16/11/2025
Yesterday something special happened.
Since I turned 50 my life has changed dramatically and the lead up to the those changes perculated and bubbled through my 40s; a decade I remember started with secret and shameful tears.
Since then I have found a greater sense of inner peace, though there have been some raw moments; they’ve all been lessons, reflections which have been part of the journey bringing me back to myself and helped me realise how I was so busy coping with life I’d lost a big part of me somehow. The deeper part of me, you could say, the connected and real part of me.
Maybe the real me was visible to others but she wasn’t visible to myself. Even when I wrote about my experiences, put pen to paper I wasn’t ready or able to recognise myself. How is it possible to ignore yourself in that way?
That was in 2018 and I found many more ways to ignore myself, abandon myself before I was finally ready to listen.
Habits built over 50 years take a long time to unravel.
Learning to notice those lessons and mirrors has taken time and needed a new way of thinking and feeling… of being.
Opening my heart and mind up to new ways of thinking about my subconscious, my inner child, life, the world and beyond - looking for support and guidance in new places … all of which helped me reconnect to me.
I’ve learned a lot- about perimenopause, ADHD, Autism, positive psychology, somatic practices, trauma…
But it’s my journey with ‘spirituality’ which has been the source of deep transformation and support for me and lead me to yesterday when I took my Novice Robes and began my journey with Buddhism. A journey and a way of being that is founded on love and resonates so deeply with me.
I know I will find so much guidance, support and wisdom here; my challenge is to stay open to receiving and listening. I feel so grateful for this opportunity to grow and be better placed to support others in turn.
Reaching mid life, developing new awareness of ourselves and our interaction with the world and new experiences, an awakening of new parts of ourselves, seems a common whilst unique experience and one I hope to support.
🙏 🫶