10/12/2025
W IS FOR WEDNESDAY WISDOM!
I had a recent conversation with a friend about work burnout recently and then I remembered this overview from the book:
When the body says NO!
Our body really can hold the answer if we decide to truly listen to it 👂
There are certain books that don’t just meet you, they confront you, and this one did exactly that. I remember looking for something that could help me understand the silent weight the body carries, the weight we rarely acknowledge because we’ve grown too used to functioning through stress. When I clicked play, Daniel Maté’s calm narration blended so well with his father’s piercing honesty that it felt as if I was being invited into a very intimate conversation. Before long, I wasn’t just listening to a book, I was listening to my own life being explained back to me with clarity and compassion.
1. The body keeps a perfect record, even when the mind tries to forget: Listening to Gabor Maté describe how the body stores unspoken stress felt like a mirror being placed in front of me. He explains that the body never lies, it responds faithfully to every unexpressed emotion, every swallowed anger, every moment we pretend to be fine. The narration made it painfully clear that suppressing pain doesn’t erase it, it simply relocates it into the body’s tissues, organs, and immune system. What we refuse to confront consciously will eventually surface physically, and the body will insist on being heard.
2. Chronic illness often begins with chronic self-neglect: One of the strongest messages that stood out for me is how many people who develop serious illnesses have a lifelong pattern of pleasing others at the expense of themselves. Maté’s examples of patients who could never say “no,” even when their health was failing, were both heartbreaking and familiar. As Daniel narrated, it felt like listening to the quiet tragedies of people who had never been taught that their own needs mattered. Illness, in many cases, becomes the body’s final attempt to force the person to rest, to stop, to choose themselves.
3. Stress is not defined by what happens to us, but by what happens within us: This lesson shifted something in me deeply. Maté explains that stress is not about the external event but about whether we feel supported, safe, and emotionally held as we move through it. Two people can experience the same situation and have completely different physiological reactions. Hearing this in the audiobook made me understand that hidden stress is not always loud, sometimes it is quiet, polite, and buried, yet it damages the body all the same.
4. Emotional repression is learned, and it can be unlearned: Throughout the book, Maté makes it clear that many of the coping patterns that harm us were formed in childhood when we had no choice but to adapt for survival. Some of us learned to stay quiet, to not make trouble, to be “good,” to take care of others before ourselves. These habits follow us into adulthood and eventually turn into illness when they conflict with our true needs. The author’s narration reassured me that although these patterns run deep, they are not destiny. Awareness is the doorway to healing.
5. Saying “yes” too often is a slow form of self-abandonment: Maté gives striking examples of patients who were so committed to being indispensable that they ignored every warning signal their bodies gave them. He shows how a lifetime of overextending oneself, refusing boundaries, and constantly prioritizing others can lead to autoimmune disorders, cancer, and neurological diseases. The audiobook makes this lesson feel very personal because the tone is gentle yet firm. The real danger is not in being kind but in being unable to say “no” even when everything inside is begging us to stop.
6. The body demands authenticity, not perfection: One of my favorite insights is that healing does not come from becoming the “ideal” version of ourselves, but from becoming the honest version. Maté emphasizes that pretending to be okay, pretending to be strong, pretending not to hurt, pretending to cope, all create internal conflict. The body, he says, is always pushing us toward what is real. Listening to this in Daniel’s warm voice made the message settle deeper. Authenticity is not selfishness, it is medicine.
7. Healing begins the moment we give ourselves permission to feel: The final lesson that stayed with me is the power of emotional awareness. Maté teaches that our feelings are not the problem, it is the suppression of those feelings that harms us. Allowing ourselves to grieve, to feel anger, to acknowledge fear, and to rest is not weakness, it is wisdom. The audiobook ends with a tone that feels almost like an invitation, reminding me that healing is not a dramatic event but a slow, deliberate return to myself. When the body says no, it is not punishing us, it is trying to protect us.
Book/Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3X85Get
You can access the audiobook when you register on the Audible platform using the l!nk above.
