CJCounselling

18/02/2026

Sometimes clients worry they’re grieving wrong.
That if they’re not crying, or sitting with sadness, or “turning toward” the loss - then maybe they’re avoiding it.

But something I’ve explored with clients before is that us talking about the grief, us wondering whether they’re doing it “right,” is already us being with it.

And, to go one step further, I’ve found clients can feel bad for focusing on practical things, or work, or family responsibilities. They feel like they should be grieving instead.

It feels important to honour the part of you that wants to turn toward the loss.
And it also feels important to honour the part that’s trying to keep things going.

Why can’t that part be part of the grief too?

Instead of seeing work, responsibilities, or day-to-day living as turning away, what happens if we view them as equal and necessary parts of the grieving process?

09/02/2026

02/02/2026

I remember being introduced to parts work and hearing:
"every part of you is trying to help."

Even the ones that feel frustrating or contradictory.

They helped once. They just might not know it’s okay to do something different now.

And the hardest part can be learning how to listen to a part of you that you’ve been arguing with for years.

I’ve found it useful to see what happens if I start from the idea that every part of me is trying to help - and then gently wonder how those different parts of me believe they’re doing that.

Feel free to try it too - if it feels okay

23/01/2026

Discovering you’re neurodivergent as an adult?

Some people notice that things feel worse at first — socially, emotionally, practically. Life may feel harder rather than easier.

Recently, I offered the idea to someone of imagining that you’ve been dragging a boulder behind you on a rope your whole life:

When you’re young, for lots of reasons, you have the energy to walk with it. You barely notice it’s there.
Over time though, the boulder starts to dig into the ground. It drags. It sinks. You have to pull harder and harder until, eventually, it forces you to notice it.
That moment of stopping may feel frightening, frustrating, sad, confusing - or all of the above. You’ve been moving forwards your whole life, and now it can feel like you’re stuck.
And then, sometimes aided in therapy, there’s a realisation: to do anything about the boulder — to lift it, add wheels, or even see whether the rope can be cut — you might need to walk backwards for a while, in order to help yourself.
That can feel like backtracking. Like the opposite of progress.

But the hope is that by realising more clearly what’s been affecting you, you begin to discover you have more options than you had before.

23/12/2025

First time trying therapy or maybe you've tried it before but the therapist didn't feel right?
Here's an article I wrote offering a few ideas on how to go about finding the right one for you

Here's one simple tip that can make all the difference when it comes to choosing the right therapist.

18/11/2025

New to Therapy?

11/11/2025

Hello anyone/everyone,
I'm new to facebook for my therapy service - thought I would start with sharing an article I wrote about my personal experience with my struggle for wanting systems to help me and my difficulty with how I relate to productivity - maybe it might be helpful!

Struggling to find the perfect productivity system to help with ADHD? Find out how embracing flexibility and self-compassion can support.

11/11/2025

Hello!
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