Willow Tree Counselling

12/01/2026

About time too!

Victims will no longer have their counselling notes routinely requested by police, after many reported feeling their privacy was violated.

Such requests have left some victims feeling like they were the ones under investigation, causing distress and leading some to withdraw from the process entirely.

This must never happen. We are deploying the full power of the state to make this country safer for women and girls.

12/01/2026

"Hyper-independence, on the other hand, is not empowerment. It is a trauma response rooted in fear. It is the response of a nervous system that learned early on that no one is coming, support will disappear, people can’t be trusted, help may not arrive, and that abandonment is a real possibility."

Article link in comments. 👇

11/01/2026

Handy to see side by side.

11/01/2026

Comedian Hannah Gadsby has shared how challenging it can be to have their autism recognised and understood.

For a long time, they worried they had been misdiagnosed, believing that they must be “to blame” for the struggles they experienced because their brain didn’t fit the popular ideas of autism.

Hannah describes their brain as a constant whirlwind of thoughts and images - a private library of films, gifs, and hieroglyphic-like ideas - all happening at once.

While they have a vivid internal world, translating it into speech or action can be overwhelming, especially when sensory input or emotions are intense.

They explain that this sometimes leads to temporary loss of verbal ability, a form of selective mutism that exists alongside autism.

Even though Hannah’s childhood provided a safe bubble where they could be themself, stepping out into the wider world meant facing misunderstanding, misdiagnosis, and constant pressure to explain a brain that doesn’t conform to neurotypical expectations.

10/01/2026

Poor Christmas trees 😞

10/01/2026

When triggered, remember to give yourself G.R.A.C.E

09/01/2026

🙌

09/01/2026

In my previous clip, so many of you left thoughtful comments and important insights. A lot of you named something people rarely have language for: the pain isn’t only what the abusive parent did, it’s also what the other parent didn’t do.

So I want to stay with this question: Why did I stay loyal to the parent who didn’t protect me?

For a child, attachment isn’t a preference. It’s a survival system. Your nervous system is wired to keep caregivers close, because closeness is how kids get food, shelter, comfort, and regulation. When the relationship is unsafe or unreliable, the system often chooses connection anyway, because disconnection can be even more threatening.

That’s why loyalty can show up in confusing ways. Sometimes loyalty looks like:
* minimizing what happened
* staying emotionally responsible for them
* feeling guilty for being angry
* blaming yourself because it feels more controllable than admitting the adult failed you

One of the most common strategies kids use is turning the problem inward. “If I’m easier, quieter, more helpful, they’ll finally protect me.”

And it can become the adult pattern of over-functioning, people-pleasing, staying in one-sided relationships, or feeling pulled to take care of people who don’t take care of you.

It’s also important to name this: the parent who didn’t protect you may have loved you. They may have been scared, dependent, dissociated, or trapped in their own trauma.

And the impact can still be real. As a child, your system learned that you could be loved and still not be protected.

When people start seeing this dynamic clearly, they often stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking:

* What did my loyalty help me survive?
* What did I have to believe about myself to stay connected?
* Where do I still feel responsible for other people’s emotions?

That’s where deeper work begins, because trauma isn’t only what happened. It’s what your nervous system had to organize around in order to keep attachment.

If this question hits home, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to rush to forgive or understand it quickly. Start by telling the truth about what the child in you was navigating.

08/01/2026