Wellness With Kajal

Wellness With Kajal I am accredited relationship, breakup and divorce coach. And this is the work I was born to do. That is where 'Kajal's Healthy Kitchen' was born!

Wellness cooking and natural foods have been a part of my life for decades. My mother's personal struggle with health and wellbeing led me to pursue my passion for cooking and make a difference in the world around me. Over the last 28 years, I've learned that we are deeply rooted in mother nature, which provides and heals if we stop and listen to the body.
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Having experienced firsthand the power

of nutrition and a balanced lifestyle in bringing back my mother from stage 4 cancer, I embarked on a journey of becoming a wellness chef and nutritional expert.​

I started by creating my own recipes using ancient healing ingredients, some of which are now known as superfoods, and brought them to a plate as a piece of art. It was my mission to change the idea that healthy eating was boring, bland, and uninspiring! I am a well-being coach and see clients online. I run online wellbeing programs, workshops, supper clubs, and wellbeing retreats. Get in touch with me by PM or by visiting my website www.kajalskitchen.com https://www.kajalskitchen.com/

A lawyer walked into my space a few weeks ago and the first thing she said to me was, I feel like a hippo.Not because of...
21/04/2026

A lawyer walked into my space a few weeks ago and the first thing she said to me was, I feel like a hippo.

Not because of how she looked. She was strong, well put together, the kind of woman you see in a room and immediately understand that she is someone, a career built on being the person who always has the answer, a good partner at home, financial security, everything that from the outside looks like a life that is working, but inside she was exhausted in a way she couldn’t explain.

Her lower back had been hurting for years, not from an injury, not from anything a doctor could find and fix, just a constant heaviness she had stopped questioning. She couldn’t sleep properly, her digestion was off, and even though she had been doing yoga faithfully for eight years she could never do a headstand. She had quietly decided that was just how her body was.

When she told me all of this I wasn’t thinking about her back or her sleep or her headstand. I was thinking, what has she been carrying, and where has she been putting it.

When you spend years leading entirely from the mind, and as a lawyer that is not just a habit but a requirement, everything else gets pushed aside. The feelings you didn’t have time for, the exhaustion you performed your way through, the things you swallowed because there was a client to serve or a case to win or a home to hold together. They don’t disappear, they settle, and one of the places they settle most deeply is the lower back, which carries the weight of everything we have been responsible for without rest.

She had been carrying it for years and calling it a bad back!

Over our sessions we worked through the five bodies, giving the mind permission to offload what it had been holding alone, moving into what was underneath the performance and the word fine, reconnecting with the gut and the instinct that logic-led living had completely overridden.

Session by session something began to shift, the heaviness lifted and her whole body began to feel like it belonged to her again, and then after four sessions she went to yoga and she did a headstand for the first time in eight years.

“I don’t know what you did,” she messaged me that day, “but something has moved and I feel light.”

She still has one foot on the wall, but she is up, she is in the rise!

Does your lower back hurt in a way that has become background noise? Are you the person everyone looks for answers, at work, at home, in every room you walk into, tired in a way that a holiday hasn’t touched, that sleep hasn’t fixed, that the next achievement hasn’t reached?

If something in you just quietly said yes, that is not your body failing you, it is your body trying to tell you something it has been trying to tell you for a long time. You are not broken, you are overburdened, and there is a difference.

What has your body been quietly saying that you’ve been calling something else? Kajal Kaj

The Woman Who Grieved TwiceShe came quietly. The way most people do when they are carrying more than they can name.She h...
09/04/2026

The Woman Who Grieved Twice

She came quietly. The way most people do when they are carrying more than they can name.

She had lost her husband six months before she found her way to me. Two children at home, one eight, one ten, and a life that had shifted beneath her feet like sand. As we began to talk, I realised that grief was not the only thing she was carrying.

In the weeks after his passing, the truth had begun to surface. Slowly at first, then all at once, like a tide that could no longer be held back. Betrayals she hadn’t seen coming. A will that left her breathless. A man she thought she knew, revealing himself, too late, to be someone she had never truly known at all.

She had been grieving a person. Now she was also grieving an illusion.

How do you mourn someone who wasn’t who you thought they were?

She found her way to me not through logic, but through something quieter. A pull, an instinct. That part of us that knows, even before the mind catches up, where we need to be.

We began to work together gently, without rush. Not just with words, but with the whole of her. The grief lodged in her chest. The anger she hadn’t yet given herself permission to feel. The confusion that lived in her body long after her mind had tried to make sense of things. The energy that had become tangled around years of giving herself to someone who had taken, quietly, without her ever knowing.

Slowly, something began to shift.
She started to see that the betrayal, as devastating as it was, had also cracked her open. In that opening there was light. There was her! A version of herself she hadn’t met in a very long time.

Not all of her questions got answered. Some questions never will. But by taking the time to work on herself, she stopped needing those questions to be. She started learning to read herself, instead of reading into the untold truth.

What she found instead was something steadier. A ground beneath her feet that belonged only to her. A knowing that she had been through something real and had survived it. That her children had a mother who was learning, slowly and bravely, to come home to herself.
When she first reached out to me, she called it “clearing the crap.” I smiled when I read that. Because that’s exactly what it was. And what grew in its place, quietly, surely, beautifully, was something no one could ever take from her again. Herself!

If something in this story resonates with you, I would love to hear from you. This is the work I do, gently, holistically, and with the whole of you in mind.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
Rumi

Kajal Kaj

She Had No Idea He Was Coming With Her.She’s left, and no longer lives with him, but she still can’t file for divorce. T...
08/04/2026

She Had No Idea He Was Coming With Her.

She’s left, and no longer lives with him, but she still can’t file for divorce. This is a story of one of many of my clients.

To the outside world, this looks like weakness, but to me, it made complete sense.

What many people don’t understand about coercive control and trauma bonding is this, leaving the house is not the same as breaking free.

A trauma bond is not just emotional, It is neurobiological, and It’s a survival response.

The nervous system becomes conditioned to seek safety from the very same person causing the harm.
So even when she’s physically gone, her body is still in survival mode, still watching, still waiting, still bracing for the next threat.

Then comes the cycle that keeps her hooked, intermittent reinforcement.
Moments of warmth, followed by punishment. It’s like a slot machine, those occasional “good” moments become the justification for everything else, and distance doesn’t always mean freedom.

A narcissistic partner can continue to exert control through fear, guilt, financial pressure, and the deep psychological imprint built over years. So this inability to move forward, to take the next legal step, is not a choice, and it is certainly not weakness. It is a natural, conditioned response to prolonged abuse.

This is why willpower alone is never enough.True freedom requires healing on every level, mental, emotional, physical, energetic, and spiritual.

Ttrauma doesn’t just live in the mind, it lives in the body, in the nervous system, in the energy field, in the spirit.

If you know someone who seems “stuck” even after leaving, please don’t tell them to “just move on.”

Hold space for them, encourage the right support. Trust that healing is possible, and if this resonates with you, or someone you love, you don’t have to navigate this alone. This is exactly the work I do. Kajal Kaj

Feeling truly inspired after attending the beautiful book launch of Dr Daksha HiraniListening to her speak so openly ab...
04/04/2026

Feeling truly inspired after attending the beautiful book launch of Dr Daksha Hirani

Listening to her speak so openly about her journey, her experiences with narcissistic patterns, and most importantly her path to healing was incredibly powerful. What really stayed with me was her reminder that while life will always bring pain, suffering is optional… and that true healing begins when we turn inward and reconnect with our own worth.

Her book is not just about understanding difficult relationships, but about finding the courage to feel, heal, and step into an authentic, self-determined life.

It was such a special evening, filled with warmth, connection, and so much love in the room. You could really feel how many lives she has already touched.

So proud to have been there to support her on such a meaningful milestone. Wellness With Kajal

So many of you have messaged asking for my chocolate cake recipe. Please find the link for the full written recipe on th...
31/03/2026

So many of you have messaged asking for my chocolate cake recipe. Please find the link for the full written recipe on the comment section below ⬇️ Wellness With Kajal fans

We’ve learned to name our pain, but have we learned what to do with it?There’s something quietly shifting in the world o...
19/03/2026

We’ve learned to name our pain, but have we learned what to do with it?

There’s something quietly shifting in the world of healing and wellbeing, and I’ve been sitting with it for a while, not quite sure how to say it, but here it is!

Somewhere between the therapy rooms, the podcasts, the breathwork circles and the inner child work, understanding trauma started sliding into something else.

It started sliding into blame. And I get it, I really do. When you finally have a name for why you feel the way you feel, there is enormous relief in that. Years of confusion suddenly make sense. The anger, the shutting down, the patterns in love, all of it becomes explainable.

But explanation is not the same as liberation.

Gabor Maté says trauma is not what happened to you. It’s what happened inside you as a result. And if that’s true, then so is the capacity to heal lives inside you too. Not in the past, not in your parents. In you.

Esther Perel asks it even more directly.

“What are you going to do with what happened to you?”

Not who caused it. What you choose now.

Because here’s what I see in my work with individuals, couples and families. The people who transform are not the ones who stop feeling. They feel everything, but they also reach a point where they stop outsourcing their healing to the story of their past.

They learn to say:
Yes, this hurt me.
Yes, this shaped me.
And now, I get to choose who I become.

That is not bypassing your pain.
That is not excusing anyone who caused it.That is the moment healing becomes real. I’ve sat with hundreds of people in their pain. The ones who found their way through weren’t the ones who stopped hurting.They were the ones who stopped waiting for someone else to fix it.

Your parents shaped your beginning, but you, only you, are responsible for your continuation. You have a choice.

Awareness without ownership is just a very well-explained stuck

We are the most trauma-aware generation in history. The question is, are we the most healed? Wellness With Kajal

16/03/2026

Most relationships fail for the same reason cakes do…You don’t build strong relationships overnight. Just like baking a cake, it takes the right ingredients, patience, warmth, and care. Sometimes it feels messy, uncertainty too, but when nurtured with love, it becomes something beautiful. cake Wellness With Kajal

The retired CEO’s Wife. A woman in her early seventies sat across from me and said something I haven’t stopped thinking ...
16/03/2026

The retired CEO’s Wife.

A woman in her early seventies sat across from me and said something I haven’t stopped thinking about.

Her husband had just retired, after decades as a CEO, he had led teams, made decisions worth millions, and commanded rooms. He was used to things running smoothly around him, and that was always the point. The difference was at work, there were people to make that happen. At home, there was just her.

The meals, the routines, the kids, School runs, the emotional scaffolding of a family. Decades of invisible labour that no one measured, no one promoted her for, and no one retired her from.

Now he was home every day, and the expectations inside the house hadn’t moved an inch.

When she gently suggested that perhaps things could be shared, his response was familiar. He had worked hard all his life, made life affordable for all! Why should he start doing housework now?

But so had she. Her work simply had no title, no salary, and no exit package.
Then she said the thing that revealed the real weight she was carrying.

“If I leave this marriage, he becomes my children’s responsibility. How can I do that to them?”

This is the quiet bind many retired CEO’s women are living inside, long after the corner office has emptied.

High-achieving men are often celebrated for what they built professionally, but the question worth asking is, what was being built at home, and by whom, while all of that was happening?

If you are a young leader building your life, partnership, and career, pay attention now. The patterns you create in your 30s quietly become the architect of your 60s. The most successful leaders understand that sustainable performance begins at home. A partnership built on genuine equity doesn’t drain you, it grounds you. What you model at home shapes the leaders your children become and the life you will one day retire into. Wellness With Kajal

MAA, the first word most of us ever spoke.Not a title, not a role! A sound that lives in the body before the mind even l...
15/03/2026

MAA, the first word most of us ever spoke.

Not a title, not a role! A sound that lives in the body before the mind even learns language.

In Sanskrit, the root mā means to measure, to know, to give finite form to something infinite. A mother is called Māta because she measures the immeasurable, gives a finite shape to the infinite, and that is extraordinary. Every breath of safety, every moment of being held, every time someone saw us and stayed, that was maa at work, and yet we have built a world where that word is tied almost entirely to biology. To a womb, to a birth certificate.

I have sat with enough people in my therapy room to know the truth that most are too polite to say out loud. Not everyone who gives birth nurtures, and not everyone who nurtures gives birth.
The real question is not who carried you. It is who held you.

Feminine creative power cannot always be contained within a womb. It lives in the aunt who always made time when your mother didn’t. The grandmother who was the whole heartbeat of the family. The teacher who believed in you when you had stopped believing in yourself. The friend who showed up at your door without being asked.

In many traditions, mothering has always extended beyond biology. It is a practice rooted in care, protection, and collective responsibility, a radical form of love that emerges not just from family ties, but from communal bonds. This is not a new idea. It is, in fact, a very ancient one.

Maa was never only about one person. It was a frequency, a quality of presence, a nervous system that regulated another nervous system, a hand that held instead of withdrew.

So this Mother’s Day, I want to honour the women who were never called Maa but who lived it every single day. The ones grieving today because their womb did not carry what their heart was ready for.
The ones who mothered children through difficulty, disease, and distance. The ones whose mother was physically present but emotionally absent, and who have spent years quietly learning to mother themselves.The ones who became the cycle breaker, who chose to give what they never received.

You do not need a birth story to have a mothering story.

Maa is not a biological event, it is a somatic act of presence. It is the nervous system saying you are safe here, you are seen here, you belong here, and that, in every language, in every body, is the most healing sound in the world.

Who is the Maa you are honouring today, whether they share your name, your blood, or simply your story? Wellness With Kajal

The relationships that heal you aren’t the ones where you made yourself smaller to fit.They’re the ones where you arrive...
13/03/2026

The relationships that heal you aren’t the ones where you made yourself smaller to fit.

They’re the ones where you arrived fully, messily, completely, and found someone who didn’t flinch.

You don’t need more people in your life, you need the right ones, and here’s the part nobody tells you! The right ones can’t find you while you’re hiding.

Stop shrinking.
Start being found.
Show up daily.
Shine your light.


Address

Silsoe

Website

https://www.wellnesstree.uk/relationships-divorce-and-breakup

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