Dr Iya Goubareva

14/04/2026

Menopause: What It Teaches Both Men and Women About Building a Body That Handles Change

Menopause is the natural phase in a woman’s life where ovarian hormone production declines and periods stop. It’s often presented as something that inevitably comes with a long list of unpleasant symptoms—but that’s not entirely true, and that’s the point of this post.

Hot flashes, night sweats, poor sleep, mood swings, anxiety, brain fog, weight gain (especially around the abdomen), low energy, reduced libido, vaginal dryness, skin aging (loss of elasticity, dryness, wrinkles), hair thinning, joint stiffness, and bone loss—these are commonly associated with menopause. And while hormonal changes are real, the severity of these symptoms is not fixed. There is a spectrum, and where someone falls on that spectrum is heavily influenced by how their body has been functioning long before menopause begins.

What’s rarely emphasized is that women don’t actually have to go through the worst version of this. There is a way to soften it—sometimes significantly. Yet in practice, the conversation often jumps straight to hormone replacement therapy, without first addressing the foundational systems that determine how the body handles stress, metabolism, and change.

The most important factor is muscle. Building and maintaining muscle through resistance training improves insulin sensitivity, stabilizes energy, supports bone density, and creates a buffer against many of the physical changes that come with menopause.

Then comes insulin regulation. Diets that constantly spike blood sugar drive fat gain, inflammation, and energy instability. A more balanced approach—adequate protein, fiber, and less reliance on refined carbohydrates—keeps the system steady.

Stress and cortisol play a major role as well. Chronic stress amplifies symptoms like poor sleep, anxiety, central weight gain, and even accelerates skin aging and hair thinning. Learning how to regulate stress before menopause means the body isn’t already overwhelmed when hormonal shifts occur.

Sleep ties everything together. Without good sleep, insulin worsens, cortisol rises, mood drops, recovery declines, and even skin and hair health are affected. Protecting sleep is not optional—it’s foundational.

And finally, bone health. Strength training, proper nutrition, and adequate calcium and vitamin D intake build reserves that become critical when estrogen declines.

Even though these habits can significantly reduce menopausal symptoms, they’re not menopause-specific strategies—they’re foundational physiology.

Maintaining muscle through resistance training, keeping insulin stable through diet, managing stress and sleep, and ensuring adequate nutrient intake are core requirements for metabolic, neurological, and structural health in any human, regardless of age or s*x. Menopause simply makes the consequences of neglecting these more visible; it doesn’t change what the body fundamentally needs. It doesn’t matter your age or s*x—giving your body the tools to handle stress, maintain stability, and function properly will profoundly shape the quality of your life, regardless of what physiological changes you go through.

And in the end, what your grandmother told you turns out to be right—you should start taking care of yourself early! The problem is, most people don’t listen. I wish I had listened to mine in my twenties. We tend to wait until the body starts shouting before we finally pay attention.

Think of your health as an investment—the earlier and more consistently you put into it, the greater the return you’ll see later in life. And that return isn’t just about living longer, it’s about how you live those years—the quality, the energy, the independence, and how well your body actually supports you through them.

11/04/2026

🌞🐣🐰 Easter, without religion.

I was thinking today about how interesting it is that we can all experience the same day so differently, because for some people Easter is deeply religious and meaningful, while for others, like me, it has nothing to do with belief in Jesus, and yet it still feels important, still feels worth celebrating, still feels like something I don’t want to just let pass like any other ordinary day.

I have a friend who refuses to celebrate anything like Easter, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, because he believes it’s all constructed to make people spend money, and honestly, I understand where he comes from because modern holidays have definitely been shaped by consumer culture, but at the same time I can’t fully agree with that being the whole truth, because when you look a bit deeper, those days existed long before they were turned into something commercial, and they served a very human purpose.

We don’t live in tribes anymore, we don’t naturally gather the way humans used to, everyone is caught up in their own routines, their own stress, their own schedules, and most days just pass in this continuous flow of doing and thinking and worrying, and holidays seem to interrupt that pattern in a way nothing else really does, they give us a reason — almost an excuse — to stop, to come together, to sit around a table, to share food and stories and laughter, to be a bit softer, a bit more open, a bit more present with each other.

And maybe that’s what I choose to celebrate, not a belief system, but the feeling of spring, the sense of renewal, the idea that things can begin again, that warmth returns after cold, that people can come closer again even if life has pulled them apart.

For me, Easter is about togetherness, generosity, love, and that subtle shift in energy when people allow themselves to slow down and enjoy being human together.

So whatever you believe, or don’t believe, I think there’s still something valuable in taking this moment, reaching out to someone, sharing something simple, and letting yourself feel that connection, because in the end, maybe that’s what these days were always really about.
Happy Easter, Happy Spring 🌼🌱

09/04/2026

👴👵I recently listened to a long interview with Dr. David Sinclair, and I found it genuinely fascinating. His core idea is that aging may not just be the body “wearing out” in the way we’ve always been told.

Instead, he believes aging happens because our cells gradually lose the ability to read the biological instructions that keep them functioning properly. In other words, the information may still be there, but the system starts misreading it.

What makes that so powerful is the implication: if aging is partly a loss of information, it may not be completely irreversible.

Sinclair spoke about research showing that in animals, some aspects of aging have already been partially reversed. Damaged tissues have regained function, and older cells have shown signs of becoming younger again. Human research is still in the early stages, so this is not something clinically available yet, but the science is moving in a remarkable direction.

What also stood out to me is that longevity is not just about futuristic therapies. He explains that the body has built-in repair pathways that switch on when we experience mild stress — things like fasting, exercise, and even heat or cold exposure. These challenges seem to activate survival mechanisms that help the body repair and protect itself.

On the other hand, the things we already know are harmful — smoking, too much alcohol, ultra-processed food, inactivity, constant comfort — may do more than make us unhealthy. They may actually accelerate the aging process itself.

He also talks about supplements like NMN, resveratrol, and metformin, but importantly, not as magic answers. The evidence in humans is still mixed, and much more research is needed.

What I found most thought-provoking is his bigger message: instead of only treating diseases one by one, maybe the future of medicine is to treat aging itself, because aging is the biggest risk factor behind so many diseases.

The takeaway for me was simple but powerful. We live in a world of constant comfort, but the body was built to respond to challenge. Movement, effort, heat, cold, restraint, recovery — these are the signals that remind it to repair and stay resilient.

Challenge your body gently and consistently, and you give it a reason to keep renewing itself.

Scientist and Harvard professor Dr. David Sinclair, A.O., Ph.D., reveals his latest research on how to reverse ageing, insights into vitamins and supplements...

06/04/2026

🚶The First Step Is a Lie Your Brain Keeps Telling You

There is a moment, usually quiet and almost invisible, when a person thinks about moving, about getting up, about going for a walk, a run, a swim, and in that exact moment something inside them pushes back, not loudly but convincingly, whispering that it is too late, that the body is too tired, too heavy, too stiff, that today is not the day, that maybe tomorrow would be better, and this is where most journeys end before they even begin.

What people often interpret as “listening to their body” is in many cases the brain protecting familiarity, conserving energy, avoiding discomfort, because the human system is designed first to survive, not to thrive, and any new physical effort is perceived as unnecessary stress unless proven otherwise, which is why the first step feels disproportionately difficult, almost unfairly heavy compared to what comes after.

At the same time, there is another truth that people rarely consider, which is that the body is not actually against movement, it is simply untrained for it, and just like an unused muscle feels weak, an unused system feels resistant, but resistance is not rejection, it is simply a lack of adaptation, and adaptation begins the moment movement starts, not before.

This is also where many people misunderstand those they call “disciplined” or even “thrill seekers”, because it may look like they possess something special, some internal fire or rare motivation, but in reality what they have done is much simpler and much more human, they have learned to access the body’s own chemistry, replacing external stimulation like alcohol, overeating, or passive habits with internal rewards, because effort, when repeated, triggers a cascade of substances like endorphins, dopamine, and endocannabinoids, which do not just make you feel good, they make you feel capable, present, and alive in a way that passive consumption never truly does.

So the real difference is not willpower,

it is exposure,

because once someone experiences that shift, even once, when movement turns into clarity and effort turns into energy instead of exhaustion, the narrative begins to change, slowly at first, but powerfully over time, from “I can’t do this” to “this actually feels right”.

And yet, the most common barrier remains identity, not physiology, because people are not just avoiding movement, they are protecting a story about themselves, a story that says “I am not the kind of person who does this”, and as long as that story remains untouched, no amount of advice, plans, or motivation will create lasting change, because behavior always aligns with identity in the long run.

What shifts everything is not intensity, not extreme effort, not a sudden transformation, but something almost disappointingly small, the decision to move just a little, to walk for ten minutes, to stretch, to step outside, not to prove anything, not to reach a goal, but simply to interrupt the pattern, because in that small act the brain begins to update its predictions, the body begins to adapt, and the identity begins to loosen.

From there, something subtle but important happens, the person starts to feel better after moving, not dramatically, not in a life-changing way at first, but enough to notice, enough to question the old narrative, enough to create a crack in the certainty that movement is unpleasant or impossible, and that crack is where change grows.

So the real question is not whether someone is fit enough, flexible enough, or ready enough, because readiness is not a prerequisite, it is a result, the real question is whether they are willing to take one small action that their current identity does not yet fully support, knowing that this is exactly how a new identity is built.

What would happen if movement was not something you had to earn, but something you returned to, something natural that has simply been neglected?

What if the discomfort you fear is not a sign to stop, but a sign that your system is waking up?

Because the version of you that feels energetic, capable, and alive is not far away, but just on the other side of repetition.

Start small, almost too small to fail, move for a few minutes, not because you feel like it, but because you understand what is happening beneath the surface, and let the body do what it has always known how to do, adapt, respond, and eventually reward you for the effort you were once trying to avoid.

Get up, go.... now!

05/04/2026

🤔💭Boredom Is the Doorway to Thought

Human beings were given an extraordinary gift: the ability to think! And I believe our modern lives are robbing us of this ability.

Our capacity for imagination, problem-solving, creativity, and invention comes from this simple ability — to sit with our thoughts and allow the mind to wander, to day dream....

But do you know what actually is required for thinking? Something many of us try to eliminate from our lives: Boredom!

Boredom is not useless time.
It is often the moment when the mind finally has space to connect ideas, reflect, and create. It's the time we get that "Eureka" 💡 moment.

Have you noticed something interesting? Many people say their best ideas come in the shower.

And this is not surprising. It is not because water has some magical properties — but because for a few minutes you are simply there, one-on-one with your thoughts. No scrolling, no notifications, no children pulling your sleeve, no stimulation taking your attention away. The mind is finally allowed to move, to wonder freely.

This is when ideas surface, when problems suddenly make sense and when creativity appears.

History gives us many examples of how powerful quiet thinking can be. I recently learned to that great minds like Leonardo da Vinci and Albert Einstein spent large parts of their days walking, observing, and thinking. They also took many holidays. Their most productive work often came from relatively short periods of focused effort — sometimes only a few hours a day — surrounded by long stretches of reflection.

Thinking was not a distraction from their work.
It WAS their work.

Now think about how many of those quiet moments used to exist in everyday life that we do not have anymore.

Waiting for coffee.
Standing in line.
Walking somewhere.
Sitting for a few minutes with nothing to do.

Those moments were small pockets of mental space.

But now every single moment needs to be filled by something. It is actually quite difficult to force yourself not to reach for your phone or laptop.

Today many technologies have no real purpose except to capture attention and occupy time. They present themselves as solutions for boredom or loneliness, but what they often deliver is endless stimulation and take away our ability to think.

And because they are engineered to be highly addictive, they pull in not only people who feel lonely, but almost anyone who opens them.

The cost is subtle:
the small spaces where the mind would normally wander begin to disappear.

Yet those spaces are often where our best thinking happens.

Next time you find yourself waiting two minutes for a coffee, try something simple.

Don’t reach for stimulation.

Just be there.

Look around.
Notice the people near you.
Pay attention to the sounds, the smells, the small details of the place you’re in.

Allow your mind to wander.

Moments like this are often when the solution to a problem you’ve been thinking about for days suddenly appears — not because you forced it, but because the thought was finally allowed to surface.

And who knows…
the next time you’re standing in line for coffee, you might just come up with the next great invention. 💡

02/04/2026

💆Lymph Drainage: Why Most People Are Doing It Wrong (and Making It Worse)

You’re not “draining” your lymph if you’re pressing hard. You’re blocking it.

This is one of the most common mistakes I keep seeing — aggressive massage right on lymph nodes.

Let’s clear it up properly.

What is the lymphatic system?
It’s your body’s fluid-clearing network. It removes excess fluid, waste, and supports immune function.

Unlike blood circulation, it has no pump.
No heart pushing lymph around.

It depends on:

- Movement (walking, exercise)
- Muscle contractions
- Breathing

So yes — the best lymphatic support is simply moving your body. Cardio > any massage technique.

Then why does massage help?
Because sometimes fluid sits.

Common reasons you might wake up puffy:

- Too much alcohol (dehydration + fluid retention rebound)
- Poor sleep
- High salt intake
- Hormonal fluctuations
- Long periods of inactivity

Massage can help guide that fluid — but only if done correctly.

The biggest mistake:
Pressing hard.

Lymph vessels are superficial (just under the skin).
If you press deeply, you collapse them → flow decreases.

Correct pressure:
Feather-light.
Think: moving the skin, not the muscle.

If your skin turns red or you feel pressure → it’s already too much.
Honestly, it shouldn’t even be called a “massage” — it’s closer to gentle stroking of the skin.

Direction is everything:
You’re not randomly rubbing — you’re directing fluid toward lymph nodes.

Main drainage areas:

- Neck (sides) → down to collarbones
- Under jaw → toward ears → down neck
- Armpits (axillary nodes) for upper body
- Groin (inguinal nodes) for lower body

Important detail most people don’t know:
Start on the left side first.
The left lymphatic duct (thoracic duct) drains a much larger portion of the body compared to the right side, so beginning there helps create better overall flow.

Basic technique:

1. Start by “opening” the area (gentle strokes at collarbones/neck — left side first)
2. Use slow, rhythmic, light movements
3. Always move toward the nearest lymph node group
4. Repeat — no force, no speed

What actually improves results:

- Deep breathing (acts like an internal pump)
- Hydration
- Regular movement

Reality check:
Massage is not magic — it’s assistance.

If you’re not moving, no amount of facial tools or “detox massage” will fix stagnation.

But when done correctly, even 2–3 minutes of light, directional work can noticeably reduce puffiness.

Less pressure = better flow.

Something to notice in your own body:

When do you wake up more puffy?

Does movement reduce it faster than any product or tool?

Have you been “overdoing” massage thinking more pressure = better results?

Try adjusting the pressure to almost nothing — and see what changes.

Your lymphatic system responds to subtlety, not force.

31/03/2026

I’m currently deepening my work in wellness by undergoing studies to become a certified grief coaching practitioner.

I guess it all started from trying to manage my own grief.

Grief is not just about loss—it shapes identity, daily function, and the way we relate to ourselves and others. It’s an area that deserves more understanding, space, and skilled support.

This step comes from a genuine desire to hold space for others in a more thoughtful way.

31/03/2026

Beautifully said

30/03/2026

PMS —
👿Prepare to Meet Satan
or
🥰Peace Mindfulness Serenity

There is a phase in the female cycle that many women learn to dread…
but it was never meant to be something to fight.

This part of your cycle is important by design.
Nature made it this way on purpose.

---

A different state, not a problem

In the week before your period, something gently shifts:

- you feel more
- you notice more
- you turn inward
- your emotional world becomes louder

This is your analytical phase.

A time where your mind slows down just enough to ask:

«What feels right? What doesn’t? What needs my attention?»

This is not the time for constant action.

It’s a time to pause, reflect, and listen.

---

Why it doesn’t feel the same every time

Every woman is wired differently.

We all have different:

- emotional sensitivity
- stress capacity
- nervous system responses

And beyond that, life changes.

So even within you:

- one month feels soft and emotional
- another feels heavy and irritable

The hormones are similar…
but your state is not.

---

The role of stress

When your system is calm, this phase can feel like:

- sensitivity
- openness
- emotional depth

But when stress builds up:

- sleep is low
- pressure is high
- your nervous system is overloaded

That same sensitivity can turn into:

- frustration
- anxiety
- irritability

Not because something is wrong with you…

But because your system is asking for support.

«The signal is the same.
The experience depends on how supported you are.»

---

Awareness changes everything

With time and awareness, something shifts.

Instead of reacting, you begin to notice.

Instead of being carried by the emotion, you sit with it.

This is how the brain learns.

This is neuroplasticity:

«choosing awareness over reaction, again and again»

And slowly, this phase becomes:

- softer
- clearer
- more honest

---

This is your cue to slow down

If you know this phase is coming, meet it with care.

Plan for it.

Protect your energy.

---

How to take care of yourself during this time

- Notice your cycle → know when these days are approaching
- Keep your schedule lighter
- Avoid unnecessary stress when possible

And most importantly:

- love yourself a little more during this week
- pamper yourself without guilt
- treat yourself with kindness and softness

This is not the time to:

- push harder
- follow strict diets
- demand peak performance

This is the time to:

- rest
- take warm baths
- spend quiet time alone
- move more slowly

Give yourself permission to step back.

---

A gentle reframe

What if this isn’t a “bad week”…
but a clearer one?

A time where:

- emotions highlight what you’ve been overlooking
- your body asks you to listen
- your mind creates space for truth

---

Takeaway

This phase was never meant to overwhelm you.

It was meant to help you:

«slow down, reflect, and reconnect with yourself»

And when you meet it with less stress and more care…

It shifts from:

reactivity → awareness
tension → clarity

The real “Satan” is stress—when that’s managed,
PMS can shift into peace, mindfulness, and Serenity, Softness, Stillness, Sanctuary...
🧘‍♂️🙏🥰🤗

29/03/2026

🗣️Why unclear communication quietly destroys relationships

Inspired by Maria Fudas (Connect with Yourself & Others)

For a long time, I confused politeness with clarity — or rather, I sacrificed one for the other without realising it.

Having lived in England for 25 years, I absorbed a style of communication where subtext does most of the heavy lifting. What you imply often carries more weight than what you actually say, and directness can read as aggression. So I adapted. I softened things, left parts unsaid, and trusted people to read between the lines.

The problem is that I come from an Eastern European background where clarity is the baseline — where saying exactly what you mean isn't considered harsh, it's considered respectful. Somewhere along the way I started filtering that out of myself, and the more I adjusted my words to be easier to receive, the less accurate they became.

Reading Maria Fudas on assertiveness made me name something I'd been circling for years. When what you think, feel, and try to communicate do not align, instead giving rise to a distorted version — every time I held something back in the name of politeness, I was offering people a slightly edited version of reality. And they responded to that version. Not to me. The misunderstandings and unmet expectations that followed weren't accidents — they were the inevitable result of communication that required interpretation.

That's the hidden cost of unclear communication, and it compounds over time. In friendships, in romantic relationships, in professional ones — every interaction built on softened or incomplete truth adds another layer of distance between who you actually are and how you're being received. You don't just risk being misunderstood in a single conversation. You risk building entire relationships on a version of yourself that isn't fully real. And then one day you find yourself frustrated by dynamics you never consciously agreed to, because you helped create them through a hundred small acts of self-editing.

Assertiveness is what prevents that. Not aggression, not bluntness for its own sake — but the quiet power of being someone whose words actually match their meaning. It's what allows people to trust you, because what they see is what they get. It's what allows you to trust yourself, because you're no longer managing the gap between what you feel and what you say. And it's what keeps relationships honest over the long term, because honesty doesn't only mean telling the truth when it matters — it means communicating clearly enough that misreading you was never really an option.

That's worth protecting, in every relationship you care about.

26/03/2026

😵‍💫 If Fasting Makes You Dizzy, Your Body Isn’t Broken — It’s Just Untrained

“I tried fasting but I felt dizzy.”

Here is what is actually happening — and how to train your body step-by-step.

Every time fasting comes up, someone says:

“I tried it but I got dizzy, headache, shaky… I can’t do it.”

Most of the time this doesn’t mean fasting is dangerous for you.
It usually means your body is not yet used to switching fuels.

Your body has two main energy sources:

• Glucose (from carbohydrates and sugar)
• Fat (your stored energy)

Think of it like your body has two fuel tanks:

• a small glucose tank
• a very large fat tank

If you keep refilling the small tank all day with snacks and constant eating, the large tank never gets used.

So when someone suddenly skips a meal, the body struggles to switch fuels.

That’s when people feel:

• headache
• dizziness
• shakiness
• irritability
• strong hunger

This is uncomfortable, but in healthy people it is usually not dangerous.
It simply means the metabolism hasn’t practiced using stored fat efficiently yet.

The good news: metabolic flexibility can be trained.

But the mistake people make is jumping straight into long fasts.

Instead, train the system step by step.

Step 1 — Build balanced meals (about 1 week)

Each meal should contain:

• protein
• vegetables or fiber
• healthy fats
• a moderate carbohydrate source

Examples:

Eggs + vegetables + bread

Chicken + salad + potatoes

Fish + vegetables + rice

Greek yogurt + nuts + fruit

Meat + vegetables + bread

Balanced meals stabilize blood sugar and reduce energy crashes.

Step 2 — Reduce constant snacking (week 2)

Move toward 3 structured meals per day:

Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner

Allow 4–5 hours between meals.

This teaches the body to rely slightly more on stored energy.

Step 3 — Create a 12-hour overnight fast (weeks 2–3)

Example:

Dinner 20:00
Breakfast 08:00

Most people tolerate this easily once meals are balanced.

Step 4 — Extend fasting only if it feels natural

After a few weeks many people notice they are less hungry in the morning.

That’s when delaying breakfast occasionally can create a 14–16 hour fasting window.

No forcing. No extremes.

Why dizziness and headaches happen?

When the body is used to frequent glucose intake, skipping meals causes blood sugar and insulin to drop quickly.

The brain then releases stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol) to bring blood sugar back up.

Those hormones create sensations like:

• headache
• dizziness
• feeling shaky
• irritability

As the body becomes better at using stored fat and ketones, these signals usually become much weaker or disappear.

Most people notice the first improvements within about a week, and much better stability after 2–3 weeks of consistent eating patterns.

What if you feel uncomfortable?

Hunger waves and mild symptoms often pass within 10–20 minutes as the body adjusts.

If symptoms are strong or interfering with work or daily life, it’s perfectly fine to eat something and try again another day.

Fasting is not something you force.

It becomes easy once your metabolism remembers how to use its second fuel tank.

If fasting has ever made you feel dizzy, start with step one this week:
Build balanced meals and allow 4–5 hours between meals without snacking.

I would like to know how does your body react when you try this?