23/09/2025
Good morning,
Today, I'm writing about something I've been struggling with my whole life: the good girl identity.
I'm writing this piece for:
♡those who are raising children so that they may understand that having a "wild" child is actually a blessing in disguise and
♡for those who carry this identity as part of their family of inner parts so that we bring awareness to its existence and help it out of the fears it carries.
Why raising “good children” can mean them a hard time later in life.
The idea of a “good girl/boy” may sound admirable, but too often it hides patterns of submission, fear, and self-denial. It’s less about kindness or responsibility and more about compliance — living for approval, silencing needs, and carrying burdens that don’t belong to them.
*The “Good Girl”*
Body: eats when told and everythingon her plate, ignores her own signals, grows up cut off from her needs.
Voice: avoids saying “no,” doesn’t defend boundaries, becomes vulnerable to abuse.
Mind: raised to excel for praise, lives in fear of being in the wrong and judgment.
Soul: sacrifices endlessly, rarely seen or valued.
She becomes a woman who endures silently, confuses suffering with normality, and exhausts herself to keep others comfortable.
*The “Good Boy”*
Body: taught to hide tears, ignore his pain, sever from sensitivity, see being vulnerable as being weak
Voice: avoids questioning, silences his needs, obeys without protest.
Mind: driven to perform and achieve, fears failure, lives to prove himself.
Soul: takes on responsibility beyond his current capabilities, expected to protect while his own heart is unseen.
He grows into a man who suppresses emotions, carries hidden burdens, and mistakes endurance for worth.
What children (including the inner ones) truly need
Courage to guard their boundaries.
Power to trust their bodies and feelings.
Freedom from living to please.
Authenticity to be themselves, even when it unsettles others.
Knowing that they are never in the wrong.
Learning to see failure as growth.
A compliant child may feel easier for parents. But for the child’s own life, that “good boy” or “good girl” role can be a heavy sentence.
In the next weeks, let's all have a look at these parts of ourselves and the way they come through when interacting with others or raising our children.
Much love
Eirene Gold Inner Alchemy
