04/04/2026
Watching MAFS Australia this year, the “mean girl” behaviour has been hard to watch.
And if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of that kind of nonsense in real life, it can feel quite triggering too.
Women calling themselves “girls’ girls”, while calling other women names, making fun of them, being spiteful, gaslighting, eye rolling, intimidating and bullying in that very sly, playground way that makes you question yourself.
As a viewer, it’s often obvious what is driving it, jealousy, insecurity, not getting what they want, seeing someone else happy and wanting to take the shine off it.
Then comes the usual defence:
“It’s not bullying.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“It was only banter.”
“I was only joking.”
But let’s be clear.
If it makes someone feel small, uncomfortable, upset, embarrassed, anxious or less than, it isn’t banter.
It isn’t harmless.
It’s bullying.
And if you are in a so-called friendship or group where you regularly come away feeling drained, confused, on edge or upset, that isn’t friendship.
If you dread seeing them, brace yourself before meeting up, replay conversations afterwards, or feel like you have to shrink yourself to keep the peace, something is off.
On MAFS, the women on the receiving end couldn’t exactly walk away.
In real life, you can.
You can put boundaries in place.
You can speak up.
You can step back.
You can leave altogether.
That might sound like:
“I don’t want to be spoken to like that.”
“That didn’t feel kind or funny to me.”
“I’m not available for friendships that leave me feeling bad about myself.”
“I’m taking a step back from this friendship.”
“This dynamic doesn’t align with my values.”
“I think we’ve grown apart, and I need some distance.”
“I’m no longer willing to keep explaining away behaviour that hurts me.”
Not every friendship is meant to last.
Not every person deserves continued access to you.
And protecting your peace is not being difficult, dramatic or too sensitive.
It’s self-respect.
Sometimes the most grown-up thing you can do is stop calling something friendship when it feels anything but.