Captain Tootys Biker Smiles page

13/11/2025

The Thirsty Thursday Smile:
I just got sacked from my job on the funfair! I'm suing them for funfair dismissal.

12/11/2025

The Wacky Wednesday smile :
An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive European sports car…

Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.

He yells, "Look what you did to my car…!!!”
"You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!"

"Oh my…" the old man said nervously, "I don't have that kind of money.”

“Let me call my son…,” he said with hope,
“he trains dolphins and he will know what to do."

"Dolphins..!?!?!" the other driver huffed, while rolling his eyes.

The old man pulled out his phone, dialed his son, and just as his son answered, the irate man snatched the phone away from the old man.

"So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh..?!?!” The irate man yelled, “Well, your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need TEN GRAND right now, or I'm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp…!!"

"I'll be there in 10 minutes," says the voice calmly on the other end.

Exactly 10 minutes later, a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.

When he finished, he walked over to his father and said….

"For the last time dad, I train Seals…
Navy Seals.”

“NOT dolphins..!!”

11/11/2025

11/11/2025

💥 JON BON JOVI SHOCKS THE WORLD — DONATES HIS ENTIRE $12 MILLION TOUR EARNINGS TO BUILD HOMES FOR THE HOMELESS! 🏠🔥

This wasn’t a concert, it was a strike straight to the world’s heart. Jon Bon Jovi has just given away every dollar from his 2025 tour to launch “Homes of Hope”, a project to build 150 houses and 300 shelter beds for families who’ve lost everything.

Elton John called it “the highest form of rock & roll humanity,” while Oprah said, “This is when music truly changes the world.” But what left everyone speechless was this — the first location of the project is tied to a tragedy from Jon’s own past. ❤️🎸👏

11/11/2025

11/11/2025

One more of your fav west coast models: Pamela appeared three times in our work. Can you help make it four times? 😇

Photography: Christian Kieffer
Model: .marie_
Hair:
Lingerie from:

11/11/2025

The Loopy Tuesday Smile:
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time:
Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing.
Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a parachute club.
She replied. "Are you nuts? You are 70 years old, and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a membership card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me. "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Pr******te Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again, I really don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week."
The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that she had fainted.
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun! 🤣

10/11/2025

The Mad Monday Smile :
PROSTATE EXAMINATION:

An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.

When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female doctor says:
"I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably heard or used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, 99."

The old guy obeys and says. "99."

The doctor says. "Great... Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say. "99."

Again, the old guy says. "99."

The doctor said. “Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your p***s, to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say. 99."

The old guy begins.
"One...
Two…
Three…" 😂😂

09/11/2025

The Sunday Morning Smile :
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman were driving through the desert. All of a sudden their car breaks down. So they each decide to go for help, and take something from the car with them.
The Englishman says "I'm gonna take a seat, so if I get tired I can sit down. The Scotsman says "I'm gonna take the radiator because there's water in it if I need a drink".
They both look at the Irishman who's ripping the door off the car, and ask
"why are you taking the door?".
The Irishman replies "because if it gets too hot I can wind the window down!". 😁

08/11/2025

The Silly Saturday Smile :
I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”

07/11/2025

Start your engines!!!