Salvus-CPC

Salvus-CPC Welcome to Salvus-CPC! I'm Christopher, a psychotherapist and clinical supervisor. I work with young people, adults, and couples.

I'm a humanistic therapist and I have training in CBT, and DBT. Specialties: ASD, ADHD, PTSD, and BPD.

07/11/2025

I watched the latest John Lewis advert recently — the one with the father and teenage son.

A simple story, really. A son gives his dad a vinyl from his youth — a song that bridges a distance words can’t quite cross. The father, who’s been doing what so many of us men do — providing, fixing, quietly loving — finally lets himself feel something.

As a father, and as a psychotherapist who’s spent 30 years working with men, that moment hit me hard.
Because that silence — that gap between love and language — it’s everywhere.

I sit with men every week who are exhausted from carrying everything they can’t say.
Men who express love through what they do, not what they say.
Men who want to protect and provide but are told those instincts make them dangerous or outdated.
Men who are constantly walking the tightrope between strength and shame.

We’ve created a culture where masculinity is treated with suspicion, where being dependable or protective is rebranded as oppressive. And yet — I see every day that the world still leans on men who show up, hold steady, and take the hits quietly.

That advert ends with the line: “If you can’t find the words, find the gift.”
But maybe what we need is permission — permission for men to not always have the right words, to not have to apologise for how they love.

As men, we’re told to open up. And yes, we need to. But here’s the catch: when we do, we need to be met with understanding, not judgement — because vulnerability isn’t a performance; it’s a risk.

So here’s what I’m asking — not just to men, but to everyone who cares about us:
When was the last time you really saw a man, beyond his role, beyond what he does?
When was the last time you asked him what he’s carrying — not “are you okay?”, but “what’s it like to hold all that?”

Masculinity isn’t the enemy.
Silence is.
And the antidote isn’t to shame men into softness, but to make space for strength and sensitivity to coexist.

This isn’t a seasonal reflection. It’s an everyday conversation.
Because men don’t stop being men when the tinsel comes down — and the weight we carry doesn’t vanish when the music stops.

16/10/2025

The Paradox of Taking a Break 🌴

Going on holiday or taking time off work is supposed to be restful, right? But for many of us — especially business owners, therapists, or anyone in a role with real responsibility — the idea of “switching off completely” can actually bring more stress than relief.

We tell ourselves we shouldn’t think about work, that rest means total disconnection. But the truth is, for some people, forcing that kind of separation just creates a low hum of anxiety underneath everything else. The mind keeps circling back: What’s happening while I’m away? Has something gone wrong? Will I come back to chaos?

Maybe the problem isn’t that we can’t switch off — it’s that we expect ourselves to.

Instead of striving for total detachment, what if we managed our expectations differently?

Plan a small, structured check-in — say, half an hour or an hour halfway through your break — to look at emails, messages, or updates. Not to work, but just to orient yourself.
Knowing that time is set aside can free your mind from the constant background worry of “I shouldn’t be thinking about work right now.”

Because maybe balance isn’t about shutting reality out — it’s about finding a rhythm between presence and responsibility that actually works for you.

So, when you next take a break, ask yourself:
Am I trying to escape reality, or to meet it differently?

16/10/2025

Three-Minute “Lived Awareness” Practice

1. Pause and Anchor

Take a moment to notice your body in space. Feel your feet on the floor, your hands on your lap, your breath moving.

Simply acknowledge: “I am here, in this body, in this world.”

2. Notice Experience Without Labeling

Observe what is present: sensations, sounds, colors, textures, thoughts, emotions.

Try to notice them as they are, without naming, judging, or interpreting. For example: “There is warmth on my skin,” not “It’s hot.”

3. Expand to Relational Awareness

Consider what is present beyond your own body: the room, the weather, other beings you encounter today.

Recognise your perception as a co-creation of reality — the world shows up through your experiencing of it.

4. End with Reflection

Take a slow breath and note: “This moment, exactly as it is, is real.”

Carry this subtle awareness into the next moments, noticing how experience unfolds without needing to fix or analyse it.

16/10/2025

The West’s Survival Problem

We live in the safest, most comfortable time in human history. Food, warmth, healthcare, and endless entertainment are a given. Yet instead of gratitude and drive, we’ve bred entitlement and fragility.

For most of history, survival was earned daily. That pressure created resilience, purpose, and community. Today, comfort has dulled the survival instinct. Many confuse “rights” with guarantees and expect the state to shield them from every discomfort — calling it fairness or equality. But comfort without consequence breeds weakness.

True progress doesn’t come from more protection; it comes from earned competence. We don’t need to re-create hardship — just to remember that effort, risk, and responsibility are what make life meaningful. Security should protect us from catastrophe, not from consequence.

Maybe it’s time we all rediscovered the drive to survive — not because the world is cruel, but because strength, discipline, and purpose are what keep us truly alive.

29/09/2025

“Here’s to Monday — not the enemy of Sunday, but a reminder that life is still unfolding, and so are you.”

26/09/2025

As both a psychotherapist and an autism clinical specialist, I’ve been following the recent headlines about paracetamol (acetaminophen) use in pregnancy and autism with great interest.

It’s important to clarify that this is not new information. Research into a possible link has been ongoing for more than a decade. Some large cohort studies and reviews have suggested there may be an increased risk of autism or ADHD in children exposed to frequent or prolonged paracetamol use during pregnancy. However, these findings are associations only – they do not prove that paracetamol causes autism.

Other high-quality studies, including sibling-comparison designs, have found no significant link once family and genetic factors are taken into account. Professional bodies such as the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists and the NHS still advise that paracetamol remains the safest option for managing pain and fever in pregnancy when used appropriately.

The take-home message is this:

The evidence suggests a possible increased risk, but it is far from conclusive.

Confounding factors and limitations in study design make it difficult to draw firm conclusions.

Clinical advice has not changed: if paracetamol is needed in pregnancy, it should be used at the lowest effective dose for the shortest possible time, ideally under medical guidance.

My professional perspective is that families deserve balanced, evidence-based information – not alarm. Awareness is valuable, but so too is reassurance that research findings are complex and still evolving.

25/09/2025

Therapy with a Smile

Confession time: as a psychotherapist, people often imagine me sitting in a chair, full of wisdom, nodding seriously like I’ve got all the answers. Truth is… half the time I’m just trying to stop my chair from squeaking at dramatic moments, or wondering if my “hmm” sounded wise or just like I’ve swallowed a biscuit the wrong way.

But here’s the thing — therapy isn’t meant to be all serious and heavy. Yes, we talk about the tough stuff, but we also laugh. A lot. Sometimes the best medicine is that moment when you realise, “Oh, it’s not just me who does that?!”

Life can be messy, weird and a little ridiculous at times — and that’s okay. Healing doesn’t only happen in the tears; it often happens in the chuckles, the sighs of relief, and the shared humour that makes the journey lighter.

So here’s your reminder today: keep going, keep smiling, and remember — even your therapist hasn’t got it all figured out (but I can do a very professional nodding face when needed). 😉

25/09/2025

I know how easy it is to get caught up in the rush of daily life. Work, family, responsibilities—it can all feel relentless at times. When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, I’d invite you to pause, even for a moment, and gently ask yourself:

1. What am I noticing in my body right now?
2. What do I most need in this moment?
3. What’s one small, kind step I can take towards that need?

These questions aren’t about fixing everything, but about giving yourself a little space, a little compassion, right when you need it most. Be gentle with yourself—you deserve that care.

24/09/2025

“Every moment slips away, and yet we act as though we have forever.”

We fill our days with plans and distractions, forgetting how fragile each passing hour really is. The truth is, none of us knows how much time we’re given — and yet, in that uncertainty lies the invitation to live more deeply.

What if we treated each conversation as if it mattered? Each choice as if it shaped a life? Each breath as if it could be the beginning of something new?

Perhaps the real task is not to stretch time endlessly, but to step fully into the time we already have.

19/09/2025

Grooming & Coercive Control: What to Look Out For

Grooming isn’t always about s*x or children online. It’s a process where someone builds trust to gain power and exploit another person. This can be s*xual, financial, criminal, ideological or emotional — and it often overlaps with coercive control (a crime in the UK under the Serious Crime Act 2015).

How groomers operate

- Start with charm, gifts, flattery or “special attention.”

- Create secrecy: “don’t tell anyone, they wouldn’t understand.”

- Chip away at independence — isolating from friends, controlling money, or undermining self-confidence.

- Switch between affection and punishment to keep someone off-balance.

Impact beyond the victim

Groomers rarely target one person in isolation. They often groom the people around their victim too:

Family/friends may be charmed so concerns are dismissed (“they’re lovely, you must be mistaken”).

Professionals (teachers, carers, colleagues) may be manipulated into trusting the groomer, giving them access or overlooking warning signs.

Children in the household may be used as leverage — told to keep secrets, drawn into collusion, or turned against the targeted parent.

This secondary grooming strengthens the abuser’s control and makes the victim feel even less likely to be believed if they speak out.

Red flags

Sudden secrecy or deleted messages.

New relationships that cut someone off from friends/family.

Overly charming behaviour toward relatives/professionals that feels “too good to be true.”

Someone being made to feel constantly guilty, indebted or “in the wrong.”

What to do

Trust your instincts — if behaviour feels manipulative, it probably is.

Preserve evidence (screenshots, notes, dates).

Don’t confront alone — it can increase risk.

Seek support:

Police (999 in danger, 101 non-urgent).

CEOP for concerns about child grooming online.

Refuge / National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247).

NSPCC / Childline for children and young people.

Remember: Grooming thrives on silence and isolation. If you notice patterns in someone close to you — or in yourself — reach out. Being believed and supported is the first step to breaking the control.

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Mansfield

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Monday 8am - 6pm
Tuesday 8am - 8pm
Wednesday 8am - 8pm
Thursday 8am - 3pm
Friday 10am - 3pm
Saturday 9am - 1pm

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