FromHurt2Hope

29/11/2025

Thoughts going round and round in your head, and you wish they would be Quiet?

Its, Saturday, rainy and cold outside if you living in the UK. You have lit a nice warm fire, you have your cup of coco or glass of red wine, and trying to read a new novel. Frustratingly you have read the first paragraph five times because you keep getting distracted by those stressful thoughts!!!

Your mind keeps wandering to whether you made a fool of yourself at the last board meeting, or what you should make for Christmas dinner this year....

What if there was a way of managing those distracting thoughts that keep drifting you off course? What if you could gently nudge your thoughts back into the present so you could enjoy reading your book by the fire?

This is not a quick fix, but a start to building mindfulness and mental resilience. The exercise suggestion that follows should be done once a day. It is like going to the gym. If you go once you are not going to develop that body and fitness you envision. You need to work out daily and over time you will see those bulging muscles and six-pack stomach take shape.

Chose a single object. Set your timer for 5 minutes. Keep focusing on that object. I would chose my much loved dog. Notice aspects about the object you have chosen. For me, focusing on my dog, I could notice how smooth her fur feels when I stroke her, the colour of her eyes, her ginger eyelashes, how her chest moves when she breathes, her mood.....

Every time you thoughts start straying, notice that. Don't get all down on yourself, just turn your thoughts back to your focus.

Good luck, I'd be intrigued as to how that felt for you? What object did you chose to focus on?

22/10/2025

Do you think Bright Light can Wipe Away Winter Blues?

A friend shared a fascinating article with me written in the Economist on 17th October 2025 - what do you think?
True or False?

The article suggests that 10% of the population find long, dark nights depressing. Apparently this is known as SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder. Possible contributors to SAD are minimized melatonin, a hormone that balances and keeps an eye on how we sleep. Another culprit could be decreased serotonin levels which may mess with our body's internal rhythms.

Could Antidepressants help? But is that just smothering the cause by focusing only on the symptoms? Can buying luminous light bits and bobs banish the desolate, discouraging, ;dark cloud'?

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My thoughts:
Depends on your perception - if you believe bright lights will lighten your life they probably will, however if you find them over stimulating and cant go to sleep, they won't.

I love the positive message Lipton - Newtonian physicist transformed into a Quantum physicist - wites the book The Biology of Belief. Simplistically, in my understanding of the scientific detail Bruce presents, the membrane of our cells are 'the brains' controlling our bodies. 'The environment' that crosses that membrane can, according to Bruce, redesign our cellular structure. 'The environment' can be our actual physical environment like bright lights or calming nature music, or it can be our thoughts - the positive or negative ones. So if we believe with positive thoughts we can change the cellular structure internally our body responds accordingly.

To add to those understandings Napoleon Hill, author of 'Think and Grow Rich', and Napoleon does not mean solely financially rich, suggests our unconscious believes what we tell it. So if we are upbeat and optimistic in our thinking we will attract bright and cheerful people and circumstances towards us, but if we are depressive and downbeat in our thinking the opposite comes true.

14/10/2025

Are you feeing peaceful today, because:

A heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones.

When I am at peace my body feels restful but also full of excitement and energy, how about you?

Why would you say envy rots the bones?

For me, the core of envy is wanting what you don't have, which leaves you with a feeling of not enough or of deprivation. Feeling like that gets you down, robs you of hope and life, uses up energy in striving and yearning for something you may never have, yet right in front of you there is so much to be thankful for:

- the breath you take, you are alive!

- the beauty around you and in you - that smile or courtesy someone showed you, the delicious buttery croissant you just ate, the sun rising up over the horizon.....

13/10/2025

Are you a Planner or do you opt for being Prompt?

A quick-tempered person does foolish things,
But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.

This is a combination of two proverbs written quite closely in succession.

I agree, prompt is not quite the same as being quick-tempered.
Quick tempered gives more of an image of being out of control, and planning gives a sense of purposefulness and being in control.

What makes us quick tempered? I t can be so many different things:
- someone's assessment of us hits a sore spot, they are truthful in a way we know is correct, but we are not ready to listen to that truth so we defensively lash out
- we are intensely afraid of losing out so we grab quickly with our words
- we are tired and depleted on resources

Whatever makes us quick tempered in a moment, or a day, wastes energy because we take the risk o doing something foolish and thus we have to make amends or restore.

Take a deep breath, do your PQ reps (you can ask me what those are), slow down and listen to your heart, your feelings, and be quiet and still a while to properly assess the situation. It is worth it because in those few moments you may change the situation to love, not hate, and to consistency not confusion.

12/10/2025

Do you keep wishing Life could be Easier?
There is a proverb that may have some answers, it says:

A sluggard’s appetite is never filled, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.

The Cambridge dictionary definition of sluggard is someone who hates work and loves sleep. That made me smile. Related Smart Vocabulary words include:

clock-watcher… (get a job you love and that feels purposeful)

liar …(to yourself that you cant do it, or to others that you will or have done it?)

parasitic… (if you cant support yourself but have the resources to do so)

shirker…(allowing others to carry a heavier load because you don’t do your allocated part)

unambitious….(so boring to be this way when you life is full of opportunities)

The definition of diligence is careful and persistent work or effort:

This proverb indicates to me that it is up to us to make out lives happen, and it is up to us to know what we desire.

So no excuses like:

+ I can’t do it – those are lies we tell ourselves

+ no procrastinating and telling ourselves ‘manyana’.

+ No blaming and

+ No ‘if onlys’:

If only it was better weather

If only my husband / wife would give me more support

If only I knew how…..(find out how!)

11/10/2025

Watch out for those Spur-of-the Moment Words that go on a Rampage and fill you with Regret?

Derbyshire Dales Counselling Services We are not always prepared for Life Challenges, so hear are a few insightful, empowering inspirations to help you navigate the next curved ball, the next discomfort, your painful past, and the next promising relationship. Discover transformative counselling insi...

10/10/2025

Anxiety weighs down the heart,
but a kind word cheers it up.

More wise words from Proverbs.

Recently I taught a client some ways of expressing her feelings in verbally abusive situations. Her practise response was:

‘I feel so much lighter’.

The feelings she had been carrying around for decades were contributing to a cancer diagnosis. Up until now she has lived with the adage, ‘just swallow it up and move on’. Her body was saying – no more, the feelings you are asking me to carry are overwhelming. I’m overburdened. I can’t cope anymore.

There is a simple way to let go of feelings so that you are vulnerable and your most authentic self. In a way that does not get people’s backs up. Instead people want to move forward to support you, or even consider changing. Let me know if you would like to know how to do this so you can feel a whole lot less anxious, and more free.

09/10/2025

Watch out for those who have a Warped Mind!

Proverbs advises:
A person is praised according to their prudence,
and one with a warped mind is despised.

I hardly ever use this word prudence, what does it mean?
Prudence is the ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason, sagacity or shrewdness in the management of affairs. Prudence comes from having the right skills and good judgment in the use of resources. Those with prudence act in a calculated, cautious and circumspect way when facing risk or danger.

Ok, on the other hand what does a warped mind look like?
Something warped is disfigured is not going in a straight line. It is unclear, twisted, out of its natural or normal shape. A warped mind can be different in an unhelpful or hurtful way, it is eccentric weird, strange, and disturbingly abnormal or distorted.

Thus the proverb speaks for itself.
What I like about prudent people is that I know where they are coming from - what they say is what they do and who they are. Thus I know how to position myself in relating to them.

In contrast if I am dealing with someone with a warped mind I feel discomfort, confusion, distrust and sometimes fear. I don't like those feelings at all.

05/10/2025

Seeking something Refreshing?

Yesterday we were inspired by Proverbs to consider whether generosity that leads to abundance, requires trust, and that so often we miss out on giving in this way because we are scared and stingy

King Solomon who wrote Proverbs now adds a different dimension of generosity:

A generous person will prosper;
whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

What does refreshing others require?
I am open to your thoughts......

Some meanderings of my own:
- is it because when we refresh others we are filled up enough inside to look outside and notice what others need?

What does it take to be filled up inside?
That is a big question.

When I am working with couples so often they blame each other and feel disappointed when a partner lets them down and makes them feel empty inside - rejected, abandoned, unvalidated, unsafe.
Recognize those feelings?

Those desires to feel heard, validated, loved, accepted unconditionally - not only if we achieve, often goes a long way back into childhood. Our partner cannot possibly make up for a lifetime of those longings no matter how much they do or don't meet theses needs.

What would happen if you turned those desires 'on their head' and instead of asking someone else to make you feel significant and loved, what if you got filled up inside by doing that for yourself. Take back your power, you were created in a unique and special way. Honour that, believe that, treat yourself as worthy no matter how other people close to you see you or treat you.

And then from that place of refreshment refresh others.

04/10/2025

Generosity vs Stinginess
that is what this morning's proverb is all about:

One person gives freely, yet gains even more;
another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.

I think it is the spirit of giving or withholding that leads to a life of abundance or a minimalistic life. Would you agree?

You can only give generously if you have care and compassion, and you know what it is like do without and then to receive what you need, often undeservingly from others, from God, from drawing the right circumstances and people towards yourself because of your good heart.

You can only give generously when you believe you have, or will have, enough, and that God, the Universe, others, will support you, and when you know how to take good care of yourself.

Withholding comes from fear not love.

01/10/2025

Ok I'm back with a little more from Proverbs, sorry for the gap, but been travelling.

The integrity of the upright guides them,
but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.

Would you agree it is difficult to act with integrity if you do not have clarity and unswerving conviction about what you believe in?

Unfaithfulness and duplicity are linked by the swing bridge of people pleasing and self serving, doing what feels good in the moment or saying this for one person and that for another.