Getting There Counselling & Behavioural Management

26/10/2020

Controlling the Controllables

I was inspired to write this post as each of us as each of us navigates the ever changing landscape that is Covid-19.
For years I tried to control events that were out of my control, such as things that occurred in the past, injuries I sustained, results I got in a test or disappointment over not getting approval from others.

Over the last number of years, Ive realised that we live in a VUCA world, that is a world that is volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous. In order to keep my head above water and feel in control, I have crossed an emotional threshold and altered my thinking style . This style of thinking and living is heavily dependent on only controlling the controllables.

Covid is something that is unpredictable, complex and is largely out of our control. It has put a stop to work for some of us, it has diluted our physical connections, and for some people it has led to loss of loved ones.

During this time, I have really used my energy to only look at what I can control. Although this seems simple, I wake up each day with a specific intention and I make a choice to live this way.

I use the following template as a guide:
CAN Control
These are the specific things i can control daily: Examples of these may be what exercise I engage in, what activities i engage in, who i connect with, what I eat, how may times i wash my hands. etc
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CAN’T CONTROL-
These are the specific things I can’t control -although I can do my best to influence them
Examples of these may be how someone reacts to me, how many people have Covid-19, whether someone answers my call, the weather, the past.
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This list gives me clarity each day and I’ve found my attitude changes based on my engagement with this.
Give this a try. In simple terms, you are bringing in more safety and calm. This allows you to access higher thinking and manage your stress more effectively.

Remember you can't turn the wind, so turn the sail.

03/09/2020

This Quote sums up the power of being vulnerable , while also conveying how detrimental shame and fear can be to our wellbeing .

As humans, perfection is impossible. We desire success, being liked, and feeling good.
Part of the human condition is to make mistakes, feel sad, hurt others and feel hurt by others

Perfectionism drives feelings of Shame and when we get into a shame cycle, we can struggle and beat ourselves up repeatedly.

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we can change on our own terms and evolve to the point where we can self reflect and be accepting of ourselves and our emotions

18/08/2020

I am very excited to partner with social care worker and psychotherapist, Helen O Neill in facilitating our first interactive workshop for teens.
This workshop focuses on Understanding and Managing Emotions, something that we all can struggle with.
Our workshop is unique in that it is specifically tailored to this age group, and will be visual and interactive in nature.
Please view our poster below for more details. All questions are welcome

10/08/2020

Self Care ABC

More frequently I am meeting clients who come to me because they feel completely weighed down, burnt out and empty with nothing left to give.

I often use the analogy of being on an airplane and the instructions given by the flight attendant. The flight attendant states "In case there is a change in cabin pressure, be sure to place your oxygen mask over your face before attending to anyone else"

This message is simple but it often creates a level of cognitive dissonance for parents.
They want to put everyone else's mask on first and allow themselves to suffer , with no energy or physical resources left to put on their own mask.

Clients often say that they feel guilty if they take time for themselves. Please remember that there is no guilt in taking care of yourself. You are worth it.

I love using the self care ABC with clients . It nourishes our body and mind and sometimes the simplest self care activities are the most fufilling

Please take 10 minutes out of your day to fill this out and remind yourself how important you are.

03/08/2020

Anxiety is a word that is used to describe the body's response to stress. I view anxiety on a continuum ranging from anxiety or stress that is helpful all the way to the anxiety that causes great distress and can be debilitating to our fuctioning.

Because we only focus on Anxiety as something that is toxic or negative, we can sometimes pathologise how we are feeling and label ourselves as having anxiety. This can become harmful to our wellbeing and it can disempower us.

I often like to challenge my clients thoughts on this topic and sometimes we discuss the benefits of having the right amount of stress in our lives. For example stress keeps us motivated and research has shown that our performance is lifted with the right amount.

It is fascinating how our perception and understanding of anxiety can alter our overall response. It is significant that we understand how loaded this word is and the ramifications of patholigising a normal stress response. to a difficult situation. Covid 19 is a great example of this.

I love to work with my clients on a cognitive level helping them to reframe their thinking around anxiety. Working with the body always compliments this process and when my clients are open to change, the results can be profound .

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

29/07/2020

Grounding ourselves through our interaction with the world around us is something I've become particularly interested in and passionate about so I will now be offering therapy in an outdoor setting, which will give clients a chance to absorb the natural beauty around them.

I was in a place at one time in my life where I found it difficult to see the beauty in the world around me. It is now through my engagement with nature that I feel at peace and sometimes just seeing the trees and smelling the flowers, or the sea can help me to reset.

I always encourage my clients to explore and find the environment that gives them peace. At the beginning it can be difficult to switch off from the noise in our heads and just be .

I recommend using our senses to bring ourselves into the present moment. I often use this when my mind is busy and focus on what I can see, hear , smell and touch.

For any questions, please contact me and I'll be happy to help

22/07/2020

This is one of my favourite studies as it shows how the human mind is so embodied. Participants were asked to describe where they felt an emotion in the body and a lot of what was discovered is that where we feel these is somewhat universal

The feelings we often describe such as butterflies in my stomach when nervous about an upcoming event, or feeling warm all over when I'm love, or feeling empty when sad are all very real.

The body is so intertwined with the mind. Using the body to describe an emotion is something i often use in my work and this helps clients understand the emotion more clearly.

17/07/2020

I am very excited to share an online workshop that I will be co facilitating with Psychotherapist & Social Care worker, Helen O' Neill. We will be running this workshop via Zoom and there will be a chance for discussion throughout. This workshop is aimed at anyone who would like more information on body signals, what these are communicating and we will also offer practical tips to manage stress effectively. If you would like to sign up for this workshop, please contact me on 0831835112 or you can also contact Helen O Neill on 0897069211

12/07/2020

Hi Everyone,

As I have Getting There Counselling and Behavioural Management service up and running, I wanted to create a page to share my information, upcoming events that I will be facilitating on various topics (understanding emotions, stress management, the low arousal approach for autism, positive psychology, Body Signals etc) and fruitful information that will assist with increasing mental fitness and understanding self. The following are areas I specialise in and I work with both adolescents and Adults.

Addiction
Behavioural Management for Autism
Anxiety
Depression/Low Mood
Stress Management

Taking the first step to attend counselling can be difficult, but is always worth it.If anyone would like to contact me with any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me and I can talk you through the process. There is always Hope.

There is more information shown below on my website.
www.gettingtherecounselling.ie/

I encourage my clients to use their strengths and internal resources to encounter Change, which is central to the counselling process.