Divergent Minds

29/01/2026

29/01/2026

Sharing via Thriving Autistic 💛

28/01/2026

Absolutely and when we expect children to learn regulation by “teaching” skills, we’re missing the mark 😞The Therapist Parent

Regulation isn’t something children learn on their own.

It’s something their nervous system borrows from ours first.

When a child is overwhelmed, their brain isn’t ready for lessons, logic, or consequences.

It’s looking for safety.
That safety is built through repeated experiences of:
• being met, not managed
• being soothed, not shamed
• having someone stay close until the storm passes

Over time, those moments become internal skills.
What starts as co-regulation becomes self-regulation.

If your child still needs you in their big moments, it doesn’t mean you’re doing too much.

It means their brain is still learning.

Save this for the hard days.

And if you want to understand the why behind this more deeply, my book Guidance from The Therapist Parent explores the nervous system side of behaviour — link in bio.

28/01/2026

Thank you again and as always AUsome Training!

My post on abusive ABA dressed up as ‘neuro-affirming’ has drawn some attention from people who defend ABA (the pretend affirming kind).

You will notice that it’s only ever people who make money off ABA or who’ve been ABAed themselves who jump to defend it. After they explain ‘their science’ they’ll try to analyse your behaviour .

Then they just assume you are ignorant and try to educate you. They might even throw in some examples…. This is the formula that they all use without seeming to notice - almost like they’ve been ABAed into this defence 😉

Anyway, our gov report looked at ALL the evidence- yes even the ‘new’ , ‘neuro-affirming’ , not-naughty-at-all ABA INTERNATIONALLY and here is the findings of that report.

ABAers please just get new jobs 😘. I’ll pop the link to the full report in the story. And as always massive gratitude for the brave and bold advocates (not any funded charities) who made this happen for our community ❤️❤️❤️

28/01/2026

Yaaaasss! 😂🫣Autistic Flair

When you're a massive tab hoarder 😅

28/01/2026

The Emotion Wheel - Can anyone reach how they feel today, or just now?

28/01/2026

One to order and read - written by fellow neurokin 💛Neurodivergent East Dorset

This book was released this week. I am half way through it already. It's one that I feel is very much needed, the autistic experience of Menopause can be challenging and scary, and different. A lot of Autistic people have a smaller social circle, which can make it feel isolating due to not having anyone to discuss it with.

I thought I was going mad or had Dementia, no one prepares you for the impact of perimenopause and Menopause.

I love the science in this book, learning what is happening and why, has been helpful. Makes it easier. It also covers why the Menopause can be challenging for Autistic people, and how stress and trauma during childhood and early adulthood can impact Menopause and your experience of it, and across your lifespan.

An important book for Autistic people and professionals supporting them.

Dr Rachel Moseley is a Psychologist/Researcher at Bournemouth University, and is Autistic herself.

Autism, ADHD and other Neurodiversity from Jessica Kingsley Publishers

(I have added a photo of the back of the book in the comments)

27/01/2026

We 💛 Blindboy 💛

27/01/2026

Totally 💛Autism Goggles

SELF-DIAGNOSIS IS VALID. RESEARCH BACKS IT UP.

Self-diagnosed Autistics, be confident in your identity.

A major peer-reviewed study published in 2020 examined this question directly. The paper?

“Autism Identity and the ‘Lost Generation’: Structural Validation of the Autism Spectrum Identity Scale and Comparison of Diagnosed and Self-Diagnosed Adults on the Autism Spectrum” (McDonald, 2020).

The study included 1,139 Autistic adults, with 893 formally diagnosed and 245 self-diagnosed. Researchers compared the two groups across core areas of lived experience, including identity, self-esteem, stigma, quality of life, and life circumstances.

What they found was striking.

“The self-diagnosed participants strongly resembled their diagnosed counterparts in terms of autism identity, stigma, quality of life, and self-esteem” (McDonald, 2020, p. 21).

That means self-diagnosed Autistics understand themselves in the same way, describe their experiences in the same way, and show the same psychological patterns in the data as diagnosed Autistics.

These are meaningful and significant similarities.

The researchers also tested whether the identity tool used in the study (Autism Spectrum Identity Scale) actually worked properly for self-diagnosed participants.

It did.

“The ASIS demonstrates structural validity for both adults diagnosed and self-diagnosed with autism” (McDonald, 2020, p. 22).

In plain language, the assessment designed to measure Autistic identity fit self-diagnosed adults just as well. That does not happen if people are misidentifying themselves.

The demographics tell another important story. The self-diagnosed participants were more likely to be older, to be women, and to be employed. These are exactly the populations that are constnatly missed by our current systems!

“The profile of self-diagnosed participants matches the profile hypothesized for the ‘lost generation’ of autistic individuals who were not diagnosed” (McDonald, 2020, p. 21).

Self-diagnosed people are not a random group claiming an identity or label. This is a population that research already recognizes as historically underidentified.

“The high levels of stigma, low quality of life, and low employment indicate that the self-diagnosed group is experiencing challenges similar to adults with an autism diagnosis” (McDonald, 2020, p. 22).

People do not accidentally recognize decades of consistent patterns of life experience that include difficulties with coping, masking, burnout, misunderstandings, and identity formation. That kind of awareness comes from living those experiences over and over again.

The paper also acknowledges something Autistic communities have been saying for years: formal diagnosis is not equally accessible. Professionals with expertise in assessing adults are scarce.

“Access to qualified professionals who provide autism diagnostic services for adults is scarce” (McDonald, 2020, p. 15).

As well, costs are high, and waitlists are very long. Many people dread being dismissed during the process or have accumulated medical trauma. All of these factors are barriers to seeking an official diagnosis.

The study’s conclusion is careful but powerful. It is apparen that this research does not dismiss or undermine self-diagnosis. It recognizes that self-diagnosed people likely have the same needs for understanding, belonging, and support as formally diagnosed Autistics (McDonald, 2020, p. 22).

Most of us arrived at that conclusion a long time ago. The only thing left to add is, "Welcome to our community!"

27/01/2026

🫣😂The Daily Tism

An autistic couple who agreed to put their friend up for the night have belatedly realised to their dismay that they will need to buy a third plate, eyewitnesses have revealed.

Ffiona Maw, 30, and Dexter Livingstone, 28, were happy to give their friend a bed for the night in an emergency, but have started to realise the terrible knock-on effect this will have on their lives.

“We both accepted that taking on a house guest would mean a number of horrors,” explained Maw, “like disruption to routine and unsanctioned towel-folding methods. But I’m going to have to set up a whole new cupboard arrangement!”

Livingstone added: “When we moved in together we bought the essential crockery for a couple, so we have a mug, plate and bowl each. I just never imagined this would change.”

“We couldn’t have known a person would ever come round,” agreed Maw, sadly.

The couple were last seen trying to decide between the clammy dread of having an odd number of plates and the fear that buying a fourth might be a slippery slope to dinner parties.

When approached for comment, their friend Kelsey Dacey, 25, said, “Thanks so much for this, guys! I’ve made soup.”

Read more: https://thedailytism.com/autistic-couple-reluctantly-buys-third-plate-to-accommodate-house-guest/

27/01/2026

The article by the BPS features Professor Christina Maslach, a leading global authority on burnout and co-creator of the Maslach Burnout Inventory, whose work has fundamentally shaped how burnout is understood worldwide. We love the work by Dr Alice Nicholls, Clinical Psychologist who works specifically with neurodivergent Adults experiencing burnout 💛 Dr Alice Nicholls, Clinical Psychologist's Autistic Burnout check list in the comments section:

Although she has conducted research in several areas, Christina Maslach is best known for her pioneering work on ‘burnout’. It’s a concept with great academic and popular appeal as it captures a common experience among employees, especially those working within the helping professions. Gail Ki...

27/01/2026

100000000%Kelly Mahler 💛

A child who clings isn’t being “needy” or “attention seeking.”

They’re expressing:
“My body needs closeness to feel okay right now.”

That’s Automatic Interoception Communication. A child’s natural, reflexive expressions of their inner experience.

When we meet it with curiosity, not correction or behavior modification, many children eventually feel safe enough to express and meet that same need in more intentional, reflective ways.

Connection supports interoception communication.
Compliance disrupts it.



Image Description: Pink and purple tile with graphics of parents embracing their children that says, “A child who clings isn’t being ‘needy’ or ‘attention seeking’ They’re expressing: my body needs closeness to feel okay right now.”