14/11/2025
Are you effected by someone else's drug or alcohol use? Did you know Hamoaze House Plymouth run a support group every Friday, see information below for more details.
On Fridays, between 1โ3pm, something very ordinary and very brave happens at Hamoaze House.
People walk through the door who arenโt โthe one with the problem.โ
Theyโre the ones whoโve been holding everything together.
---
For a long time, Sarah (not her real name) thought she didnโt deserve support.
Her partner was the one drinking every day.
Her son was the one using drugs.
She was the one who โshould have known better,โ โshould have left,โ โshould have been strongerโ โ at least, thatโs what the tiny cruel voice in her head told her at 3am.
Sheโd heard it from other people too.
> โYouโre enabling them.โ
> โYouโre part of the problem.โ
> โYou need to be tougher.โ
So she tried being tougher.
She shouted.
She begged.
She hid bottles.
She checked phones.
She didnโt sleep properly for months.
And still, nothing really changed โ except she felt more ashamed, more exhausted, more alone.
One day she saw a post about a **SMART Family & Friends** group at Hamoaze and nearly didnโt come.
> โIโm not the one with the addiction,โ she thought.
> โThere are people worse off than me.โ
> โI should be able to cope.โ
But she also realised something harsh and true:
She *wasnโt* coping.
Her world had shrunk to walking on eggshells around someone elseโs addiction.
Work, friendships, hobbies โ all slowly disappearing.
She felt like a background character in her own life.
So she came.
---
In her first SMART Family & Friends group, nobody asked her:
โWhy didnโt you leave?โ
โWhy did you put up with it?โ
Instead, people asked:
โHow are *you*?โ
โHow are *you* sleeping?โ
โWhat do *you* need today?โ
That was new.
In the group, she met other people whose lives had also been rearranged around someone elseโs drinking or drug use โ partners, parents, adult children, friends.
No one was perfect.
No one had a magic answer.
No one was beyond hope either.
What she found instead were tools and ideas that made sense:
* How to set boundaries without screaming or threatening.
* How to stop checking their phone every 5 minutes.
* How to respond when someone is intoxicated โ and when to step away.
* How to reduce the chaos in *her* life, even if they kept using.
* How to stop feeling solely responsible for someone elseโs choices.
She left that first group a tiny bit lighter.
Nothing at home had changed yet โ the drinking didnโt magically stop.
But *she* had changed just enough to feel like she could survive another week.
She came back the next Friday.
And the Friday after that.
Slowly, the shame started to melt. Not because anything dramatic happened, but because she was finally in a room where nobody judged her for staying, or for leaving, or for not knowing what to do yet.
They just walked alongside her while she worked it out.
---
If youโre reading this and you love someone whoโs using alcohol or drugs in a way thatโs hurting them โ and you โ this is for you:
* You are not weak for being affected by it.
* You are not selfish for needing support.
* You are not โthe problemโ because youโre tired, angry or confused.
You are a human being under strain.
And you deserve a space that is about *you*.
---
# # # SMART Family & Friends Group โ Every Friday
**Time:** Fridays, 1:00pm โ 3:00pm
**Where:** Hamoaze House, Mount Wise, Devonport, Plymouth
**Who itโs for:** Anyone affected by someone elseโs drug or alcohol use โ partners, parents, grandparents, siblings, friends.
You donโt need a referral.
You donโt need to have everything โsortedโ before you come.
You donโt even need to say much โ youโre welcome to just sit, listen and breathe.
If you want to know more or check it out first, you can call us on 01752 566100 and ask about the SMART Family & Friends group.
If youโre carrying shame, blame, or โI should be coping by nowโ on your shoulders, you donโt have to keep carrying it alone.
Come and sit with people who understand.
Weโll make space for you.
