09/03/2022
Practical tips for Irish families who host Ukrainian refugees
FEELING SAFE
If you are planning to host or already are hosting refugee individuals and families who have experienced many stressful events because of the war in Ukraine – the need for establishing safety is essential. The process of developing trust starts as soon as your guest interacts with you. Minister for Children Roderic O’Gorman has said a specialised unit will shortly be set up to take on the task of meeting refugees from Ukraine as they arrive at airports and ports in Ireland. Mr O’Gorman confirmed about “2,200 people, Ukrainian refugees had arrived in Ireland since the 26th of February and of those about two-thirds are being housed with family members”. Mr O’Gorman said the main priority was to ensure that all who arrived were safe in whatever accommodation they were placed in [3].
Feeling safe, being “rooted” or “grounded” are important human values. Earth and ground are symbolically identified with the mother, who is representative of home. Our basic needs such as safety, satisfaction, and connection are grounded in life itself. According to Maslow’s (1954) hierarchy of needs, lower-level needs must be fully met before one is trying to achieve higher-level needs. In order for refugee individuals to thrive at school and in the community, they need to be able to function beyond a survival mode and learn how to self-regulate. To live fully and securely in the present and to engage with life, individuals need to calm the physical tensions in the body first.
TRAUMATIC INJURY
Escaping bombs in war-torn Ukraine, violence, death or/and major material, physical and psychological loss, uprooting, and migration can be some sources of trauma. Trauma is defined as “an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life-threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being”[1]. These events may be leaving the individual feeling overwhelmed, helpless and out of control.
Remember that many refugees may have lost their loved ones, homes and jobs. When loss is unexpected, people may experience intense fear, sadness, traumatic grief, and anger. Children and youth under the age of 18 were forcibly displaced and were vulnerable during the migration journey. Note that children miss their homes, family members, friends and pets. They miss their schools, parks, playgrounds and toys. Many traumatized children and adults simply cannot describe what they are feeling because they cannot identify what their physical sensations mean. Psychiatrists call this phenomenon alexithymia – Greek for not having words for feelings [2]. For instance, instead of feeling angry or sad, they experience unexplained muscle pain, bowel irregularities, headaches and stomachaches, digestive problems or asthma.
The trauma people suffered during the war could be governing the way they handle experiences and their emotions right now. Many survivors of trauma present with these symptoms: hyperarousal, constriction, dissociation/shutdown, and immobility with freeze/helplessness. Thus, their capacity for social engagement may be diminished. When people lack a sense of safety and belonging, they often feel threatened. They may act as though there is always a threat around the corner. You may find your guests’ behaviour strange. Many traumatized people experience panic attacks, anxiety and phobias, flashbacks, nightmares, sleep and appetite disturbance, abrupt mood swings, e.g. rage reactions. They may be extremely sensitive to light and sound. They may be numbed out. They may feel isolated and detached. They may have reduced ability to organize and plan, and learn a new language.
FOCUSING ON COURAGE AND STRENGTHS
Remember that refugee individuals and families carry with them vulnerability, potential post-traumatic stress, as well as courage, strengths and stories of resilience. Some people may be willing to talk about their experiences, others may not. Note that if a family or youth shares stories of trauma, it is important to validate their experiences and emotions. However, don’t discuss potentially difficult subjects to avoid re-traumatisation. Don’t ask unnecessary questions. Instead, incorporate active listening skills and observation. Refugees’ challenge is not only about dealing with the past, but, even more – facing the unknown and enhancing the quality of day-to-day experience. Connect. Relate. Empower. Draw your guests’ attention to their positive resources and strengths.
PEACEFUL ATMOSPHERE
Create a welcoming and peaceful atmosphere. Respect your guests’ privacy. Show them kindness through gestures, facial expressions and a soft tone of voice.
CREATING NEW ROUTINES
Creating new routines and rituals is essential when building a sense of safety and stability. Creating the markers i.e. serving meals at the same time will give your guests a sense of structure, predictability and grounding.
PROVIDING COMFORT
Giving your guests space and time to amplify their senses (smell, touch, sight, hearing and taste) is important – it helps them feel more present and connected. Your guests may be unable to express their needs. Help them regulate – offer them food and non-alcoholic drinks i.e. herbal teas that smell lovely. This can be very soothing and grounding. Provide comfy clothes, cosy blankets, and soft pillows –so your guests can better connect to the sensation and stimulate their sense of touch. The sense of smell also plays a really important role in the physiological effects of mood and stress. Certain smells can soothe our emotions. Essential oils can be inhaled or diluted and applied to the skin. We can use aromatherapy oils to lower stress. Body lotions and hand lotions serve as a powerful tool to help us feel calm or uplifted. They help us connect with the softness of our skin. Candles that smell delicious may also be a good way to stimulate our sense of smell.
ENGAGING THE BODY
Bessel van der Kolk – a psychiatrist, author, researcher and educator based in Boston – asserts that in order to keep our body safe, we need to move and learn how to control our emotions, behaviours and thoughts. We can do this by practising meditation, mindfulness, breathing, walking, spending time outdoors and/or singing. It is essential to keep our body alive, for instance, through yoga. Van der Kolk recommends engaging in some sort of practice that involves touch and bodywork as it helps to release physical tension, leading to a release of emotion.
ADDITIONAL SUPPORT
Health Centers and primary care providers play a crucial role in promoting resiliency and mitigating the negative outcomes of trauma for immigrant and refugee families. If any issues have arisen for you or your guests, please feel free to contact the Irish Refugee Council or various public and private professional supportive organisations which provide counselling and professional support services such as Counselling in Primary Care on 1800 700 700, Samaritans on 116 123, and South West Counselling services on 064 663 6416. Additionally, please feel free to contact me directly if you would find it helpful to discuss any aspects of additional support. I can be reached at the details below.
karolina@reallyconnect.ie
Insight Matters Psychotherapy, Counselling and Wellness Centre
106 Capel Street, Dublin, D01 WY40
References:
1.SAMHSA’s Trauma and Justice Strategic Initiative SAMHSA’s Concept of Trauma and Guidance for a Trauma-Informed Approach. Available online:https://www.nasmhpd.org/sites/default/files/SAMHSA_Concept_of_Trauma_and_Guidance.pdf
2. Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. New York: Penguin Books.
3. Irish Times - More than 6,100 housing offers received for Ukrainian refugees arriving in Ireland (irishtimes.com)
