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17/07/2023

ERROR IN PARENTING

A few years ago, my wife and I read on WhatsApp, as you might have read too, that eating eggs and bananas is fatal, the post cited victims of the combo.
In a panic, my wife summoned our two youngest children to sternly warn them to stay off eggs and banana combination.
In their characteristics response to superstitions, the boys said, "The post doesn't make sense (their exact words) because people eat plantain and eggs and they don't die".
Furious, we reacted, "They didn't say plantain but banana", my wife added, "Iwo yi (pointing to our last child), you are too know, o ti le deja ju ( you always dare cultural taboos). They said something killed people you are questioning us". The boy, in his usual insistence, said, "The chemical composition of banana and plantain are similar if eggs interaction with plantain doesn't kill, its interaction with banana should not kill".
I started reasoning with them, but I didn't show it because they always like to defeat somebody.
We blackmailed them that we have been in the world before them and they must concede to us and if indeed, they know anything, they should keep quiet when adults are making assertions.
I google the chemical composition of plantain and banana, and the boys were correct.
What parenting?

15/08/2020

A marriage that won't prosper is easy to know from the onset! Miracle heals marital accident, wisdom prevents it!
Tell not I tell you not.

05/08/2020

Great and good day to you all!

10/06/2020

FOR THE MARRIED ONLY

A man confronted me rhetorically, "what is special in my wife feeding me? Throughout his married life, my father didn't work for a day, it was my mother that was working and feeding the entire family and she was neither born again nor complaining like this one (his wife)". He vituperated, "Must husbands feed their families, what's wrong with wives doing it"?

He rejected all the jobs secured for him claiming they were below his status and that he had worked in heaven but now on the earth to collect salary. This was a no-school-no-skill folk.
As his cotenants, I paid all the utility bills alone for four years, even offset those I met him owing, In spite of him living rent-free!
In our discussions, he was always alluding to his cousin in America who promised him plenty dollar to build a factory.

I recognize his kind whenever and wherever I meet them. They like to make their personal realities a national, if not global realities. They assert strongly the Bible injunctions that says, "he that provides not for his family is worse than an infidel" is not referring to husbands but to anybody in that family. They snap that those of us who advocate that husbands must, as a matter of duty, shoulder the economy of their families while the wives augment are wrong and erring.

Men who are deliberately idle and comfortable for their wives to be the breadwinners like to change the biblical narratives of "heads" shouldering the responsibilities of the families. The fact is, if your wristwatch is faulty you can't impose its readings on the rest of the world. Refusing to work and being comfortable with your wife winning bread for you year in year out is a symptom of complex psychological problems.

Most wives that fall victim to this kind of husbands are usually rich spinsters (senior single ladies) those who are desperate to marry just anything as husbands.

Share with us if you have met this kind of husbands before.

18/05/2020

HOW I LOST 3 CARS IN ONE DAY

While attending an interdenominational vigil of Church leaders on Monday, 22nd May, 2017, I saw a couple-Pastor entering into the venue of the meeting and the Lord directed me to give them the car I came with. By God's grace, I have given cars to people prior to that and I have also received more than I gave. But this time, I told God, I needed eleven days before I could let the car go because it's more efficient than the other at home and it rescues when the school bus breaks down. I didn't give it out as commanded by God!
Four days later, being Friday 26th of May, 2017 in less 4km away from our house and with twelve (12) of my protégé in the car. There was an accident, 100% head on collision.

In a bid to beat an hectic traffic, our driver took a one-way and to escape possible arrest, he was at a top speed and had a 100% head collision with an on coming vehicle, also on speed. Both cars were beyond repairs. A child in our car broke a thigh and the owner of the other car had multiple fractures.

The thought of harvesting corpses from over 12 occupants drove me crazy at the sight of how mangled both cars were. I've never been that scared all my life!
God showed CAPITAL MERCY, unbelievably, no one died! Everyone was discharge from the hospital that same day except the two injured people.

Under police harassment cm imprisonment of our driver, I was asked to buy another car for the owner we had accident with. Forget insurance, third party insurance aren't for that stuff I hope you know.

The first car of the same make and year of manufacture we bought was rejected for lacking some accessories the damaged car had, and that was after spending a fortune to paint, repairs, replace and refurbish. We returned it but no refund for repairs was made by the seller!
We had to buy another car of higher version elsewhere for them to be appeased.
Damaging rumours spread about us. Some people visibly display happiness that it happened. It was rumoured I fled the city for being away briefly to attend a travel interview.

A stupid disobedience of one man and recklessness of a driver nearly cost 13 lives (other driver inclusive). God demanded my obedience to avert a tragedy He had seen but I didn't let Him. However, He padded the tragedy with mercy!

09/05/2020

Four fundamental relationships for the best of life and living.

06/05/2020

LOVE MUST BE BLIND!

When Adam's eyes were not opened, his marital experience was celebration, acceptance, bonding/oneness with his wife which he summed as, "This is the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh, she shall be called a woman, because she's the critical part of me" but, when his eyes were opened, his marital experience was full of troubles, confusion, eviction, siblings rivalry between his sons, hostile environment, hard labour to mention a few. He blamed God for bringing the woman and blamed the woman for bringing trouble. It is better for love to be blind and remains so! Crises are the results of the love whose eyes is opened.
"LOVE IS BLIND" is repeatedly demonize by those who parrot statement without research, displaying their contextual dearth by buttressing that "because God is love therefore, love is not blind." That's a contextual summersault! God, in His wisdom permits the blindness of love. If most people were to know everything known about their spouses after 10years of marriage, they would have considered an alternative spouse.
'Love is blind' has its foundation in the Bible.
When Adam was asleep, he was blind! When he woke to admire and claimed Eve, their eyes weren't opened. But When their eyes were opened, God was offended, their marriage suffered terrible setbacks and Adam blamed God..."the woman thou gavest to be with me" replaced, "this is the bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh"
Whatever you were blind to in courtship, keep being blind to them, the day your eyes open, complaining and nagging begin. Whatever you won't tolerate as a married must be addressed while you're still single. Don't expect automatic transformation of demeanors from a would be spouse. Complain now or be silent forever!
It is said that, The most beautiful marriage is between a deaf man and a blind woman. Some women can't see without talking or is it nagging? Then when men hear something offensive, reactions follow.
King Solomon said, "if you try listening to everything said against you, one day you'll hear your servants cursing you" there is something called, "amoju kuro" (deliberate trivialization) meaning you shouldn't always follow offence in your marriage to a logical conclusion. Many things have no conclusion let alone, the logical one.
The blindness of love however, isn't a premise to ignoring fundamental errors that needed to be addressed in one's life or spouse.
A musician once sang, "A musician is gifted ears to first and foremost savour his own rendition else listeners repulse his lack of melody".
Be mature enough to auto correct yourself!

05/02/2020

MARRIAGE PATTERNS

One and perhaps, the greatest physical benefit of working hard to have a functional marriage is the tendency for your immediate offsprings to emulate and repeat it.

Shockingly, good marriage are not so easily and automatically duplicated like bad ones.

Except by divine intervention, we tend to repeat the kind of marriages that produce us. It's not a demonic attacks, it's a learnt pattern. Don't fold your hands when you observe negative patterns, pray so that your offsprings won't repeat the same negative marital experience you have.

The law of harvest also plays a tricky role.
Life, if left unmanned tends to go towards our weakness and the errors we are used to.

A spouse raised by single parents should watch against a repeat

Couple raised in an infidelity laden marriage should insulate their home against a repeat

Couples raised by irresponsible fathers/mothers should seek help

Couples raised in a turbulent family should work hard to avoid a repeat

Men raised in a home where mothers are the sole breadwinner may abdicate their responsibility to their wives.

Women raised by unduly domineering mothers may assume it's the right way to operate a marriage.

Spouse raised by abusive parents need to avoid becoming abusive themselves.

Look at your marriage, there's likelihood your parents' type of marriage is playing out!

May your fears, cares and concerns become testimonies. Francis Bacon, the father of experimental Philosophy said, "Many books are to be tasted, some are to be chewed and only few are to be digested." These books are worth being tasted, chewed and digested.

Simple, sound, systematic, scriptural, straightforward and problems-solving!

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Gratitude!

30/10/2019

In Malawi a book titled: "HOW TO CHANGE YOUR WIFE IN 30 DAYS" sold two million copies in one week, before it was discovered that the title had a spelling error !

The correct title is: "HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS". After the correction, for the whole month, only 3 copies were sold.

Marriage headquarters

11/10/2019

When you've done everything humanly possible to have fruitful, flourishing and fulfilling family such as reading relevant relationship literature, attending conferences, being trained in relationship/marriage/family schools and above all seeking divine direction, rest your mind and proceed in faith to get marry. Don't let the fear of failed marriages you hear and see in the media intimidate you. Don't be failure conscious because according to Baudjuin, “No matter how hard you work for success, if your thoughts are saturated with the fear of failure, it will kill your efforts, neutralise your endeavours and make success impossible". Fear of anything has capacity to produce its tangible equivalent. Regardless of your preparation, you'll still come across issues that are not in any textbook or training then your partnership with God's word, The Holy Spirit and great mentors come handy. Fear not, your marriage will turn out great!

And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified. (Acts 20:32)
God has you in mind.

10/10/2019

When you're enemies conscious rather than being God and grace conscious. Every cockroach becomes an agent of household enemies.

13/02/2019

If fools don't go to the market, bad wares won't be sold. Vote wisely!

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