Antoinette Tarot Readings

06/05/2023

The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.

(Credit to -Jamila White, - photo credit: Randy Orange)

Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.

From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.

From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart.

From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave.

From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” or “I got you” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when s**t got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.

From all the lies and all the betrayals.

You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.

Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE.

You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right?

You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you.

Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.

So, you don’t trust anyone.

And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.

To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable.

“Never again,” you vow.

But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall.

Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either.

Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming.

It’s a trauma response.

The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.

You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart held.
You are worthy to be adored.
You are worthy to be cherished.
You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy.

You don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.

You are worthy.
Worthy.
Simply because you exist.

-Jamila White,
-photo credit: Randy Orange

05/02/2023

By focusing on the underlying motive, you will be able to see if it is still a belief that holds value to you, or have you outgrown the value of that old belief?
This is what will help you to decide what you feel will help you to make decisions, moving towards your future plans and dreams, that are currently being hampered by the icky stuck feeling of a stalemate situation.
Sometimes taking pity on the situation/person/thing that is draining you in order to remove it from your life. Is the only logical thing to do. When this happens, you know you've grown as a person and you can resume a happy path.

22/09/2022

Live in the now with a peaceful heart 💚🌻

02/09/2022

😆😆😆😆

15/07/2022

Slowly the secrets are being unlocked and allowing the jobs that have plagued you to be completed.
Others can see the shift happening and praise is well deserved for a job well done this week. So don't shy away when you get the recognition coming your way.
Look at how far youve come! Others will want to know how to get their light bulb moment. What can you share? Have you discovered a formula for completing the tasks in hand?

13/07/2022

Well there's a clear message! Top of the deck & base of the deck = Alchemy.
Harmonisation & balance is going to be key. Keeping perspective on what needs to be done, look at what is necessity over desirable achievements on that task list?.
There is no escaping the order of the day, especially with the super moon today adding to the emotional needs of practicality. Once the important paperwork or household jobs are done, do something to relax the mind & body too.

30/06/2022

New Moon in Cancer: are your household affairs and comforts in order? Now is a good time to give them some attention 🌛🌚🌜

13/06/2022

Sometimes, even with your best foot forwards and the best will in the world, you're working with half the facts/information/equipment that you needed to do your job and help others. Be prepared. Some mental strain ahead. Tomorrow's a new day! Let's do it all again, but better. 🌻😁

08/05/2022

What is one small thing that your inner self is asking you to do today?
One thing, to get you that tiny bit closer to your dreams or goals.
🌞🌈🌻

19/04/2022

Time to let yourself just be. Take advantage of this time, and re-define how you live the next step 🌞🌻🌿

17/03/2022