Em’s Therapy Space

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Em’s Therapy Space

Private Counselling for adults, teens and couples. Based in a peaceful garden room in Wilmslow.

18/02/2026

I think sometimes we can assume that growth and progress should be a steady, upward trajectory - all confident and linear.

In reality this is rarely the case. Most of the growth I see, in teenagers and adults alike, comes after some sort of dip. Maybe after an exam where their mind went blank, a presentation they froze in, a conversation they wish they handled differently, a decision that didn’t go as planned.

That middle bit can feel really exposing. You can question yourself. You may want to retreat back to what’s comfortable because at least it feels predictable and safer.

However, it’s during this low point where the lesson often is. Not in a ‘everything happens for a reason’ way, just in a very human way. Your brain recalibrates and your perspective shifts. You start to see what didn’t work and why. You think about what you might do differently next time. You tolerate the discomfort instead of running from it and then you try again.

That process, the learning, the honest reflection, the decision to keep going even when it feels really hard is where the growth actually lives.

Comfort keeps things steady. Growth asks you to stay in the discomfort long enough to learn. 🩵

14/02/2026

🩷❤️💖Valentine’s reminder that love is not a cryptic crossword and you should not need investigative skills or emotional forensics just to work out where you stand.🩷❤️💖

🩷❤️💖If you’re analysing response times, replaying conversations in your head, decoding tone shifts, or trying to translate ’I’m fine’ for the hundredth time, that’s not romance, it’s just draining.🩷❤️💖

🩷❤️💖Second guessing yourself because someone can’t say what they mean isn’t passion, it’s confusion dressed up as chemistry.🩷❤️💖

🩷❤️💖Healthy relationships are built on clarity, consistency, and people saying what they actually mean without making you guess.

Confusion isn’t chemistry, intensity isn’t intimacy, mixed signals aren’t mysterious they’re mind-messing.🩷❤️💖

🩷❤️💖Stop calling it passion. It’s bu****it. And life is too short to keep tolerating it.🩷❤️💖

10/02/2026

By the time it topples, it’s usually been wobbling for quite a while.
Falling isn’t the first sign.

Pressure is literally everywhere and daily life is full to the brim with it.
Which is why time without pressure matters so much.

Young people need to know that pausing isn’t optional, it’s a necessity.
So is fun, laughing, actually being a kid. And resting too.

As adults, maybe we need to model this a bit more.
It would be a win-win all round. 🩵🩵

05/02/2026

Small talk keeps things easy.
It fills the gaps. Keeps things polite.

Real talk is different.
It’s saying what you actually feel instead of what sounds better.
And for a lot of people, that’s really bloody hard!

We get used to smoothing things over. Keeping the peace. Saying what’s expected.
So saying what’s true can feel uncomfortable, risky, even exposing.

That’s kind of the point.🩵🩵🩵

03/02/2026

I sometimes use this model from Transactional Analysis in sessions because it’s a really straightforward way of understanding different parts of ourselves.

The Parent ego state is where a lot of our learned stuff sits. The rules, the “shoulds”, the inner critic, but also the caring and protective voice. It’s often shaped by how we were spoken to and treated growing up.

The Adult ego state is the here-and-now part of us. It’s the bit that can pause, think, take in what’s actually happening and respond rather than react.

The Child ego state is about feelings and early experiences. This can show up in a few different ways:
The Adapted Child, which learned to fit in, behave, please or hold things in.
The Rebellious Child, which pushes back, resists, says no, or reacts strongly when it feels controlled or unheard.
The Free Child, which is more spontaneous, playful, expressive, and emotionally open.

The aim isn’t to get rid of any of these parts, but to build awareness of them. Ideally, we want to spend most of our time in the Adult, where we can think clearly and respond rather than react. Noticing when we slip into Parent or Child can be a really helpful first step. 🩵

29/01/2026

People often ask what counselling actually is, or when you’re ‘meant’ to come.

Well, it isn’t somewhere you go to be fixed or told what to do. Most people who come are already functioning and capable. They just have a sense that something isn’t quite working, keeps repeating, or feels harder than it needs to.

Some people come when everything feels overwhelming. Others come earlier, when they notice things starting to pile up. There isn’t a right or a wrong. It looks different for everyone because people and circumstances are all kinds of different.

There’s no set number of sessions or a predictable process. What gets talked about, how sessions feel, and how long someone comes for will look different for everyone.

The common thread is that counselling gives time and space to think things through properly, understand what’s going on, and approach life with more steadiness and independence than before.

Ps.. In my counselling room there’s always a cuppa on offer and it always smells delicious - just saying! 🩵😆

25/01/2026

I’m going into this week doing normal things, work, pilates, walking the dog... but it feels slightly off to be carrying on as if everything is fine, even though realistically there is no useful alternative.

Over the Atlantic, a dangerous and unhinged man leads the charge towards something that looks increasingly like an evil dictatorship. He spreads hate deliberately, lies relentlessly, and appears to fully believe his own delusional bu****it. What’s just as disturbing is how readily this is accepted. Power is at play. Policies are being shaped, influence protected, money prioritised. Challenging it would cost too much, so silence becomes the easier option.

America isn’t distant or abstract. It’s part of the everyday background. Noticing the dissonance feels more honest than pretending it isn’t there. We can’t do much but carry on, but we shouldn’t look away. 🩵

23/01/2026

When I first read about the idea of switching ‘I have to’ to ‘I get to’ I thought it sounded fluffy.
I’m definitely not into toxic positivity or sugar coating BUT I’ve realised - it really can be quite powerful.

Do you ever catch yourself thinking… I have to go to work, I have to clean the house,
I have to help with homework, clubs, life admin, all of it..(I’m sure you do).

Instead, you stop, catch the thought, and think, intentionally: I get to do that.
Not in a shiny, inspirational-quote way, more like a quiet perspective shift.

Because work means you’re able to.
Homework means someone needs you.
The chaos usually means there are people you love in your life.

That tiny switch from have to → get to can genuinely change how it lands in your body.

It doesn’t mean you always have to enjoy it.
And it doesn’t mean you can’t feel fed up.
But changing this perspective can allow gratitude to sneak in and soften the edge. 🩵

Same stuff.
Different lens.

18/01/2026

A lot of teen behaviour makes more sense when you look at the pressure underneath it.

Many teens are constantly managing invisible expectations.
Be liked.
Don’t stand out.
Don’t fall behind.
Don’t mess up.
Don’t worry anyone.

And at the same time, they’re expected to know who they are and where they’re going.

That pressure doesn’t always look like anxiety.
Sometimes it looks like withdrawal, sometimes anger, sometimes silence, sometimes ‘I’m fine’ said very quickly.

When a teen shuts down or pushes back, it’s rarely just defiance for the sake of it. More often, it’s overload.

What helps isn’t fixing or pushing for answers but reducing pressure where possible and staying calm. Letting them know they don’t have to perform or explain everything straight away.

Your steadiness matters more than saying the perfect thing, feeling safe comes before talking.
You don’t need all the answers.
Being the steady place they can come back to is enough. 🩵

14/01/2026

𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠

When something matters, it’s worth learning how to talk about it differently.

Many couples don’t end up in trouble because one person is awful.
They end up here because it no longer feels easy to say what you really think.

So they start avoiding things. Or snapping, or going quiet. Or having the same argument over and over with different words and the same crappy feelings but no outcome.

You might notice you’re walking on eggshells.
Or that you feel weirdly lonely even though you’re still together. Or that everything seems to turn into a row or into awkward, painful silence.

You might both be trying, but somehow missing each other.

If something in you keeps thinking
“We can’t keep doing things like this…”
that’s usually a sign worth listening to.

Sometimes what’s needed isn’t necessarily a big decision, it’s a different kind of conversation.

11/01/2026

An emotion lasts about 90 seconds.
What keeps it going is the meaning we attach to it… Your nervous system calms. 🩵
But your mind keeps replaying. ▶️

Maybe someone doesn’t reply to your message.
You feel that quick drop in your stomach - that’s the emotion.🌊

But then the story kicks in…
They’re ignoring me, I’ve said something wrong, I’m not important.

Now the anxiety sticks around for hours, not because the feeling is still there, but because the story is on a loop. Learning to separate the feeling from the story is one of the most powerful things you can do for anxiety, anger and overwhelm.

You’re not stuck in the emotion.
You’re stuck in the narrative.
And that means you are not as trapped as it feels. 🩵

Address

Wilmslow

Website

http://www.emstherapyspace.co.uk/

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