02/03/2021
GOING BACK TO SCHOOL WITH ADHD
I wrote yesterday about general anxiety in teenagers, in the face of going back to school after lockdown.
But I wanted to add some additional things to it to support the neurodiverse community as well. If your child has a diagnosis of ADHD, ASD, SPD, etc, their struggles at this time of change may be even more intense – or rather, it may be intense for different reasons.
If you’re an old hand at this and you’ve been supporting your diagnosed child for years much of this will be old news. But for the newly diagnosed or overwhelmed parents, I hope some of this helps the transition.
Many of the things we can do are the same, in creating routine, using light, using exercise, nourishing the body and talking out worries (please scroll up to yesterdays post for more on this). But there might also be some additional things you can do to ease the tension in the next couple of weeks.
I’ve seen a pretty even split across the community of parents who have felt that learning from home has been impossible, their children can’t focus or won’t engage at all, hate learning on their own, are irritable and upset. And then there are parents who have realised quite how much stress school was causing for their ND child and actually they are calmer, happier and more productive working at home. Their self esteem has grown having not been in a situation they don’t feel they fit in well to. They enjoy their own routine and not having to deal with people every day.
The additional struggles will look different for every teen, of course, but some I’ve seen come up or I know will be an issue, include things like:
Having to adjust to noise after having been working in relative silence.
Having to adjust to the bustle of being in a lot of people,
Having to adjust to uniform after a period of being in soft, comfortable clothing,
In some schools, masks are going to be worn in lessons, for those with sensory issues this is another added layer of stress. For some, a slight discomfort can’t be forgotten and will be their main focus the entire time they are experiencing it. Which isn’t helpful for learning.
Sitting still for an hour at a time. My son gets up approximately 12 times in every school lesson at home, he fiddles, he jiggles his legs violently, he swings on his chair, he shouts sometimes, just because or when frustration builds, he goes to the loo and fills up a drink far more than is necessary, tics repeatedly, taps, drums… and it’s all fine, at home. But pretty annoying for classmates and teachers if there are any of those elements, let alone all of them happening in a classroom setting. Masking these behaviours at school and concentrating on not doing them, just sitting still and being quiet, takes a huge amount of energy and concentration.
Having to fit back in to the correct pace - many ND people don’t work at the same speed as other children and find it more comfortable to work either much faster or slower than their classmates.
Getting used to doing some of the mundane things many children find easy but our children find difficult such as standing in queues, waiting for lessons to start, listening for prolonged periods while instructions are given, or sitting in assemblies.
In addition to all this, change in general is just sometimes a lot harder for ND children, transitions are difficult and uncomfortable, it’s just worth having these things in your mind to support them as well as you can.
Firstly, get your support network in place, make sure your child knows who to talk to or where to go if they find themselves overwhelmed at school. It might be that SENCO will let them talk to you on breaks if they need help calming.
Make sure they have someone they know, like and trust to talk to. That might be you, or it might be a teacher or an aunt or a family friend. But make sure they know they’re aren’t alone and there is always somewhere to turn.
Start the day with some exercise, but particularly useful if they have sensory issues, is to engage the large muscles somehow, walking upstairs two at a time is an easy and cheap way to achieve this. Follow it with some cardio – brisk walk to school and some breathing exercises to calm. Even if you live to far and they have to drive, drop them off a mile away and let them use the chemicals exercise provides for focus.
Chewing uses the jaw muscles and engages the part of the nervous system that makes us feel calm. It’s one reason many children with ADHD over eat, or steal food to get that calm feeling. If your child uses this to calm, look at chewy jewellery or toys, or they can use gum. Give them a chewy snack to take to school such as carrots, or chewy dried fruit like mango.
The addiction to the screens is even more powerful for our ADHDers, due to the dysregulation of dopamine in their brains. Therefore, it might be easier for them to ease up a little before they go back to school. Just start carving out times in the day where it is natural to not include tech. Meal times, while they help you cook, while watching TV – no phones, negotiate a reasonable time to take the phones away in the evening and make sure you keep them over night so sleep isn’t disturbed so they aren’t tempted by them.
Get out uniform with plenty of time and make sure everything fits and is as comfortable as possible. Socks and shoes are always a sticking point! They’ve been slopping around the house in their socks for months, something like tight shoes can take a lot of their focus or cause a meltdown at the door on the first day of school. The sock shop do some fabulous bamboo soft seam socks that are brilliant.
Check PE clothes by having them try them on and wear them for a bit so they can identify that label, that seam that is going to take all their attention from what they’re trying to achieve at school and wear them out from messing with it.
Make sure their masks are comfortable and fit well and have a few so you can wash them and have them ready for a fresh one daily. IF the masks cause anxiety attacks or sensory issues, talk to your school about an exemption on those grounds. Don’t write this script for them and assume they will have these issues, support them to mask wear but if it becomes an issue reassure them you will help them.
Start having a protein heavy breakfast, this will help keep blood sugar even throughout the day and will set them up for better energy regulation and steady mood. Pack lunch and make sure it has protein in it too, avoiding sugary and processed foods that give them that unhelpful high and following low.
We have been using bachs flower remedies the last few years, I love these for kids, they are safe and you can mix them to your childs individual needs. Feel free to get in touch for some advice on how to do this if you like. Useful for everything from anxiety, to struggling during a period of change, to insomnia.
Try and get your sleep hygiene as brilliant as possible, whatever really winds down your child in the evenings – hint – it wont be youtube or tic toc. They might think it’s relaxing, but the brain having to move quickly through short videos does nothing but wake the brain up when it is trying to rest. Comedy is a useful tool, it relaxes the body to laugh and reduces anxiety.
Spend some time this week doing things that make them happy and relaxed, sport, being outside, music, spending time with animals, hugs and snuggling in – all good for good, relaxed brain chemistry.
Work on some coping strategies for the queuing and the hustle and bustle. Grounding may be useful to teach them before they go back to school. You think of something you can see and describe it to yourself, you think of something you can hear, and something you are touching (feet on the floor). Apps like calm or headspace might be useful in the lead up to school and SENCO might allow them to take time out to use them when overwhelmed.
Make sure teachers are aware of your child’s current struggles and learning style, to give them the best possible chance of feeling supported at school. Although by the time they are teenagers, much of the responsibility is put on them to help themselves, so it is worth planning ahead and thinking of strategies to help them manage as well as possible.
Give them a break at home in these first few weeks, just be super kind. They are likely to have more meltdowns and be really really tired. They are likely to take out their frustrations on you and basically be a pile of crap when they come home. Have a decent snack ready, make them a good dinner, snuggle them up and let them rest, their brains will be exhausted even if their bodies are still wired. A weighted blanket can be super useful for calming down after sensory overload. Keep your expectations low as they go back and then slowly build to include things like homework, exercise and chores around the house.
If you need help getting diet and lifestyle right for your ADHD teen over the next few weeks, or more info on any of the above, please get in touch with me for root cause help with all things health. Pop me an email and we can figure out a time to have a 10 minute chat about your needs and how functional nutritional therapy might help life be a little easier - riabower@yahoo.co.uk
Best of luck to all your children returning to school.
