18/02/2026
I mentioned on my stories last night about how we’d been having a lovely day, and then out of nowhere I got a huge slap across the face.
Which hurt a little, but shocked me more than anything. I gave Jude some space for a while, he calmed, and we carried on with the transition to his mum’s house.
It’s a tricky topic to talk about, being on the receiving end of your child’s frustrations. How in that moment of overwhelm, how during a meltdown, it can turn into aggression and lashing out. Often at those closest to them. To us.
How at times we might feel afraid of our child, especially as they might be bigger and stronger than us now. Feel like we spend our days walking on eggshells. Flinch at a totally innocent moment and feel incredibly guilty afterwards. Feel incredibly anxious ourselves and find it hard to relax, our bodies being so used to being hyper-vigilant, trying to avoid a meltdown.
But how do you talk about it? We don’t want people to think badly of our children. Hold onto a fear that others will think our children are dangerous, that we can’t cope, and that something will happen to them.
Who do you talk about it with? Who would truly understand what it’s like?
The first few times it happened, when Jude was only 4 or 5, it shocked me deeply. This wasn’t in the parenting plan. This wasn’t how life was supposed to go. I must be doing something wrong. I must be an awful parent. I can’t even make my kid understand what’s right or wrong. Why does he want to hurt me?
As time went on, as I learned more about autism, anxiety, meltdowns, aggression, and self injurious behaviours, I changed my way of thinking.
These moments aren’t my fault. Nor are they Jude or Tommy’s. Nor are we the only family experiencing moments like this.
I got hundreds of messages last night, people saying they felt seen, relieved to know they’re not the only ones. And whilst that knowledge might not help when you’re in the midst of a meltdown, I hope it helps afterwards. To know it’s not your fault. To know there’s so many other families out there who get it.
To know you’re not alone ❤️
