Cleft & Becoming

Cleft & Becoming Real life, day-to-day experiences, alongside confidence, identity, and emotional well-being.

A space for honesty, visibility, and the parts that don’t always get talked about. Connection, understanding, and support without judgment, fixing, or pressure.

21/02/2026

Being sick when you’ve been born with a cleft isn’t just feeling unwell… it physically hurts your face.

💛 I’ve been a bit quiet this week…

Truthfully, I haven’t been very well.

And something I don’t think people realise is how much being physically sick affects those of us born with a cleft.

When you’re vomiting…
when your sinuses flare…
when your face feels full of pressure…

it’s not just illness.

It feels like your whole face is hurting from the inside out.

Old surgery sites ache.
Scar tissue feels tight.
Your nose burns.
Your lip throbs.

Things most people recover from in a few days can feel exhausting and overwhelming for us.

💙 Cleft Fact:
Many adults born with cleft lip and palate continue to experience sinus problems and facial sensitivity throughout life due to structural differences, even long after surgery.

And here’s the part people don’t see…

Being unwell can quietly take you back.
Back to hospitals.
Back to recovery rooms.
Back to being the child who just had to be brave again.

Writing my books especially Parenting A Cleft Warrior, came from living these moments.
From knowing that cleft doesn’t end after surgery.
From wanting children and adults to feel seen in the parts people rarely talk about.

Some weeks aren’t about being strong or inspiring.
Some weeks are just about getting through.

If you’ve gone quiet lately…
cancelled plans…
or struggled more than people understand because of your cleft or surgeries

I see you. I really do 🤍

People see recovery. We live the lifelong reality.

19/02/2026

💙 Cleft Fact

Even after repair surgery, some people born with a cleft palate can spend years in speech therapy learning sounds others develop naturally.

Not because we aren’t trying.
Not because we aren’t capable.
But because anatomy makes certain sounds harder to produce.

Imagine thinking carefully about words most people say without effort.

Imagine being interrupted… corrected… or laughed at
just for speaking.

✨ From my book The Smile That Changed the World:

“You speak with your heart, your soul, and your grin,
And let others feel safe when they’re hurting within.”

Some of us learned bravery every time we opened our mouths.

And that strength?
It never leaves you.

🤍

16/02/2026

Curiosity isn’t always harmless.

No one talks about how exhausting it is explaining your face.

No one talks about how tiring it is
answering the same questions
for decades.

Not once.
Not twice.
But hundreds of times.

“What happened to you?”
“Were you in an accident?”
“Why do you look like that?”
“Can you even speak properly?”

And then there are the stares.

The double takes.
The whispering.
The look up… look away… look back again.

People don’t always mean harm.
But ignorance still lands heavy.

What feels like curiosity to them
can feel like exposure to me.

Every explanation pulls something up.

The surgeries.
The comments at school.
The years of braces.
The jaw surgery that went wrong.
The confidence I had to rebuild piece by piece.

Some days I educate.
Some days I advocate.
Some days I give the calm, informative answer.

Other days… I’m just tired.

Tired of being someone’s “what happened?”
Tired of being brave for simply existing.
Tired of pretending the stares don’t register.

And now I’m a mum.

I’m not just protecting my own peace anymore.
I’m modelling to my children that you do not owe the world access to your trauma.

Having a cleft doesn’t make me public property.
My scar isn’t an invitation.
My story isn’t required.

If I answer it’s because I choose to.
Not because I have to.

If you’ve ever felt drained from explaining your difference…
or shrinking under someone’s stare…

You are not overreacting.
You are not too sensitive.
You are human.

🤍
















13/02/2026

🤍Your smile was never a flaw. It was always your power.

A person’s smile doesn’t define a person’s strength, intelligence, or future.

The heart of it:
There is something incredibly powerful about growing up different and choosing to stand tall anyway.

About learning confidence in rooms whene we feel unsure.

About smiling not because it’s easy but because we’ve earned it.

Every appointment.
Every comment.
Every moment we had to be braver than we felt…
It built resilience most people will never understand.

Different doesn’t mean less.
It means depth. It means story. It means strength.

And our smile?
It’s still magic. ✨

12/02/2026

No one talks about how stressful eating in public can be.

🧩Cleft Fact:
Some people with cleft palate experience nasal regurgitation, air escape, or pressure when eating and drinking due to structural differences even after surgery. It doesn’t just disappear because we grew up.

I’ve scanned menus before I’ve scanned the room.
I’ve picked food based on what’s safest not what I actually wanted.

I’ve felt that burning pressure.
That panic when something doesn’t go down right.
That moment where you pray no one noticed.

I’ve laughed it off.
Coughed it off.
Pretended I wasn’t hungry.

Not because I’m dramatic.
Not because I’m insecure.

Because sometimes eating isn’t simple.
Sometimes it’s uncomfortable.
Sometimes it’s painful.
And sometimes… it’s embarrassing.

And when you’ve spent your life managing how your face is perceived, the last thing you want is another reason for someone to look.

Some days I don’t even realise how much mental energy it takes.
Other days, I do.

But I still show up.
I still sit at the table.
I still order.

Confidence isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it’s just staying at the table.

🤍






10/02/2026

🧩Cleft Fact:
A cleft palate can affect sinus drainage and the connection between the mouth and nasal cavity - which means infections, pressure, and even food or sickness coming through the nose can be an ongoing reality for some of us.

Today I’m not feeling resilient about it.

I’ve dealt with constant sinus infections.
I’ve experienced the burning pressure when I’m ill.
I’ve had moments where eating or being sick isn’t just uncomfortable - it’s painful and embarrassing.

And today, I’m tired of pretending that part doesn’t exist.

Some days I carry it well.
Some days I don’t.

And that’s okay.

Strength is being honest 🤍













09/02/2026

🧩 Cleft fact

Isolated cleft palate (without a cleft lip) occurs in roughly 1 in 2,000 births.

Not all clefts are visible.
But that doesn’t make them smaller.

It can still mean years of appointments.
Speech work.
Hearing checks.
Surgery.
Learning to explain yourself before you even understand it.

I’ve learned this:

A scar seen or unseen - tells a story of strength.

Or as I wrote in my book:

“No two smiles are ever the same - and each one deserves love, a name, and no shame.”

Cleft isn’t always obvious.
But it is always real.

And so are we 🤍





06/02/2026

🧩 Cleft fact

A cleft lip and/or palate affects around 1 in 700 babies.

But a cleft isn’t something you “get over” once childhood surgeries end.
For many of us, treatment and surgeries continue into adulthood - I had one just last year.

It can shape confidence, identity, and how safe someone feels in the world, long after the scars have healed.

A scar doesn’t mark weakness.
It marks survival.

If this resonates, please like or follow to help this community grow 🤍

05/02/2026

Confidence doesn’t always roar.
Sometimes it’s the quiet decision to show up anyway.

That’s a line from something I wrote recently, and it’s something I remind myself of often 🤍

Living with a cleft has taught me that confidence isn’t one big moment where everything suddenly feels okay. It’s built in the small, unseen moments - speaking when your voice feels shaky, smiling when you feel self-conscious, walking into spaces where you once felt like you didn’t belong.

Some days it feels easier.
Some days it takes everything.

Both still count.

If today is one of those harder days, you’re not alone in that. 🤍

03/02/2026

✨ All three books are now live. ✨

I’ve carried these stories for a long time.
Quietly. Carefully. Unsure if I was ready to be seen.

My three books are finally published. It’s taken a long time to get here, and it feels quite surreal to be able to say that at last, but I finally got the confidence to do it.

Finding the courage and confidence to press publish didn’t come from feeling fearless - it came from finally deciding my voice matters.

These books are real.
They come from lived experience of a cleft lip and palate, mental health, resilience, and learning to stop shrinking myself to fit the world.

If even one person feels seen or less alone because of these pages, it was worth every doubt.

If I can help just one person feel less invisible, then this was worth sharing.

I’m really proud of this moment 🤍
And this is just the beginning.

Links to all three books are in the comments 🤍

If you’re comfortable sharing and only if you want to -What’s one thing about living with a cleft that people don’t usua...
03/02/2026

If you’re comfortable sharing and only if you want to -
What’s one thing about living with a cleft that people don’t usually see?

You don’t have to explain it perfectly.
You don’t have to reply at all.

This is just a space where it’s allowed 🤍

03/02/2026

Good morning 🤍

I’m still finding my feet with this page, and I wanted to say thank you for being here whether you’ve commented, shared, or just quietly read.

Living with a cleft can be loud at times… and very quiet at others.
This space is for both.

No pressure to share anything today.
Just know you’re welcome here 🤍

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Swansea

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