21/10/2025
‼️ Understanding Controlling Behaviour ‼️
Controlling behaviour is one of the most subtle yet damaging forms of abuse. It’s not always about physical violence — often, it begins with small actions that slowly take away a person’s independence, confidence, and sense of self.
A partner who exhibits controlling behaviour may:
• Constantly check where you are or who you’re with
• Isolate you from friends, family, or support systems
• Criticise or belittle you to make you doubt yourself
• Use guilt, fear, or intimidation to influence your decisions
• Wanting to know where you are at all times or checking your phone and social media
• Making decisions for you — what you wear, who you see, or how you spend your time
• Becoming angry or withdrawn if you disagree or say no
• Monitoring your finances, limiting your access to money, or questioning every purchase
• Using guilt or emotional manipulation to get their way (“If you loved me, you would…”)
• Dismissing your feelings or making you question your memory (“You’re overreacting,” or “That never happened”)
• Creating rules or “boundaries” that only serve to control your behaviour
What makes controlling behaviour especially painful is that you might not realise it’s happening. It can be disguised as love, care, or protection — “I just worry about you,” or “I’m only trying to help.” Over time, you may start to doubt yourself, feel guilty for wanting space, or believe you can’t make decisions without your partner’s approval.
During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we encourage everyone to learn the signs of controlling behaviour — in themselves, in their relationships, and in those around them. Awareness is the first step toward change and safety.
If you or someone you know feels controlled, afraid, or unsure in a relationship, please reach out. You are not alone. Help and healing are possible. 💜