Marnie Merrilees, Psychologist.

05/12/2025

'I knew that I was safe if I stayed on the phone'

01/12/2025

🐴💕

Dear Blueberry,

I love you. I don’t know how to start this with any other words. I knew of course this day would come, but I don’t think I could ever be ready for it. And I’m sitting here, summoning up the courage to write this, knowing I’ll never have the words, knowing they’ll never be enough, but wanting to share something anyway because so many people loved you and it just feels like the right thing to do. You have been and still are so loved.

You have been my constant, my rock. Through the highest highs and the lowest lows, your gentle presence, your steady heartbeat, the silent moments we shared together have been my everything, the place I could always go to. In those quiet moments we had so many conversations without words; you loved me completely, as I am. You saw my heart and I yours.

I’ve never sat on a horse like you, Blueberry. It was always your heart and your mind that made you the best. We grew together, learned together, believed together. You would enter the arena and just know how special you were - I could feel you grow. The hush of the crowd as everyone turned to look at you. It would make me sit a little taller, shoulders back, head up - I just wanted to do you proud, to show the world what you were capable of; I could feel every muscle in your body move, every breath you took, every shiver of excitement and we would just melt into each other, it was like you could hear my heart speak and I yours. A partnership that everyone talks about, but you can’t really know until you’ve experienced it. And we danced Blueberry, didn’t we dance…

You transformed our sport, yes. The London Olympics was the greatest stage and we had no idea how our worlds would change, just a girl and a horse, trying our best.

But the biggest gift of all was the amount of joy you brought to this world. You made people smile every single day of your life. What a rare and special gift that is. You were born to do it, you always knew who needed extra care - so gentle with my children and the many others who met you, particularly those unwell. Seeing eyes light up - what a difference you made. To those who were able to meet you, even if just passing by, you gave hope, love and belief - you genuinely changed people’s lives, just with a touch, a nuzzle, warm breath on a face; just by being you. I’m so glad William and Isabella met you - they will grow up knowing your name, hearing stories about you, looking at pictures and videos of you. You will live on, not just in theirs, but in so many peoples’ hearts, and that gives me great happiness - you deserve to, and will be, remembered forever.

You chose me. And I was forever yours. I don’t know why, or how, but I thank my lucky stars you did. Our story is one that anyone who’s ever loved a horse can relate to - far beyond the medals and the talent, the reason to keep going, the reason we get up in the morning and do what we do, for the simple love of a horse.

You have been, and always will be, my one in a million and it has been the honour of my life to be not only your dance partner but best friend. The magic we had, no one can take from us, and we will dance again one day.

I feel you with me, I know you’re here. I saw a robin after I’d finished my tests the other day - just sitting quietly nearby, watching. Joined by a second before both flying off. You and Uti, always side by side, together always. I miss you both, more than I can say. The robin stayed just long enough for me to know you were there with me. It lifts me, and I will always look for you.

I love you Blueberry.

With every inch of my heart.

Forever and always.

My beautiful, best boy x

29/11/2025

21/11/2025

Newcastle Thunder is delighted to announce that Keith Christie has been appointed Honorary President of the club in recognition of his long and outstanding service to rugby league in the North East.

READ IN FULL > https://www.thunderrugby.co.uk/article/839/keith-christie-appointed-honorary-president

18/11/2025

🗣️ “So many women have lost their lives. Some of these perpetrators are still hiding behind the guise of su***de. It isn’t su***de.”

📩 Read our latest newsletter from Jackie Long:
https://channel4news.substack.com/p/the-fight-to-recognise-domestic-abuse

16/11/2025

10/11/2025

“After he shot me, Jim probably thought I was dead. I mean, who wouldn’t? After all of that? But I wasn’t dead. I am not, it turns out, easy to kill.”

Christy Martin, former world champion boxer, married her trainer in 1992.

In November 2010, he tried to kill her.

Read the full story: playerstribu.ne/ChristyMartin

📸: Jed Jacobsohn

Content Warning: This essay contains strong language about, and detailed descriptions of, violent activity, domestic abuse, drug use, and su***de.

19/10/2025

🚨 New Podcast release soon 🔜 with the incredible Andrew Jenkins, severe brain injury survivor and mental health advocate & Traitors finalist. It’s a fantastic story of resilience and one I’m sure will all find informative You can listen or watch on YouTube, Apple 🍏, Spotify and other platforms.

Find me on all social media

12/10/2025

Proud to support and sponsor professional boxer 🥊Jordan Barker-Porter, an inspiring example of local female talent and determination. Wishing you every success for fight night on 22nd November 2025 at Rainton Arena. Looking forward to seeing you in action 🥊💥

Huge thank you to Marnie Merrilees high performance psychologist for sponsoring my upcoming fight on 22nd November 🤝🏽

Extremely grateful to have people back and support the journey. End the year with a bang.

22.11.25 | Rainton Arena | Tickets £60pp

10/10/2025

Hope is emerging from an unexpected source: psychedelics.

A new study has shown that psychedelic-assisted therapy can bring lasting relief for people battling depression. Unlike traditional antidepressants, which often take weeks to work and require daily use, psychedelic therapy involves just a few guided sessions, yet the effects can endure for months, sometimes even longer.

The treatment works by pairing carefully administered psychedelic compounds with professional therapy. During these sessions, patients experience a deep shift in consciousness that allows them to see their thoughts, emotions, and memories from a new perspective. This “reset” effect seems to break the rigid cycles of negative thinking that fuel depression, giving the brain a chance to rewire itself in healthier ways.

For many patients, the difference is life-changing. Instead of being trapped in a constant fog of sadness, they report clarity, connection, and renewed hope. Early trials have found that even people with treatment-resistant depression—those who have tried every medication without success, are showing remarkable improvements.

What makes this discovery even more powerful is the durability of the results. While standard antidepressants must be taken indefinitely, psychedelic therapy may require only occasional sessions to maintain its benefits. This could revolutionise mental health care, reducing dependence on daily medication and offering a more holistic, life-restoring approach.

Of course, researchers stress that this is not about casual use but carefully controlled therapy guided by trained professionals. Still, the potential is enormous. We may be entering a new era where psychedelics are no longer dismissed as counterculture relics but recognised as powerful tools for healing the mind.

This breakthrough is more than science, it is a reminder that even in the darkest places, new light can be found.