Time For

07/03/2026

Medical gaslighting can be a major issue.

Where someone spends years being dismissed, being told it's all in their head, then the continuation of pain in whatever form becomes more inevitable.

Here I'm thinking of those given the run-around for years with PMDD, endometriosis, anxiety through the roof due to hormonal imbalance....
Even this situation is being harnessed by big pharma in their current TV advertising claiming a wish to work more closely with medics to gain proper attention to the matters of female pain.....

A whole heap of difficult philosophical thoughts in this - and all the while people continue to be disbelieved, told that what they describe just isn't true
Those feeling certain that they're in the wrong body, those who see themselves differently in the mirror, denied care because they "mustn't think like that", or "can't possibly have that".

Long term issues need long term reliable support.
Being heard, and importantly believed, no matter how many times that pain is mentioned.

Because that pain doesn't pay attention to quick and easy slogans, or target statements.

That pain is real.
Physical or emotional.

And if you need or wish to tell me about that pain, I will believe you. Doesn't matter if it's the first time, or the 50th time.

Su***de prevention does not come from slogans or telling people to “get therapy.”

Ongoing, dependable connection prevents su***de. Not surface contact. People who show up, stay in contact, and do not argue with someone’s reality. Isolation increases risk. Consistent relational presence lowers it.

Reduction of harm prevents su***de. When abuse, harassment, and coercion stop, risk drops. You cannot regulate in an environment that keeps injuring you.

Material stability prevents su***de. Housing, income, food, medical care, pain treatment. Chronic precarity keeps the body in prolonged stress. Stabilizing the basics lowers the load.

Credible justice and accountability prevent su***de. When harm is acknowledged and there are consequences, the sense of endless threat decreases. When institutions deny or distort, risk increases.

Relief of unremitting physical pain prevents su***de. Untreated pain is a major driver. Effective medical response changes outcomes.

Community belonging prevents su***de. Being part of something that has shared meaning and shared action reduces isolation and increases coherence.

Access to lethal means matters. When highly lethal methods are harder to access, su***de rates go down. This is well documented in public health research.

Follow-up after crisis prevents su***de. Not a discharge and silence, but steady contact in the days and weeks after acute risk.

Cultural conditions affect suicidality. Societies with extreme inequality, social fragmentation, and normalized violence have higher su***de rates. Conditions that support dignity, safety, and shared responsibility lower them.

Su***de prevention is structural, relational, and material. When those conditions are strengthened, risk decreases.

06/03/2026

Might well be a worthy read....

My heart goes out to you if you experience chronic stress on your nervous system. That includes if you have unresolved trauma, recurrent pain, or any of the so-called mental health conditions.

I experienced such extreme and persistent stress and insufficient support that it nearly killed me. I was flattened for years.

The only reason I survived was because I had a basic understanding of the neurobiology of trauma, pain, and recovery. I had a few concepts and terms for what was already happening in my body and life. That gave me the clarity I needed to develop my own neuroscience-based recovery plan. It saved my life after 3 standard treatments nearly killed me in 3 years.

It's been a brutal struggle for years, but I've learned a tremendous amount through experience and study, and my symptoms are so greatly reduced that I'm starting to have a life worth living. It's no longer just a struggle in isolation and pain. I'm building relationships, doing meaningful work, and enjoying life in ways I haven't been able to in years.

Part of how I build a life worth living is by sharing what I've learned so other people don't end up like I did, or if they have, they find hope for a better tomorrow through understanding their nervous systems and what they need. Many people are doing so.

If this resonates with you and you would like more information, you might like to start with these two articles from the Trauma Aware America blog.

"Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB): a Compelling Framework for Trauma and Chronic Stress Recovery"
https://traumaawareamerica.org/welcome-to-trauma-aware-america/all-about-trauma/interpersonal-neurobiology-ipnb-a-compelling-framework-for-trauma-and-chronic-stress-recovery/?amp=1

"IPNB-Informed Recovery Plan for Stress or Trauma"
https://traumaawareamerica.org/welcome-to-trauma-aware-america/all-about-trauma/interpersonal-neurobiology-ipnb-a-compelling-framework-for-trauma-and-chronic-stress-recovery/ipnb-informed-recovery-plan-for-stress-or-trauma/?amp=1

06/03/2026

Seen on a colleague's page....
... and feeling pretty sure that there's a few folk who might need to see this.

Be reminded of the strength and moral compass that allowed you to decide that you would not simply continue to pass it on down the line.

05/03/2026

Well.
This is most excellent.


This is what FB messenger is choosing to show in lieu of the actual messages that have been sent 🙄

Please do know that I'm not ignoring you at all.

I'll try again tomorrow......

02/03/2026

This sentiment is often brought into work with me.

Meeting yourself for real.

Not what others have told you you are (according to them and their requirements for you to be in order for their senses to avoid challenges)

Not the failure you've been told you are and the impossibly high standards that any internal judgement then decrees.

Not the disappointment that others' words have implied you are.

Really meeting yourself, in your humanity, your glories, your challenges, your learnings gained and your learnings yet to come.

If you're wanting to meet yourself, I could be able to help with that.

Using unique-to-you combinations of useful efforts, including CBT, hypnotherapy, talking therapy, guided meditation, future pacing, oftentimes early traumas can be addressed without the need to revamp them all over again.

Contact in confidence to discuss your aims.

Text - 07906260310
Email - contact@timeforcounselling.co.uk

26/02/2026

26/02/2026

I've attended required group supervision sessions where the welcome has been.....um......less than warm.

I've been left facing equipment I didn't know..... feeling stupid..... left alone as those who knew helped themselves and then walked off....

I spent that morning without.

Blocked from asking questions. .... not only about the new-to-me equipment, but also more profession specific enquiries.

That group meeting did not see me again.

If you are looking for a group that welcomes you, asks you if you're ok, offers suitable guidance (especially with equipment!) then keep an eye on here.

With an NHS acknowledged supervisor qualification, nearly 30 years of experience, here could be a decent enough place to come for support, guidance, conversation.

Bookmark here..... I'll be back with details when figured and secured.

23/02/2026

A gentle reminder for those who, like me, don't have the excellent memory of an elephant 🐘

My fees increased at the start of this month.
A reluctant increase, but having held fees the same for years, it is now necessary in order to continue.

Thank you for your understanding and continued confidence.

Ros.

22/02/2026

What a joy to have seen so much of the sun today!

After an interminable run of dreary, dreich and rainy weather, the sunshine brought a sense of uplift and promise of the Spring and Summer to come.

Here's to the waking earth and energies of growth 🙏

Wishing you all a good-enough week.

Ros

21/02/2026

Too many times!

Way too many times folk have sat with me - brave folk, for trying again with a mental health practitioner! - and told me of lots of this nonsense.

Blaming the person - "why didn't you leave?" and other such nonsense.

Sadly I have seen this first hand in the psych wards..... and I had to manage that professional out of the way. Their whole thing of "we know what we're doing, we're the professionals, you don't...." was an outrageous stance when speaking with rightfully worried relatives on the phone.

Outrageous.

Here, with me, you will not hear any of this nonsense.
You don't have to persuade me to believe you.
I've probably seen it, so I don't need persuading.

Equally, and shockingly, I've sat with folk who have told of previous 'therapists' who worked on the theory that to process and heal from trauma, they - the therapist - would need to provoke, deliberately , full-on flashbacks.

W. T. H.

Hallo???? If you're in utter survival mode, there's no 'processing' available!

And what the heck was that?! Some sad voyeuristic level of the therapist feeling good about themselves because the person they sat with was now wrecked? WTH.
Not here.

Not ever.

Having said that, if an accidental trigger is discovered , we can address that.
You will be safe.

Ever the alleged maverick - because I never really believed all the statutory psychiatry stuff....

So, you're welcome to join me in a journey of discovery.
It just won't be the same as you've had before.

Contact to discuss
E: contact@timeforcounselling.co.uk
Text: 07906260310

"Top 10 Bad Things Therapists Say to Trauma Survivors"

Having fired 13 mental illness industry workers in 6.5 years, I experienced a lot of indifference and harm. These are not isolated events; they are endemic in an industry that denies the reality of trauma.

1. Dismissing or Minimizing the Trauma:

“That was a long time ago. Why does it still affect you?”

“Other people have been through worse.”

“It’s time to move on.”

“You’re letting this define you.”

“You’re stuck in a victim mentality.”

2. Gaslighting or Invalidating Experiences:

“Are you sure that really happened?”

“Maybe you’re misremembering.”

“Your perception might be distorted.”

“It probably wasn’t as bad as you think.”

3. Pathologizing Normal Trauma Responses:

“You’re overreacting.”

“You’re being too sensitive.”

“That’s just your anxiety talking.”

“You have to change your thinking.”

4. Blaming or Implying Personal Responsibility:

“What did you do to attract this?”

“You have to take responsibility for your part.”

“If you keep focusing on it, you’re choosing to suffer.”

“Forgiveness is for you, not them.”

5. Over-Reliance on Cognitive Techniques:

“Let’s reframe that thought.”

“Just challenge the belief.”

“Your feelings aren’t facts.”

“Let’s do some CBT worksheets.”

6. Forcing Exposure or Emotional Overload:

“You need to talk about it to heal.”

“Reliving it will help you process it.”

“Just sit with the discomfort.”

“You have to push through it.”

7. Toxic Positivity or Oversimplified Solutions:

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“Just practice gratitude.”

“You’re strong, you’ll get through this.”

“Focus on the positive.”

8. Ignoring the Nervous System and Somatic Experience:

“It’s all in your head.”

“Your body is reacting for no reason.”

“Just breathe through it.”

“Have you tried meditation?”

9. Dismissing Systemic or Institutional Harm:

“Maybe they didn’t mean it that way.”

“You have to work within the system.”

“The legal process is what it is.”

“Not all doctors/therapists/police are like that.”

10. Using Therapy Jargon to Avoid Accountability:

“You’re resistant to treatment.”

“You have trust issues.”

“Maybe you just aren’t ready to heal.”

“You need to work on your attachment wounds.”