Jill Attree - Grief and Loss Specialist

11/12/2025

09/12/2025

9th December. Another year has passed. Another year without my sister, my big sister. The memories, the love, the laughter will always stay with me. I love you Sharon. Thank you for helping me become who I am today. Forever my guiding light xx ❤️

09/12/2025

If you’re grieving this season, please know this: there is no “right” way to get through Christmas. Some days you may feel okay, and other days the weight of missing them feels unbearable. Both are valid.

Grief has a way of showing up louder at this time of year — in the empty chair, the traditions that don’t feel the same, the moments you wish they were still here for you. Some days you may feel okay, and other days you are just about getting through, learning that both can exist at the same time.
Give yourself permission this Christmas — to change traditions, to say no when you need to, to talk about the one you miss, and to feel whatever comes up without judging it. Joy may still find you in small moments, and when it does, allow yourself to feel it without guilt.
If you’re carrying grief this Christmas too, please know you’re not alone. You don’t have to be strong, cheerful, or “over it.” Just showing up — in whatever way you can — is enough.
Holding space for all of us who are missing someone this Christmas 🤍

03/12/2025

This National Grief Awareness Week (2nd–8th December) we would like to highlight the importance of recognising how deeply and differently grief can affect people.

The annual campaign is led by The Good Grief Trust and this year's theme is “Growing with Grief”.

Our latest article encourages open conversations about grief and reminds us that compassionate support can make a meaningful difference.

For anyone feeling the impact of loss, or for anyone supporting someone who is, our article offers reflection, guidance and a reminder that help is available.

https://www.griefspecialists.org/post/standing-with-those-who-grieve-supporting-national-grief-awareness-week-2025

15/10/2025

Wave of Light - tonight 19:00 🕯

🌱 A message of hope
Each loss is a story, a love, a memory that matters. During Baby Loss Awareness Week, we light a candle not just for loss, but for visibility, for healing, and for change.
We hope for:
✨ Better support and understanding for grieving families
✨ Medical research and improved care to prevent loss
✨ A world where grief is held, voices are heard, and no one feels alone
If you’ve felt this kind of grief, your baby mattered — and they’ll always matter. 💗

10/10/2025

Baby loss, regardless of gestational age, is a deeply emotional and often isolating experience. Whether the loss occurs early in pregnancy, during later stages, or even shortly after birth, the grief is profound. Each loss represents the hopes, dreams, and bond that parents begin to form from the moment they learn they are going to become parents.
Society sometimes tends to differentiate grief based on how far along a pregnancy was, but the truth is, no loss is "too early" or "less significant." For the parents, whether it’s six weeks or six months, the attachment to their baby is real. The plans they’ve begun to make, the visions of a future with their child—these are shattered, leaving them to navigate an immense void.
Emotional responses to baby loss are diverse. Some may feel numb, others overwhelmed by sorrow. Guilt, confusion, and anger are also common, as parents question why this happened or what could have been done differently. It’s important to understand that these feelings are valid and natural.
What’s often overlooked is that loss at any gestation can carry a deep sense of loneliness. Parents may feel hesitant to talk about their grief, especially if their loss was early in pregnancy. They may fear their pain won’t be understood or that it will be dismissed. Yet, sharing these experiences can be a vital part of healing.
Support is key—whether it’s through loved ones, counselling, or joining a community of those who have walked a similar path. Every grieving parent deserves space to honour their child, no matter how brief their life may have been.
The message we should send to those experiencing baby loss is clear: Your loss matters. Your grief is valid. Your well-being matters. Together we care.
#

09/10/2025

Today marks the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week 2025, a time to come together to remember and honour the precious babies lost too soon and support families who have experienced the heartache of miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. A time to reflect, remember and reach out. Grief after baby loss can feel confusing, hopeless and often isolating.

Every baby matters, every story deserves to be heard.

For all those who have suffered baby loss my heart goes out to you. Together we can raise awareness, shares stories and advocate for better support and care for those affected by this profound loss. If you are grieving the loss of a baby you don't have to face it alone. If you would like to share your story please do contact me.

www.whenlifewobbles.com
TEL: 07940542660

Please share - you never know who may need to see this.

27/08/2025

I wanted to pop on here today to just express my gratitude to absolutely every person who is involved in fighting the enormous fires up and down the country at this time. The way that they ALL pull together and work as a team is something else. These people put their life on the line to keep us safe. This summer I have really felt ALL the losses that come from these fires. So I say a HUGE heartfelt thankful to our fire service, our farmers, the game keepers and volunteers. You are all incredibly courageous. THANK YOU ❤️ 🔥 ❤️

24/04/2025

I did say that there were many things I wish people understood about grief. Here is another one I hear so much.

I wish people understood they didn’t have to hide their emotions.
So often, someone will sit across from me and say quietly,
“I’m going to cry now…”
And it’s said like a question.
As if they’re asking for permission.
As if tears are something to apologise for.
You don’t have to smile when you’re breaking inside.
You don’t have to keep saying “I’m fine” when you’re anything but.
You don’t have to protect everyone else from your pain.
Somewhere along the way, we seem to have learnt to tuck our emotions away.
To stay composed. That tears make people uncomfortable.
That we need to be strong and that “strong” means holding it all in.
Grief isn’t meant to be tidy.
It’s not polite or predictable.

Grief is meant to be felt. Not hidden. Not buried beneath busy days or polite smiles.
You don’t have to hold yourself together for anyone else’s comfort.
Your pain is not a burden.
Your tears are not a weakness.
You are allowed to feel - fully, honestly, unapologetically.
And if the tears come, let them.
They’re part of the love.
Part of the release.
Part of being human.
There is nothing weak about being real.

22/04/2025

Firstly I must thank Maria Bailey - Grief Specialists for this thought provoking question.

“What is the one thing you wished people understood about grief?”

This really was a difficult question to answer, because there are many things that I wish people understood about grief. I may have to do a series of posts because I feel this is too big a question to just give one answer to. However, today I went for this one because I hear it said so many times when I work with my clients.

“I wish people understood that they don’t have to diminish their own grief.”

So often, I hear something like:
"I know others have lost their dad too."
Or, "My dad was old, he had a good life, so I shouldn’t be this upset.”
Love doesn’t have an expiration date. The ache doesn’t hurt less because 'they had a good life '.
Our grief doesn’t care about age or statistics.
It’s personal. It’s relational. It’s unique to you.
You don’t have to shrink your sorrow just because others carry theirs too.
There’s no quota on heartbreak.
No competition for who’s allowed to feel the most.
There’s room for your tears, even if someone else might cry differently.
There’s space for your story, even if it echoes someone else’s.
You are allowed to grieve fully.
Without disclaimers.
Without apologies.
Allow yourself to feel it, it’s yours and your grief matters.
💔

17/04/2025

Lessons From My Loss

When Sharon died, I learned things I never wanted to learn. But through the pain and sadness, I began to understand what really matters.

Loss teaches us that time is sacred. I had experienced loss before Sharon died that opened my eyes to this, however when Sharon died so suddenly and so young I really did begin to understand that our time with those we love is sacred and something to cherish.
It teaches us to speak love out loud, to forgive, to let go of our anger and to hold people a little longer.

It teaches us that nothing is promised, and yet so much is possible - even after heartbreak. Lynn and I now take those sacred moments and make new memories together to cherish.

Grief shows us how deeply we are capable of feeling. It also reveals the depth of our love, our courage, and our capacity to keep going.

I learnt so much from the death of my sister, it has helped shape who I am, it has taken me down a path that I would never have thought possible and it has ignited a passion inside my heart to guide other people through their loss, whatever that loss may be.

So if you're walking through loss, know this: You are learning, growing, and becoming. Even in the pain, there is hope. Even in the dark, there is light ahead.

15/04/2025

Grief Then vs. Now: What I Wish I Had Known

In 2013, my world shattered. My sister died suddenly, with no warning, and everything I thought I knew about life changed in an instant. The grief was immediate and all-consuming. It hit me so hard. It left me feeling numb, scared, empty, alone and completely unprepared.

I remember the feeling so clearly, this deep, unbearable sadness in my chest that I couldn’t shake. I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone so much, or to feel so lost while everything around me just kept moving. I switched to autopilot, trying to hold things together, trying to be strong for everyone else. But inside, I was breaking.

I wore the mask of someone who was “managing,” but behind it, I was overwhelmed and exhausted - exhausted from pretending, from holding back the tears, from trying to make others feel okay when I was anything but.

What I wish I had known back then is that I didn’t have to be strong all the time. I didn’t have to keep it together for everyone else. I wasn’t weak for needing help. I was grieving. I was human.

Then: The Early Days of My Grief
Grief doesn’t arrive with a manual. It comes crashing in, uninvited and all-consuming. When Sharon died, I thought it was something I had to “push through.” I thought if I just kept busy, kept moving, kept doing that daily ‘thing’, the pain would fade. I believed that time would heal me, that time would make things better. I was so wrong! I didn’t understand that grief isn’t something you “get over.” Grief doesn’t come with a clear beginning, middle, and end.

No one really prepares you for how grief lingers. How it catches you off guard. I was kind of prepared for the birthdays and for Christmas but I wasn’t so prepared for songs, in random moments that seem so ordinary until they suddenly aren’t. I was unprepared for the loneliness, even in a room full of people. And I wish more than anything that I’d felt safe enough to speak more openly about how I was actually feeling.

Now: Grief with Softer Edges
Years later, the grief can still visit, but it’s changed. It doesn’t scream at me like it used to. Sometimes it whispers, sometimes it still stings, normally when it jumps in and slaps me round the face at totally at the wrong moment, but I’ve learned to process my grief, I have learnt to say goodbye to the pain, rather than run from it.
The love I have for my sister didn’t end when her life did. It lives on in me, in the memories, in the way I show up for others, and in how I carry her forward . In a strange way, it has shaped me into someone more empathetic, more present.

🙏What I Wish I Had Known
You don’t have to do it alone. It’s okay to reach out to friends and family. It’s okay to ask for help. You are allowed to fall apart.

Grief doesn’t follow rules. There’s no timeline. There’s no checklist. There is no “right” way to grieve.

It’s okay to not be okay. Pretending you’re fine doesn’t make the pain go away - it just buries it deeper. You don’t have to rush back into life or pretend you're okay to make others comfortable.

Joy and grief can coexist. Laughing again doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten. Living your life doesn’t mean you’ve moved on, it means you’re finding a way to move forward. It is ok to feel happy.

You are allowed to change. Grief will change you. Let it. Let it soften you, open your heart in ways you never expected.

Grief can be quiet. Sometimes it shows up in subtle ways - in forgetfulness, in irritability, in exhaustion. That’s grief, too.

If you’re reading this and you’re in the early days of grief, please know: it won’t always hurt like this. You’ll find space to breathe again. Most importantly, you are not alone.
I ask you to share this today, you never know who may take some comfort at such a sad and difficult time. ❤ If you would like to talk about your grief then please, do contact me - 07940542660