of connection. So that means that for some kids -- you'll make an open-ended statement and they'll still say, "Yeah." or "No." or nothing.
That's okay too. The point isn't to try to make your kid someone they're not.
And some kids just need time to mentally unwind from school before they can even begin to process out loud what it is that they did all day. Sometimes they're quiet for hours and then suddenly start talking at bedtime!
It's all okay. This is just a tool in your tool belt. 😊
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