21/09/2021
Do you get stressed? Tynemouth Counselling’s Dan Entwisle looks at stress - and ways to beat it.
THEY call it stress, but it is a normal reaction to a situation, not unlike an athlete pulling a muscle.
Something you learn when training to be a therapist is that everyone is unique. What may be a massive issue to one person, may not appear to be a big deal to someone else. Because we are all unique, we all have our own ideas, fears, beliefs, ways of doing things, our own take on what is important, and crucially, our own ways of dealing with stress.
So, what is stress?
Put simply, it is the body’s response to something. It can have physical symptoms, and physiological effects that can impact your well being by disrupting sleep, causing anxiety or changing the way we behave. The crucial thing to remember here is that it is the body’s response and that it is quite normal. If you spent the day running up and down hills, or lifting rocks, your body would react. You’d be tired, and your muscles would be sore. If you are putting your mind through stress then it seems perfectly natural that your body – in this case your mind – will respond.
OK, so we know stress is a reaction to an action. But how does knowing this help?
Think of a top athlete. When they’ve pushed themselves to the limit, they take steps to mitigate those muscle pains and strain injuries. Whether it is specialist exercises, sports massage or an ice bath, they recognise the signs and act.
You can do this too, and it’s a lot less traumatic that sitting in a bath of freezing water!
First of all, face your problem. Examine it, and challenge both it and your response. Ask yourself, “Is this something I can influence or control?” If the answer is yes, then look at a strategy to work the problem out. If the answer is no, then ask yourself why you are stressing over something you have no influence over. Consider accepting the situation as is. This does not mean that you give up, or even that you agree with it. It means you recognise it.
Once you’ve got a handle on the issue, look at it in the wider context. Sometimes a problem can appear bigger or more important because it is more immediate. It can block the view of the bigger picture. Will the crisis over a missed deadline today be such a big issue next week? Is this really your problem?
Finally, look at your experience. Whether old or young, you are a survivor, from child brith to adulthood you have got through scrapes and sticky situations before. Is there any reason why you can’t deal with the present problem?
Many years ago when I was a young journalist, I was given some early responsibility. With that responsibility came the inevitable exposure to problems and sure enough after a week or two, I hit a big problem. A complaint with legal implications had landed on my desk. I was out of my depth and frankly, scared. I stressed over it as you might imagine and discussed the matter with my boss. Instead of taking on the problem for me, he told me to deal with it. To actually look at the complaint, and to rely on my training to guide me.
I did as he said. I took an objective look at the problem, took control and put the threats of legal action and professional ruin in context. They diminished in size and I was able to work out a solution to my satisfaction. I can barely remember what the complaint was now, but at the time it seemed like the biggest darkest storm cloud you could imagine.
The boss in question also gave me some simple words of empowerment. “If you weren’t any good at this, I’d not have given you the job.” As the years have passed and as those stressful storms have come and gone, those words have stayed with me.
