01/12/2025
This is a picture of some of my Ancestors on my Mum's side. My Granny and Grandad's wedding, with some of my Great Grandparents, Great Uncles and Aunts.
In this lineage infants and children died too soon, brothers divided during the Irish Civil War, there were secrets, abandonment, excluded children, schizophrenia, and so much grief. That's only what I know.
Schizophrenia passed down the line, my eldest brother it's recipient. I guess that is one of the reasons I was drawn to this work. A terrible ache in my family, my mother's grief & the fracturing darkness of madness.
I spent years trying to heal my family, trying to find help for and heal my brother. I banged my head against the wall of the healing world for so long. It took me until I was nearly fifty to realise I cannot heal anyone else, I can only heal myself.
I always thought I was ok. I wasn't ok. Finally I turned my gaze toward me. I have been witnessed and held by my group and my facilitator & teacher Roisín Fallon. I have sobbed and I have railed and I have felt completely lost, unanchored, unable to function and carry on with the business of life. I have at last seen what has always been there, buried under the facade of "oh I'm grand, no need to worry about me" as I continued to be hyper vigilant to everyone else's needs, completely bypassing my own. Underneath, a lost child abandoned by herself over and over.
I have sat in many groups over the years. We humans are all the same. Even the ones who look like they have it all sorted. No-one has it all sorted. We all ache, we rage, we despair. We bravely carry on with the business of the day whilst at times inside our heart is breaking, our Soul is lost. I am so grateful for this work, for my mentors and teachers, and for my fellow humans who seek the truth, with heart.
I have a Family Constellation day on this coming Saturday December 6th, if you would like more information, or to book a place, please see my website www.earthsoulyoga.com. Or you can message me here or contact me at 0857617258.